Just a reminder, if you're seeing spam, be extra careful when blocking the offending account. It's easy to block the whole domain by accident, and you're not going to get those followers/people you followed back easily.
Le-savais-tu ?
A chaque fois que tu fais tourner la photo de Margaret Hamilton devant sa pile de code, la science devient moins sexiste et tu obtiens automatiquement ton statut d'homme-féministe. 🥰 #fact#trueStory
(Non : arrêtez de vous vautrer dans la facilité avec vos 3 femmes scientifiques qui servent de caution à votre inaction, ça commence à se voir)
A few years ago, I was waiting to cross the street in Manhattan, when this lady approached me. As I turned to her, she hands me a card. She's a psychic.
So I promptly returned the card back, and replied:
The M5 south of the river has those audible lane markings. In fact, it was the state Main Roads Department’s original test site for that invention. The first version was a ribbed metal strip, laid under the roadside lane marker and then painted white. When your tire hit the strip it made a long droning BAARRP to wake up a drifting driver. Worked great (damn near shit myself the first time I hit one) but cost a ton. The final version, which now gets used everywhere, not just on the edge markers but even on the dashed lane dividers, is just paint. They paint the white line then impress a herringbone pattern into I guess the gooey mixture of paint and ground up rubber, leaving a pattern of little bricks the size of your fingertip. Still makes a good BAARRP, but the whole thing is laid out by one machine.
This morning as I take the exit for work I get the interrupted tone as I cross the dotted lane markers. This got me thinking, the inventor probably took inspiration from aircraft cockpit alarms. This regular pattern of dots, stamped out by a wheel in the wet paint-goop makes a good loud alarm tone, kinda like that one iPhone alarm sound that you select when you really can’t sleep in. But what if it /wasn’t/ regular? Could you encode music in it? Speech?
This is my thing. My whole job is product prototyping. I’m thinking about this idea all the way from the exit until I get to the lab. I have a robot chassis or three, I have plenty of spare gps receivers. Magnetic drill. Line following sensors. What if I took the regular pattern of dots and removed some, to generate a pulse-code-modulated wave form, like how PC games in the 90s would try to squeeze recognizable audio out of the shitty square wave beeper on your computer, back before “sound cards” were a thing? I run off a couple of meters of fake lane marker on the belt printer, and while that prints I cobble together some software. Yeah, it doesn’t bloody work. Takes a week or so of print-a-road-marker-overnight, and then fuck-it-up-in-the-morning until I get a line follower, a line /eater/ if you will, that can subtractively encode a WAV file into the lane marker.
I work late, past sunset. On the way home I pull into the emergency stopping bay a klik before my exit. I lift the Eater Of Lines out of the truck and stash it in the long grass. It’s set to activate at 3am, follow and selectively eat a few hundred meters of line, then go off into the weeds again. At the speed limit in that area your tires cover around thirty meters of road each second.
Next morning I get on the freeway heading south, but take the very next exit and then loop around and get back on, heading home. It actually takes an effort of will to deliberately run off the road at 100km/hr. BAARRP BAARP BAA–TERRAIN TERRAIN TERRAIN PULL UP PULL UP PULL UP–RRP BAARRP BAARRP. Fuck me, it works!
I've wanted to tell this true story for 10 years. Today, my book, "Freeing Teresa," is live in print and as an e-book. 🙌 Please help me spread the word!
Advance praise:
“A courageous, personal account of fighting the system—and family— to free Teresa from #forcedcare.” Alanna Hendren, Executive Director, Developmental Disabilities Association
9/25/2013, 'Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) paused in his lengthy speech on the Senate Floor in opposition to continued funding of the Affordable Care Act. He read Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss.'
@Khrys#TrueStory Pendant la préhistoire, sur un BBS, un certain M. Langou s'était mis en colère et avait demandé à ce que son nom disparaisse de tous les messages.
Le sysop choisit de modifier le code du site pour qu'il remplace systématiquement "langou" par "agabheu" et tout le monde oublia l'incident jusqu'au jour où quelqu'un publia la recette des Agabheustes à la crème.
One day while picking my son up from day care, I noticed all the kids checking me out in a very particular manner. I asked him what they had done today, and apparently, they had been talking about what their parents did for work.
"I couldn't remember if you are with the FBI or the CIA, but the guys thought it was pretty cool" he said
While he had a few details wrong, it made for a good story at morning coffee with my IBM colleagues the next day.
FRIEND: They should have these all the time if the month doesn't have an R... or, wait, if it does?
ME: They're all farmed now so it doesn't really matter, but for wild oysters you generally don't want to eat them in the summer. They get pulpy because they're basically full of oyster cum.
OTHER FRIEND: Haha and how does that taste?
ME: Compared to human cum you barely notice it.
BARTENDER I DIDN'T REALIZE WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE: 😳