monkeyborg

monkeyborg, 6 months ago to random

Surfing gangs and toxic waste mutant superheroes have largely disappeared from the public discourse in the last 30 years and it’s a damn shame

monkeyborg, 1 year ago to random

If youʼre in a movie and a computer wants to play a game with you, you better nope up out of that shit

monkeyborg, 4 months ago to random

AI? Psssh I lost a job to a not-particularly-clever Perl script 15 years ago

monkeyborg, 8 months ago to random

Damn. Just saw a guy with a white cane paralyzed at an intersection, because he couldnʼt hear the walk signal over the obnoxiously loud leaf blower on the same block (I told him when he could go). I thought those things were just annoying, but it turns out theyʼre also an accessibility/safety issue.

monkeyborg, 4 months ago to random

presses the big red button

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

Thereʼs an intersection near my house with 3 playgrounds within a quarter mile. One is in a public park; the other two are fenced off in church backyards and sit empty 90% of the time.

Imagine if the churches had donated to the city to build one big public playground for the ages. All the kids would benefit. The church folks would have opportunities to build bridges to people in the community.

Our privatization mindset is making us all poorer.

monkeyborg, 1 year ago to random

Turns out Under Armour® is basically useless against an edged weapon of any heft

monkeyborg, 8 months ago to random

What if we just decided to use the Adobe and Microsoft software from like 2003, forever

monkeyborg, 8 months ago (edited 8 months ago) to random

No my first name ainʼt baby
Itʼs Fred, Mr. Rogers if youʼre nasty!

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

True story: my siblings and I were among the first kids to ever play with pool noodles.

Around 1990, my Dad, who worked for a furniture mfg. company with a foam rubber plant, told us that they had taken on a contract to make foam tubes for a new construction toy called “Toobers & Zots.”

He brought some home for us. We quickly figured out their best uses: floating in the pool and smacking each other.

Never did see T&Z in the toy stores, but a few years later pool noodles were everywhere.

monkeyborg, 2 months ago to random

Imagine if the alchemists had succeeded in their goal of transmuting lead into gold.

They could have kept the process secret and enriched themselves amd their patrons beyond their wildest dreams.

Or they could have released the knowledge to the world, turning gold plentiful, undermining the existing basis of accumulated wealth and providing the people with an inexpensive material whose unique properties make it ideal for any number of practical uses.

Which kind of alchemist would you be?

monkeyborg, 1 year ago to random

The weirdest thing of the last decade is that people will accuse you of being some kind of woke activist for not wanting to platform Nazis.

Do yʼall even remember the second half of the 20th century?

In 1980 the Blues Brothers drove a car through a Nazi parade, because comedy.

D-FENS in 1993ʼs Falling Down is a conservative white guy rant fantasy, and even he just straight up murders a dude for being a Nazi.

There was no national conversation about this because they were Nazis, fuck ʼem.

monkeyborg, 5 months ago to random

How does one even go to bed?

monkeyborg, 4 months ago to random

Reminding myself that replying in anger when someone runs their mouth is a sign of weakness, not strength. I am at my most powerful when I step back from that shit, take a breath, and take ownership of the situation.

monkeyborg, 3 months ago to random

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time was 19 years, 364 days, 23 hours, and 59 minutes ago

monkeyborg, 8 months ago to random

The Remnants of Hurricane Ophelia sounds like a Counting Crows album

monkeyborg, 6 months ago to random

People keep saying we live in the worst timeline. But chin up! Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger didn’t stay together long enough to release their album of Christmas duets so that can’t possible be true.

monkeyborg, 8 months ago to random

I am over these tiny little plastic dental floss spools. I just want to buy one massive spool and have a shawarma-thing of dental floss in my bathroom, rotating slowly at all times

monkeyborg, 5 months ago to random

Santa: Hello young man, what’s your name?

Bryson: Bwyson

Santa: Well Bryson, what would you like for Christmas this year?

Bryson: DIG THROUGH THE DITCHES AND BURN THROUGH THE WITCHES I SLAM

Santa: Ho, ho, ho, let’s see what Santa has in the back of his

DRAGULA

monkeyborg, 9 months ago to random

If Adam Levine and Avril Lavigne had a kid together, would they name them Advil?

monkeyborg, 4 months ago to random

I respect the opt-in/opt-out discourse. But y’all do understand that what you post to the web is public, right? It was created so that people can make information available to the world and for other people to be able to find it easily. That’s what it is; that’s what it does.

You don’t have to put your info out there using this or any other tool. Privacy tools should be used and should be honest about what they do.

But once you’ve shouted into the void, you can’t blame the void for listening.

monkeyborg, 19 days ago to random

Does anyone know of a guide to prevent search engines from indexing your site?

I donʼt mean robots.txt or NOINDEX or something else that requires the good graces of the search engine operator.

I mean treating search engines as a threat and actively denying them access to your site.

monkeyborg, 18 days ago to random

Thinking about adopting the demeanor of one of those pleasant middle-aged men in bowtie and suspenders, except without those things and with black leather and chains instead

monkeyborg, 17 days ago to random

Look, of course I’m rooting for my ex to succeed. How well she does in life has a direct correlation to how much help she’s able to give to our son starting out, and how well he does has a direct correlation to the quality of the nursing home he will eventually put me in.

monkeyborg, 17 days ago to random

All yʼall telling people to google trump rule 34 will never get into heaven