Have you got your date for top surgery coming up? Have a look at 'What Do I Need to Know About Surgery?' for info on what to pack for hospital and for top recovery tips from the community. You'll find it at https://tinyurl.com/TransActualSurgery
One of the scariest parts of coming out is coming out at work. Unlike your family--blood or chosen--work is just a bunch of people who get thrown together, mishmash, and have to make things work out.
This week on #StainedGlassWoman, it's a guide to give to your coworkers when they get that wide-eyed look and think "Oh, s#!t, my coworker just told me they're trans." At least, it should keep people from asking what's in your goddamned pants.
@Impossible_PhD The resources you provide to us are so valuable I can't express my thanks enough.
I forwarded this to my manager who while supportive, didn't really "get it". He just called me to talk about your article and what the company can be doing better ❤️
"More training is needed for frontline NHS staff, I feel like the trans community is often required to educate the people who are gatekeeping their access to the services they need. The waiting times are maddening! Three years or more of waiting is is not acceptable, especially when gender dysphoria is your daily companion." Liv
The Federal Republic joins 20 countries which have passed laws allowing people to declare their own legal gender. I hope someday this will apply across the whole EU.
On a more personal level, this means I can finally change my own legal gender to #nonbinary 🎉🏳️⚧️
@MadeyeTheCarnaptious I was following the whole thing, it's absolutely shameful. I do hope Scotland can come and rejoin the rest of the EU at some point.
"Trans people come in all shapes and sizes. The ones I have met are nice and just want to get on with their lives. It is wearing to have to justify your existence every time someone wants to call you out on something someone has read or heard." Louise
Looking for Survey Participants for the dissertation project "Reviewing Gender as Colonial Construct and its Impact on Transgender and Intersexual Discrimination." You must be 18+ and trans and/or intersex.
I confuse people with my race, ethnicity, my disability and because I’m trans. My disability makes it hard to communicate sometimes, so I think people in general are awkward around me.” Kaijoumari-Jade
Of all the comings-out we have to do as trans folks, telling our parents is one of the very hardest. What it even means to be trans has changed so much that it can be incredibly hard to even get them to understand what your gender is.
This week on #StainedGlassWoman, we've got "Oh, s#!t, my child just told me they're trans," a guide meant to be handed off to parents of trans teens and adult children, to help them get there.
This is another JUMBO SGW, weighing in at nearly 6500 words!
As a note, though, Substack's alt text feature is bugging out for some users, and I'm one of the ones affected. As a result, all alt text has to be done as captions for the time being.
Small update: @JoscelynTransient mentioned https://transfamilysos.org/, a nonprofit she works with, as a great resource for parents of trans kids, and so I added it as well as /r/cisparenttranskid as extra resources for parents!
Hi from #Oldenburg, Northern Germany. I'm #newhere on SoNoMu.club (SoNoMu = Sound, Noise, Music). I'm a #DJ and have established a group for electronic music DJs in Northern Germany.
Finally happy with my curves and female/intersex body 💚 no more dysphoria, because sex isn't gender, and gender expression is more about behaviours and personality to me than looks. Don't want to "pass", don't care about passing, don't care if people misuse my pronouns. No matter how I'm perceived, I'm confidently nonbinary, authentically me. And after so many years of confusion, stress and body shaming, that's something to be grateful for 🌈 #TheyThem#enby#nonbinary
"The intersections between being a trans & autistic person couldn’t be clearer. My experience was trenchantly invalidated because under the cisgender and neurotypical gaze, we are drained of any agency, autonomy or say in who we are." Fey
"Being open from the start of the appointment about the emotional side of my request made it easier for me to communicate, something that can be hard being autistic, instead of trying to find the right words to say after I was already upset." Gage
For so many of us, coming out isn't just about ourselves--it's about the people we love most, and especially our partners.
But we do come out to them, and then the person we love the most is faced with the reality that, "Oh, s#!t, my partner just told me they're trans." What the fuck do I do?!
They deserve support in those tender first moments, and this week, I'm going to try and give them a little with a jumbo edition of #StainedGlassWoman!
Been offered your surgery date but not sure what happens next? If it's transition related surgery you're having, TransActual are here to help. Check out 'What Do I Need to Know About Surgery?' at https://tinyurl.com/TransActualSurgery
"The reality of this situation is we have known exactly who we are for as long as we can remember. It may have been a looser sense of difference from the mainstream than it is now, but I can guarantee it was there. We may not have had the language to describe that feeling, or had the visibility to be able to voice who we are at an academic level, but we have always been who we are." -Ben Pechey, The Book of #Nonbinary Joy
Coming out is often not a linear process for nonbinary people.
Only a few of our labels are remembered by our societies, and those few labels are not all the same ones. So, you must effectively teach a course on gender to those you come out to. To make matters more murky, you might've come out once already about your orientation or another label.
Our lives aren't cute tv shows with simple endings. Allow yourself some room to improvise, and pat yourself on the back for getting it done.
