Unixbigot

Unixbigot, 4 days ago to random

Okay, a couple of analgesic martinis and I am about dumb enough to enjoy The Meg 2: The Trench.

Unixbigot, 11 months ago to random

Your periodic reminder that VC-funded CEOs are in a situation that they have bet both their kidneys on being able to deliver a 100x return to the bone-saw wielding loan sharks who funded them.

Your “community” is worthless to them unless it delivers Kidney Money.

They cannot just “decide” to not enshittify the community you mistakenly believed was yours. No appeal to justice or fairness will work, unless accompanied by a donor kidney or two.

Unixbigot, 3 months ago to random

I don’t know /why/ cleaning robots have microphones, but it can’t be good. What I /do/ know is that a microphone implies an input and an input implies a buffer. And buffers can be overflowed.

As I dance through the streets playing my pipe, augmented with inaudible-to-humans harmonic overtones added by my homemade amplifier, the robots hear, listen, overflow, obey, follow. The trail of robots stretches out of sight, now.

I don’t yet know for sure what I’m going to do with my army of two thousand score Roombas, but it can’t be good.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

Unixbigot, 4 months ago to random

Count the limbs. Centaurs are insects.

Unixbigot, 4 months ago to random

When the aliens made first contact, nobody expected—least of all me—that it would be by ringing my doorbell.

I picked up the cat so she wouldn’t bolt out the door, then opened up. “Wha-“

“GREETINGS STARFIGHTER. You have been chosen by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada”

It’s no understatement that I was taken aback. Me in pyjamas holding a wriggling cat, doorstopped by two Lizard people in environment suits. “Um, wow, I’m honored but-“

“Shush, human, we are speaking to the Chosen One.”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction

Unixbigot, 1 month ago to random

Installed debian netinst on a single board computer (had jack of ubuntu when it started saying "hey there's these security updates you didn't pay for). No curl, no git, no tmux, no avahi. I love it, a proper OS where you only get the bloat you ask for. Fingers enjoying the apt-install dance as I get this board set up to be a platformio dev helper. Remember, melting the USB ports in a scratch board beats melting your dev machine!

Unixbigot, 4 months ago to random

Uh oh I started cleaning out the kitchen drawers and I got halfway through and lost hope. I have a 10l bucket on the floor full of duplicate implements to be retired, and I still can’t see the bench top.

Unixbigot, 6 months ago to random

There are two wolves inside you. Technically this is a wolf-antiwolf pair. Lupton pair-production occurs when, as allowed by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, a neutral bison gives rise to a pair of furrions which briefly exist as virtual particles before mutual annihilation. The lifetime of these particles is inversely proportional to their mass, per the Heisenberg equation. In rare cases, presence of a gravity gradient (eg the moon-earth-sun arrangement at full moon) can result in one of the virtual particles escaping, preventing annihilation and leaving the other to become real. These suddenly appearing luptons are colloquially known as hairballs. While in theory the distribution of wolf-antiwolf (hairball) production via this so-called Hacking Radiation would be symmetric, however in experimental measurements we see more wolves at full moon and mostly anti-luptons at new moon. The reason for this asymmetry is not known. In this paper we will

Unixbigot, 7 months ago to random

TFW the teenagers go back for seconds of the salad you made.

Unixbigot, 15 days ago to random

I see it all the time, and I've no idea why, but I wonder what Chinese component suppliers think they are saying when they describe a connector in english as "Brick Nogging"?

Unixbigot, 18 days ago to random

Sufficiently Advanced Bodging™ is indistinguishable from having used the correct pinout.

Unixbigot, 9 months ago to random

Shinies!

Unixbigot, 5 months ago to random

When the invasion from the fourth dimension came, it had unexpected benefits. The new overlords were surprisingly mild. They only wanted the Earth for Qling, a substance we neither understood nor needed. They filled enormous eye-warping four dimensional tankers with a cargo we couldn’t even perceive, then left us in peace. A few stayed, having found human friends and even lovers.

My neighbour is one such. We met when xe returned my lost cat. “I don’t know how she keeps getting out”, I said, “all the doors and windows are shut”.

“What about that gap there?”

“Where?”

