In the last months of the 2,022nd year Earth Common Era, #Dgar was led to the Mastodon herd by a werewolf from Melbourne, where they climbed up onto the thick matted wool of a beast affectionately known as AusSocial.
Dgar gripped onto the coat and screamed “Hello World!” No one except the werewolf heard.
Dgar began exploring, moving over the beast. So many interesting personalities, such diversity, and although no one seemed to notice them, Dgar noticed the inhabitants. They were being… nice to each other. Courteous and understanding of differing views and perspectives. Dgar was a bit weirded out, but continued to explore.
Explore.
Suddenly the view opened up and Dgar saw the herd for the first time. Beasts just like AusSocial, but all different in their own ways, stretching to the horizons, as far as the eye could see. And there weren’t just Mastodons either. There were all kinds of beasts, all carving out their own little niche. Someone behind whispered “That’s the Fediverse.” Dgar felt the presence of millions of people, working together, competing, evolving, developing… and despairing.
Dgar wandered from feed to feed, community to community, and slowly began to realise that almost everyone was talking about the same things.
Billionaires ruined some place that wasn’t anywhere near as good as where they are right now.
The depressing state of politics and the media that supports it.
Despair over misinformation and the people who believe it.
Gun control.
Climate change.
Natural disasters.
War. Murder. Disease.
Stop!
There’s no jokes.
There’s no shitposting.
There’s no laughter.
There’s lots of love and understanding, but when you look for something funny, there’s a few people asking “Where are all the jokes and shitposters?”
Dgar resolved to fill this niche, and began tooting every joke they could find. For several months, they tooted a joke or meme every twenty minutes while they were awake, and as often as possible while they were asleep. They would traverse great distances, well beyond the herd, to sift through what at times seemed like piles of refuse to find puns and funnies.
After some time, Dgar became known for the funny toots, and many people followed them.
Today, like most days, Dgar climbed up to take in the view of the herd, and a giant smile broke upon his face. There were jokes. There were memes. There were terrible puns. The toots emanating from the very top of AusSocial were light hearted and humorous takes.
It was beautiful.
And so Dgar finds themselves re-considering their place in the community. Does the Fediverse need Dgar to lift their spirit with stolen jokes, old puns, and scavenged memes?
Maybe.
But maybe not so much.
Perhaps the 2,024th year Earth Common Era will be the year Dgar begins concentrating on what Dgar loves.
Making music.
Thank you all for your support. Big love to each and every one of you. ♥️
🫶🎼🎤🎵🎸🎶
@dgar How did you creat this audiotoot? I would love to create those but the way I’ve been doing it is pretty clunky. I record in a different app, save to my phone, then upload here. Is there an easier way?
@Catiearms
I recorded myself reading the toot into Logic Pro on my Mac, through a Scarlett Focusrite 2i2 Studio microphone and mixed in some music from a song I’m working on. Then I bounced out an MP3 in Logic, and uploaded it through the Mastodon web interface.
To be fair, I have set my office up specifically for recording songs though, so this was pretty straightforward.
☝️😊✌️
@dgar From a fellow (& sometimes imitating) dad-jokester, I thank you for this beautifully composed un-farewell wishing us all well.
And I confess that until reading it,
@dgar I AM HERE FOR THIS. Okay for one, you are brilliant and this is brilliant. For two, I can't wait for your new adventures!! I'll eagerly listen to everything you release. GOOD LUCK DGAR!! You're a hero to so many of us!! 💙💙💙
@dgartearfully salutes I'll do it. For all the dads, moms, other parents, and other punsters out there. I'll make you proud, and I'll make you groan. That is a promise!!
@dgar life is a series of encounters, I’m fortunate enough to have encountered you on here. Life’s also a series of challenges, and it’s folk like you that make it much more bearable and fun! THANKS! ❤️❤️
@dgar
You do you. You leave me smiling, so thanks for that. Music is right up there with coffee. I wish I was a better maker than listener, tho. Ham it up.
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