amiserabilist

rephlex00, 21 days ago to random

Hey baby let’s do like the dishes and soak

the_etrain, 22 days ago to random

Given my middle-ageness, I will only be using this account to complain about the sodium content of food from here on out.

Alice, 23 days ago to random

Would you be surprised to learn that I teach kindergarten?

I mean, I don’t because holy shit could you imagine those poor children?

But would you?

Alice, 23 days ago to random

Whenever anyone tells me they're pregnant, my initial thought is about whether they're going to love it or list it.

mentallyalex, 24 days ago to random

My smart TV has decided I am watching Netflix and not YouTube as I have asked it too.

Apparently there are updates to the application I have no interest in, but my television has decided my will is less important than that of the software.

Mrfunkedude, 24 days ago to random

So who else sits on the toilet the first thing in the morning and reads the Fedi?

Asking for a friend.

rightardia, 25 days ago to random

Never knew PopEye was Buddhist.

mina, 25 days ago to random German

Do rich people really like to live in fortresses?

RickiTarr, 25 days ago to random

So, I was on a long drive yesterday, and put on some pump me up music, so I didn't get sleepy. I just put something on YouTube, and I ended up in the group of music that I would call Peak Mid to Late Millenial. For perspective, I'm one of the Gappers, not quite old enough to be Gen X, but also feel too old to be a Millenial, although I suppose I technically am, just an Ancient one. ANYWAY, this music, on the surface, sounds like bubble gum pop dance music, the kind you dance in "da club" to, but as I was listening, I realized most of the lyrics had a trend that broke down basically to this:

Get your friends together, drink heavily, have sex, party, DANCE, GO LIVE IN THE PRESENT, because we will all probably die young anyway.

Most of these songs are probably between 10-15 years old, and honestly probably really caught onto the zeitgeist of the time. Hope didn't work, we are still caught in a shit conflict none of us want to be in. The world is actively burning, and no one in power wants to save it. We make less money than our parents and their parents, we'll probably never get to own a home, we'll probably have college debt forever, if we could even afford to go. Might as well party your life away. I do wonder if Trump was a pretty big slap in the face about how bad it could really go, because this Apocalypse attitude seems to be changing a bit, or maybe Gen Z is just rebelling against their sad grunge Gen X parents. LOL

Either way, that was some kind of a ramble, share your thoughts on this, and listen to a peak representation of this musical phenomenon. It's kind of a banger.

https://youtu.be/NOubzHCUt48?si=e9ZwpiRj9A5Q9hfT

tayfonay, 25 days ago to random

Wouldn’t it be a great turn of events if the dog she shot was John Wick’s dog?

Alice, 26 days ago (edited 25 days ago) to random

Edit: Claudia met her goal!

Thank you so much to everyone who donated!

Extra special thanks to @JoParkerBear and @LibertyForward1 for being the lovely people who brought this gofundme to my attention.

Also, thanks to all of you for reminding me about this wonderful place called Mastodon where people really can come together and make good things happen.

If you donated and want some weird photo booth photos and haven't messaged me with your address, please DM me so I can ensure I send some awkwardness your way.

Original:
I’m going to try something kind of out of character, but Claudia needs air conditioning ASAP and she can't do that until she has 100% of the funds needed.

I have a stack of nerdy photo booth photos of me and/or me and Kev.

If you donate at least $10 to this gofundme, send me a screenshot of your donation along with your address and I'll mail you a photo from one of the strips.

If you donate at least $20 to this gofundme, send me a screenshot of your donation along with your address and I'll mail you an entire strip.

The bonus of the entire strip is that I’m a weird looking person so you're bound to get at least one weird photo of me.

I'll also write a little note and maybe draw a picture of something like a hotdog or whatever. (Disclaimer: I am NOT an artist and it will show) https://beige.party/@JoParkerBear/112339395276601966

amiserabilist, 26 days ago to random

@Mrfunkedude

my friend has asked me this

"Can you do some research for me. I need to know the best server/hosting site/ software etc for publishing audio & film files...like an audio book or podcast hosting site"

he is not on the fediverse but am thinking it would be appropriate.

i would be grateful for your opinion.

thank you for your consideration on this matter.

dgar, 26 days ago to random

TheBreadmonkey, 26 days ago to random

Who remembers loom bands

mentallyalex, 27 days ago to random

Today is a day of furry confusion and humans encroaching!

I was very rude today and I need to come clean. Early mornings are sometimes chaotic for me. I have aggressive morning routines, insomnia, and often disruptive schedules.

Today I was coming back home and raised the garage door per normal, but today was no normal day. It would appear the squirrel uprising started today and I was a priority target.

As the door raised a large fat squirrel dashed in front of my car. Being the guy I am, I stopped and began scolding the creature through my opened car window. Had I but known this was the forward sentry of attack I would have taken a more defensive position.

Since my vehicle stopped the squirrel moved onto phase 2, home infiltration, and ran full tilt straight into my garage. Squirrelly shoulders pumping with adrenaline and excitement to get this far, Fatboy (we are calling him Fatboy as he is chonky and adorable) bunched his haunches and full out threw himself at the door.

Y'all. This squirrel was probably 3lbs. The door wouldn't budge.

At this point, I remove myself from the vehicle to extract Fatboy without squishing him. With soothing voice, I laughing walk into the garage asking Fatboy what their next plans are.

Not to be deterred, Fatboy begins slinking through my bike wheel as I explained their situation, the fact that Zara exists and would love to play. Fatboy decides to take his chances with the freezer until he realizes that Alex knows how to conserve garage space.

Deciding that the mission is likely scrubbed as they failed to account for the weight of the door, Fatboy decides to grand theft auto and makes a dash for my opened car door.

TIL loudly screaming "oh wait!" and dashing at a vehicle will engage 3rd dimension squirrel physics. Fatboy stopped midair, changed directions and continued to scamper into the safety of the bushes as their partner decided that now was the best time to join the fray.

I believe Fatboy's partner is the thinker because he took off after them as they totally became completely invisible against the backdrop of "squirrel colored" red bricks. They aren't invisible but I pretend I can't see them. It makes them feel better, I think.

amiserabilist, 27 days ago to random

@RustyBertrand

have you moved?

TheBreadmonkey, 27 days ago to random

Anyway - enough of all that. I've just realised I know / have met 3 people who claim not only to have met Elton John, but are friends with him. And the funny thing is that I don't believe any of them. I'm prepared to accept I might be wrong, but I do wonder if Elton John is in that sweet spot for people fond of telling porkies, where he's super famous but also seems accessible. Like would anyone here believe me if I said I know Elton (didn't even use his last name, just like I don't when we hang out)?

Alice, 28 days ago to random

Hello, officer. I'd like to speak to the gentleman, instead.