@actuallyadhd@actuallyautistic
I am also a bit anxious and undecisive whether I should start with it tomorrow or on the weekend.
I am a bit afraid that if I should react bad to it, I might leave some bad impression at work, or loosing control etc.
The comment from the doc was only, he can't tell me how I will react on it. And that if I am looking for effects at work, it makes sense to take it at a work day. I think he completely didn't unterstand.
@lifewithtrees@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd To expand a bit, it's making a statement about what sort of person should apply for the job, and using pseudo-medical language to do it, instead of clearly describing the job and leaving it to us to decide whether we are willing to do it.
On top of that, it sounds like a way to describe bad working conditions as if it's the responsibility of workers to cope rather than of management to improve working conditions.
Ok so what are some signals and reasons for signals that’s your partner wants you to do something?
Perhaps it’s the way they hold their coffee or change thier tone or give you looks to let them know what you want or what they are trying to signal to your brain to essentials observe and understand what’s going to happen next
It can be anything I’m curious if any couples made any cognitive life hacks 😵💫😒
@everyday_human@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd seeing as we're a neurodiverse household: if you want something done, you need to actually say it. We do have those small signals, but they often get lost in the others' pack of focus, and that's (mostly) okay.
I constantly struggle because my brain has made connections that are not obvious to others, and when I try to guide them through my thinking I confuse them with details or by skipping explanations that seem obvious to me but completely surprising to anyone else.
@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd I’ve also been told that my explanation style leans too far into being bottom-up (I start from details and then zoom out).
And that confuses me because well - I’m walking people through the details that helped me piece together the high-level conclusions!
I always feel like I should let people figure it out themselves, but then they get confused and frustrated and ask why I’m dumping irrelevant details on them.. 🥲🥲
My life has been one of chapters, written by someone who didn’t start the book with a plan of the narrative arc, or if they did, they kept changing their mind.
I’m feeling better about myself & my life than I’ve ever done before, having truly realised my autistic identity in the last year, at 63, but I couldn’t tell you what I’ll be doing in 5 years. There are too many variables. What’s the point of even trying to work that out?
That question should be banned from job interviews.
However a desired direction is good. Not necessarily a goal, an endpoint, but a direction. I do think we make better decisions when we have some type of path in mind. For example, “I want to be a kinder person” leads to wanting to be kinder to oneself which might lead to therapy etc.
@actuallyautistic@lifewithtrees@actuallyadhd I think NTs just want you to have ANY answer, because they think being stagnant means going backward. Means you’re a lazy drug addict waste of space. If you’re not constantly moving forward, you’re falling behind. #HustleCulture. If asked at a job, talk about being promoted twice and acquiring new business management skills. Just have answers that sound good, no one expects you follow through on them.
After joining a post by Niamh Garvey (hopefully a successful link to it below) about whether she had adhd as well as autism, I have spent the last couple of days contemplating this idea for myself as well.
I am still not entirely convinced, but I am beginning to suspect that I might well be in this situation as well. After watching a number of YouTube videos from those with both autism and adhd and reading up on adhd, I can see a number of things that point on that direction certainly, although I'm not entirely convinced.
I have always been aware of the near overwhelming urge to either interrupt people, because there is something I want to say and if I don't then, then I know there is a more than a reasonable chance that I will forget what it was. I also have a tendency to want to finish people's sentences. Both of these things though I have taught myself to resist. Even though I feel a great deal of discomfort doing so. I am also more than aware that I can forget what I was saying, or thinking, halfway through a sentence. That digging through the trash to find the package with the instructions on, that I only just threw away after reading, is not uncommon. As is failing completely to understand or remember the instructions someone just gave me.
But then, my short term (working) memory is basically non-existent. But, I'm also aware that this is a fairly common problem for autistics and even before I realised I was autistic, I built up systems to help myself deal with this. As well as with my general forgetfulness. Lists, memory aids, even making the route out of my flat a trip hazard to make sure I don't forget to take something with me. Also, I live alone and essentially there is a place for everything and everything has its place. Not foolproof and I have lost things in a very small flat that I still haven't found. But generally speaking effective.
I struggle to start tasks, especially tasks that I have no real interest, or desire to do. Being interested in something has always been my main motivator. But eventually, I can normally force myself and work my way through things, especially if I know they are necessary. Knowing I have this problem is also why I hate leaving things to the last moment. I know that I am more than capable of doing that if I allow myself, but also that the stress from doing so is nearly overwhelming, even if it can be motivational. As is the stress of clutter. Not the organised clutter that is my flat, where I know where everything is, as in somewhere in that pile over there, but the clutter that builds up eventually and begins to feel as if it is out of control.
