Nearly 80% of 16- to 17 year-old boys in the U.K. have watched Andrew Tate’s content, according to a survey by the anti-extremism group Hope Not Hate, which led the campaign to de-platform him. GQ magazine talked to anti-Tate influencers about how they're trying to connect with teens and turn the tide on toxic masculinity.
"In patriarchal societies where #masculinity is coded as #power and control, men often try to get closer to women through power and control. The range of how this plays out is vast. It could be inconsequential, or it could end a woman’s life. This (...) may also be a reason why so many women in the “Man or Bear” debate chose the bear."
I recommend every man to read this piece by long-distance #cyclist Laura Killingbeck.
Caitlin Flanagan: "What if we understood that boys are born into a destiny, not a pathology?"
Me: "What if we understood that boys are human, and that they don't have to be heroic in their performance of masculinity to be valid men or good human beings?"
Flanagan's article is basically about male strength as a virtue when used in service to others. It's more of the same bullshit suggesting that men are only valuable if they're useful to others.
Well, I'm not interested in being Flanagan's idea of a good man, let alone a heroic one. There's only one woman out of all the billions on earth who gets to tell me how to be a man, and Ms. Flanagan ain't it. That is my wife's privilege, subject to revocation if abused.
I wish someone had sat me down 20 years ago and explained to me that the term toxic masculinity (a term that was new to me in 2004) did not mean "Masculinity is toxic", but instead essentially the opposite.
One aspect of masculinity that many find desirable (eg either to embody or in a partner) is staying cool, in-control, and present under a variety of circumstances. This requires accepting the situation as it is and not being phased by things that might interfere.
Toxic masculinity is a term encapsulating a series of behaviors that arise from not being able to handle a situation, such as rigid gender roles, entitlement, and violent reactivity. These traits are almost the inverse of masculinity, and arise primarily when one does not have the ability to achieve that level of both self-acceptance and emotional self-regulation.
In other words, masculinity is not under attack, its shadow opposite is.
I had previously said, after watching clips from Kat Williams' Club Shay Shay interview, that Kat was being mighty silly about the "men in dresses" thing. Basically he was like "they tried to make me wear a dress, and if you're a Black man in Hollywood they'll do this to you too, and if you refuse they'll blackball you."
Well, FD Signifier (of the #SignifiedBSides youtube channel) has a much better critique of Kat's comments: they're homophobic, obviously, and who benefits when Black men embrace and try to conform to a narrow ideal of brutish hyper-masculinity? White supremacy! What do police say when they killed a Black man? They feared for their life. What was the origin of so many white race riots that ended in a lynching? Accusations against Black men and boys of being scarily, violently hyper-masculine.
I love this guy's commentary, he has many great video essays. And I say that as a person who basically hates the video essay format.
“Are there any other male friendly subs on here?” - online men’s rights groups as simultaneous communities of care and hate, inclusion and exclusion:
Luc S Cousineau, Leisure/Loisir (2023)
"There is, therefore, a kind of shared identity between myself and the collective avatar of men’s rights groups (the White male patriarch) that while fundamentally misaligned ideologically, compels me to examine the phenomena that draw people ‘like me’ into their ranks"
So, I had blood work done recently. I have it done regularly as I have high cholesterol. The doctor wants to check to ensure my meds are working. This time I had a testosterone panel.
My numbers came back fine. Close to the middle-ish of the "normal" range for a man of my age.
I did need to get it checked. Overall I'm fine and there's no indication of medical issues based on my testosterone levels
A lot of men tend not to talk about this or other types of testing for themselves. I know my Dad never really did.
We should.
There's no shame in whatever your testosterone levels are, regardless of what the back or your mind or society tries to tell you.
Anyway - stay healthy. Be kind to yourself. Fight the lies society tells you.
JDAMs are SUCH a Gemini thing!