AaronDavid

AaronDavid, 1 day ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 day ago to random

Alice, 1 day ago to random

I don’t pay much attention to follower counts, but I realized I'm not far off from 10,000 which is bizarre for an average middle aged woman with no notable credentials or claim to fame, so I think it would be funny if I could hit 10,000; especially after that guy let me know he unfollowed me because he didn't like my dumb boner joke just so we can all be like TAKE THAT!

AaronDavid, 7 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 9 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 12 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 13 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 13 days ago to random

I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them).

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

AaronDavid, 14 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 14 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 15 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 15 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 18 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 21 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 24 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 26 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 27 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 29 days ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random

BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(😎 THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random

AaronDavid, 1 month ago to random