dgar

dgar, 1 year ago to random

Y’all be sure to listen to at least one Dgar song today, okay?
☝️😅🤘

#Dgar #WishfulThinking #TheFunniestJokeYet #AintGonnaHappen

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dgarmusic

Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/au/artist/dgar/1534169037

YouTube Topic: https://youtube.com/channel/UCODHoyCwEoGged7UU0FSjKg

YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@JonDgar

Tidal: https://tidal.com/artist/21571623

Deezer: https://deezer.page.link/rD9kbQYQBeFg2rbG9

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0oeCPGv32IomKqc7zB6u36

dgar, 1 year ago to music

I tooted Hello World on November 30, 2022.

Then I began tooting my #music and a ton of #puns #jokes, and #memes. And you all responded so genuinely, and with such positivity, that I very quickly was made to feel at home.

My deepest gratitude goes out to the #Mastodon community, a #community that has literally improved the quality of my time on this spinning rock as it hurtles through space, towards a future that seems more uncertain every day. It’s unlike any other “social media platform” here.

Today, I celebrate the arbitrary milestone of five thousand followers, and I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for the favourites, the boosts, the follows, and the comments.

Thank you for your conversations, discussions, and corrections.

Thank you for listening to my music and sharing your thoughts on it with me, and for following along on your chosen streaming service. This has been amazing.

But, above all, I’d like to thank you all for making Mastodon the friendly and welcoming place that it is. My experience here is one of wonderful acceptance, and it has been truly humbling. There is nowhere else quite like it.

Massive big huge love to you all,

• Jon (Dgar)

dgar, 1 year ago to random

How can you tell when a vocalist is at the door?

When they can’t find the key, and don’t know when to come in.

jaypeach53, 1 year ago to random

@dgar, a fellow musician

dgar, 1 year ago to random

A Möbius strip walks into a bar, sobbing.

Bartender: “What’s wrong buddy?”

Strip: “Where do I even begin?”

dgar, 1 year ago to random

I was told I should sing tenor twelve miles away.

dgar, 1 year ago to random

As long as we have the warning signs on display for everyone to see, we’ll never have to worry again.

dgar, 1 year ago to random

I fixed my brass instrument with a tuba glue.

StefanThinks, 1 year ago to random

I'm going to start a humor magazine for marathoners. Every issue will run running jokes.

dgar, 1 year ago to random

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

This commandment, widely considered to be the first one, where God specifically confirms the existence of other gods, but says he’s ‘number one’ out of all of them, always seemed to me, a weird thing to find in the texts of a monotheistic religion.

dgar, 1 year ago to random

#EnglishIsHard #OxfordComma

dgar, 1 year ago to random

When people misuse the words concrete, asphalt and gravel, it's just cementics.

dgar, 1 year ago to random

Splinter In The Mind's Eye
~ Dgar

I can see through
the thin line that you
call your mind.
Darkness comes creeping,
walls are receding,
outside they say you look fine.

Monsters are creeping from my head,
talons are shining, eyes are desiring,
the flesh they rip from the dead.
Mirrors are breaking in me.
Kaleidoscope reflections I see.
Walk on shards with my cut-up feet.

Nobody's home, you're all alone,
you can't be wasting time.
There's sinners around, they must be brought down,
your poem doesn't rhyme.

The poisoned earth has gone completely,
opened up to eat me.
Aching for outdoors.
It's so bright, artificial hygienic white light,
I can't take it anymore.

I see you there in the corner.
The world looks at you with contempt.
They are glad to find you mad.
Not even your mother wept.

Can't get no light in.
The fear is blinding.
I want to curl up and die.
I can't imagine,
with this painful stabbin',
a splinter in my mind's eye.

Locked up and forgotten,
we leave you there.
Tie up your body, cut off your hair.
You're running out of time.
You can still make your poem rhyme.

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/dgarmusic/splinter-in-the-minds-eye

Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/au/album/splinter-in-the-minds-eye/1534169519?i=1534169520

Tidal: https://tidal.com/track/157162007

YouTube: https://youtu.be/EfwPWI3QFfc

Deezer: https://deezer.page.link/pv6m4LyKp1m1b3Hv8

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4F0gDtvYGxUjbJyN7kqt4r

dgar, 1 year ago to random

Hi.
I’m.
William.
Shatners.
Speechwriter.

dgar, 1 year ago to random

I can’t open my piano.

The keys are on the inside.