Novelty is a factor in my life. Or, boredom, rather. Because sooner, although far more likely later, I will grow bored with routines, or things like safe foods, and need to change them. Many of my interests also seem to suffer from a similar threshold. A certain point where I lose interest and no longer feel any need to maintain them, even though this might make me feel guilty about giving up on them. In fact, I hate boredom and I have always needed a certain amount of new things to watch, or discover and to be actively doing stuff, if only in my head. And whilst I have never thought of myself as being particularly spontaneous or impulsive. I am, within certain limits of self-control. There is a rationality that often has to be appeased that gives me a sense of control. I have also taken stupid risks and great risks. But rarely beyond what I knew was necessary, or to my mind, at least, controlled to a point.
I can be easily distracted, by random thoughts or by, (well obviously not squirrels, I mean who would be? but, oh, oh, there's a butterfly) things. But not always to the point that I'm not at least marginally still aware of what I should be paying attention to. Letting myself wander whilst maintaining at least a marginal awareness is an old trick of mine. I have always been a fidgeter, but that's also how I maintained concentration. Feeling the overwhelming need to move, has always seemed to me to be anxiety driven, or is the way I focus and think. In fact, movement for me has always been as much about settling and regulating myself, as it has been compulsive.
As I said, there are certain things that seem to fit, even if they also seem to have been effected and possibly modified by my autism. I would love to hear your thoughts.
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd I suspected ADD years before I had an inkling of autism. My official diagnosis in 2021 included both - I believe the unofficial wording was ‘debilitating ADD’ 😁 and it definitely has been.
Now I tend to identify myself as neurospicy - the smaller categories were helpful for understanding myself - but I don’t want to get caught in those boxes.
I expect to continue to evolve how I see it all.
Hi friends! I have another article to write. The topic is ADHD-ers sharing our experience of what it is like existing as an ADHD-er. Need to send questions to about five folks about their stories.
For people that are not @actuallyadhd the common medication feels different that for those who are #actuallyADHD - non ADHDers feel like on Coke, very energetic and highly vibrant, similar to using Speed, while ADHDers tend to get calm and focused, able to concentrate at all.
Question [I haven't googled yet]: What is it with antidepressants - if people without a depression take those, do they feel LOTS happier than ever or something different?
Tricyclics (I believe) are a an older class of anti-depressants. I haven't seen any studies on this, but SSRI/SNRIs are generally tried first. I think it is because there are less side effects.
I used to believe the same, but I was corrected recently. If ADHD medication works it is like a proof for actually having ADHD. But if one med doesn't work as expected it does not necessarily mean you don't have ADHD.
I was told that because I said that one aspect in motivation to try out meds is to know for super sure.
This is a quote from Terry #Pratchett|s "The Reaper" about DEATH [retired, nom de plume Bill Door]; and now YOU tell me that there's even one main character in the whole Disc world that's neurotypical?! <3
"Bill Door was aware of undertones and overtones [in communication] in the same way that an astronaut is aware of weather patterns below him; they’re all visible, all there, all laid out for study and all totally divorced from actual experience."
@rebekka_m@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd Sure there are. There just the characters that only get one page. The toy store owner in The Hogfather, for example…
Often one is considdered fidgeting the other stimming. But I don't know whether it is based on anything other than the known diagnosis.
Eg. i noticed my ADHD sister in law rockimg recently. And she told me she does that sometimes. I most oftenly see rocking associated to autism, but I really don't know if there is any solid differenciation at all.
I think that discovering ADHD is like a soft introduction to autism, & that medication, if used to moderate ADHD, often exposes autism. That’s kind of how it worked for me, & is probably a gentler introduction to conscious neurodivergence than a full on AuADHD diagnosis
@actuallyadhd Hey folks, I have a question to you, because it's probably more an ADHD thing than autism.
I always try to balance all kind of tasks and appointments in my mind and often it works out. But if somebody at work asks me what I have done in the recen weeks or what I have to do. I always need time to go through all of this and try to reconstruct.
So I often try to nake a fresh attempt in organizing myself. Like use the calendar, a excel list, project tools, todo tools etc.
@Dr_Obvious@actuallyadhd I had the experience that it works OK/longer and more natural for me if the tool I use for that is available to me basically all the time and secondly really likeable/"pretty" and thirdly easy to use. Currently and for quite some time now my daily planning runs very smoothly on Tasks 3.14.0 [Android].
@rebekka_m@actuallyadhd
Thanks. I might have a look into that. Although in my freetime I am fine with how it is.
Work is the troublesome area and there I am always bound to allowed tools.
They offer open project which is overly complicated and buggy. I tried gitlab too and might start again. Outlook and this stupid tasks app appears shitty too.
Drugs prescribed for ADHD, high blood pressure & underactive thyroid all impair our ability to regulate body temperature & cope with heat. Others (including St John’s Wort, not mentioned here) make us more sensitive to sun.
@26pglt@actuallyadhd@actuallyautistic Also, many people with ADHD are also autistic, which includes sensory issues (which can include temperature sensitivity).
Also very interesting reflections on what makes a good relationship, why so many of us are polyamorous & how our autistic & ADHD characteristics influence our responses in different ways.