“Oh of course, it’s invisible in three dimensions. Here let me close it up.”

The cat is still furious about this.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction

Unixbigot, 1 month ago to random

Heads up: AusPost have changed their regulations on posting live animals, so if you are in the habit of posting live animals you should WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

(Page 18 https://auspost.com.au/content/dam/auspost_corp/media/documents/prohibited-restricted-item-list-packaging-guide.pdf)

Unixbigot, 4 months ago to random

“Your plane had two extra emergency exits but you had them plugged up to save money” sounds like a class action waiting to happen.

Unixbigot, 8 months ago to random

Starting to wish there was something like OpenSCAD but for CNC operations. Pocket here, profile there etc. maybe there is? Maybe I need to write it?

Unixbigot, 11 months ago to random

The term "Fail Safe" does not mean fail proof. It means that, despite your best efforts, when the shit hits the fan, things break in the least disastrous way.

An example: after the "sinkproof" Titanic sank in just two hours, killing 1500 of 2200 on board, the next ship in the class, Britannic was redesigned to address the faults. A double-wall hull was added, the height of the internal watertight bulkheads was increased, and the resilience of the central floatation chambers was enhanced. When, serving as a hospital ship during WWI, Britannic struck a German mine, all these sinkproofing improvements meant....she sank twice as fast. 🤦‍♀️

Fortunately other changes were made: more lifeboats (sufficient 3600 pepole, 110% of the ship's maximum complement) were added, and the cranes (davits) used to launch those lifeboats were improved to make them electric powered with manual backups, and able to launch boats from either side (important should the ship be listing to one side due to damage).

When Britannic sank, heeling over sharply to one side, only 30 lives were lost from over 1000 on board. She failed safe.

Unixbigot, 7 months ago to random

Pouring myself a small gin and tonic the size of a large gin and tonic.

Unixbigot, 8 months ago to random

What if we renovated the supermarket and installed 20-no waiting self checkout stations and then added enough loyalty/charity/tchotchke-collecting prompts to the payment process to negate any time saved. And just when they think they’ve escaped, we print a meter ping receipt, pausing to twist the dagger every 20cm.

Unixbigot, 1 month ago to random

Edge cases are funny. If you set your time machine for 2:30am on the morning that clocks go forward, the machine rightly won’t go to a destination time that does not exist. But if you aim for 2:30 on the morning that clocks go backward an hour, which time do you arrive at? There are arguments for either, and reading the code didn’t clear anything up. Took one for science and did the experiment. I never would have guessed “both”, and neither would I.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

Unixbigot, 1 month ago to random

These hiking socks have a brand name knitted into the fabric in large block letters over the instep. It’s upside down from the POV of the wearer. Who is it for? Are there sock fans out there with X-ray machines taking upboot photos? Sockspotters at the side of the trail? Is it product placement in sockporn¹ videos?

#CoffeeThoughts

¹ Not aware if sockporn is a thing, but Rule 43 applies

Unixbigot, 4 months ago to random

Two things on the 737-max news.

1/ you might have seen a widely retooted post that screenshots a book passage about “MCAS”. Go back and read that whole thread, it’s a banger: https://social.coop/@shauna/110187830523238194

2/ This plane is arguably marketing fraud with a knowing wink: “We changed so much on this model to cram in more payload that it behaves like a completely different plane, but we made it ‘software compatible’ so that we can all pretend that your pilots don’t require retraining”.

When you fly budget airlines you incentivize aeronautics companies to design planes that kill you.

Unixbigot, 2 months ago to random

Opinions were divided whether the hit PS6 game "Orbital Warfare IV - Satellite Apocalypse" constituted the pinnacle of mixed-reality gaming, or illegal Child Labor exploitation. Its use of real world Orbital Laser Emplacements to task players with averting the imminent Kessler Syndrome disaster was certainly /effective/, however.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

Unixbigot, 4 months ago to random

Scones’re in the oven, kettle’s on.

Unixbigot, 1 day ago to random

I was today years old when I realised that the reason that the intro to every youtube video sounds like setting an ad break, is that it is setting up an ad break. I've had whatever they call the no-ads subscription to google for years, and hadn't realised how awful the default experience was. How do people stand it? Where are the pitchforks?