@Mactonex@toot.community
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

Mactonex

@Mactonex@toot.community

"A pickle-herring in the puppet-show of nonsense."

Cishet white male. Recovering graphic designer. Will eat most things except cloves. Never knowingly shagged a Tory.

Can recite the whole of Tam O'Shanter if necessary. Surprising how often that’s not necessary.

Likes: Poetry, focused invective, mid-century design, post-apocalyptic fiction.
Dislikes: lists of likes.

The chance of a lifetime is to be yourself.

Header picture is the beach at Spey Bay, Scotland.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Guess what gang? I signed up to do a sporty thing! I am SO EXCITED.

Too ill right now to actually practice for it, but hoping I remember how to ride my bike anyway 🤞

All credit to heroes @fehrtrade and @NotTheLBCGuy for encouraging me to do it!

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet I did the LiveAid Race for Life (massively hung over after a wedding the night before because I am an idiot) and the best bit about the whole day was getting to run round London without traffic. Cities are sooooo much better when they are not being driven over by traffic.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Google Maps has rolled out an update which shows which parts of your journey are on marked cycle lanes! I might be slow off the mark, I’ve not cycled in a while but... this is cool isn’t it???

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet that is very cool. Can’t find any here in West Yorkshire, wonder if it’s just selected big cities for now?

kristiedegaris, to photography
@kristiedegaris@mastodon.scot avatar

The season of the bees is upon us.

Quick portrait of my eldest daughter this evening as she checked on our hives.

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@kristiedegaris I am impressed by the cleanliness of her bee suit, mine never looked that clean even when it was new.

robyneatseverything, to random
@robyneatseverything@mastodon.social avatar

I'm staying in a budget hotel that has the nicest view and operational air-con and I feel so blessed 🙌

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@robyneatseverything a good view makes such a difference doesn’t it? I stayed in the Tower Hotel in London recently and this was the view from the window. Really added to the trip.

Mactonex, to random
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

So this morning I was hiding in my shed to avoid being pounded by a hailstorm, this afternoon I have had to put my hat on to protect me from the sun. #Allotment #CrazyWeather

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

My bf and I have been performing the important cultural work of ranking #ParksAndRec characters in order of hotness.

Poll in next post: did we get it right? (Comments and debate welcome)

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet No Tammy II?

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet fair enough, but she is crazy sexy - with a heavy emphasis on the crazy 🤣

markmccaughrean, to Scotland
@markmccaughrean@mastodon.social avatar

Wife home from grownup childcare duties in Edinburgh & brought me a delightful present from one of my many old home towns 🏰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

While the purists won’t agree, this is the way 🙇‍♂️🙂👍

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@markmccaughrean macsweens veggie haggis is a wonderful foodstuff, whether you eat meat or not.

girlonthenet, (edited ) to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

UK millennials: if someone handed you a wooden recorder, could you play a song?

(Bonus points in comments if you can tell me which one. This Q brought to you by my confident assertion in group chat that even after 25+ years, I could still smash out Lord of the Dance)

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet I could knock out the first few bars of the theme from Taxi.

robyneatseverything, to random
@robyneatseverything@mastodon.social avatar

This is fine? If they're not in a monogamous relationship, they can both message whoever the fuck they like. Calm down.

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@robyneatseverything and also, what is Chris doing nosing in so much he knows which app the guy is using? Mind your business, creepy Chris.

girlonthenet, to Cat
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Please enjoy this cat that has swallowed a motorbike.

video/mp4

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet love the colour of that jumper/cardigan/clothing item

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Finally did the admin for this weekend's Patreon hangout (i.e. my virtual birthday party) - Come join if you like, or just hurl me some money anyway and help keep the audio project going. Annual subs are £/$20-ish and you get ad-free audio in your podcast feed, access to hangouts, and tonnes more.
https://www.patreon.com/posts/mini-update-for-100613752

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet Can’t make it for your hang out unfortunately but I hope you have a fab time and Happy Birthday!

Mactonex, to random
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet this seems to be right up your street - Japanese train with a cockpit carriage that lets you see over the driver’s shoulder https://urbanists.social/@straphanger/112022361222117966

girlonthenet, (edited ) to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

I am not going to post one, but please humour me by answering the question, I’m curious.

Which part of me would you be most excited to see...

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet I was pretty equally split face/vulva here, could do with a pick all that apply option really

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet because you’ve posted photos of your tits and arse (both lovely), so: your face because it's natural to be curious about what people look like, and vulva because they are just so beautiful.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

"Many men in the past have asked to photograph me naked, during sex. But those pictures are so dull by comparison – this is the hottest photo anyone’s ever taken of me."

NEW blog: a thousand words about a picture. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/a-thousand-words-about-a-picture/

Huge thanks to @stuart_cb for recreating this photo based purely on my description, and capturing the perfect horny essence, like an artistic wizard.

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet @stuart_cb this is great

timbray, (edited ) to random
@timbray@cosocial.ca avatar

So far in my career, I’ve always used the keyboard that came with the computer. But I just took my first step into the world of 3rd-party mechanical keyboards; here’s a report back on experience with the “Lofree Flow”: https://www.tbray.org/ongoing/When/202x/2024/01/20/Lofree-Flow

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@timbray should there be a ‘not’ in this sentence? “No, I’m going to tumble over the edge onto the slippery slope of keyboard obsession.”

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Someone just sent me a link to this and maybe this is what I should do for my fortieth?

It is possibly the most on-brand forty-year-old thing I could do.
https://www.spavalleyrailway.co.uk/product.php/5733/the-kent-cheese-train

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet Cheese train?!? - is it one way or a rind trip? I’ll get my coat…

robyneatseverything, to animals
@robyneatseverything@mastodon.social avatar

She did her best Oliver Twist impression last night to try and score some chicken

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@robyneatseverything so cute!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Post-, how about I run my blog as a pay-per-month postal subscription service? You give me like a fiver a month or something, I write my blogs as normal, but then instead of putting them on the internet I print them out and post them to you? Either that or once a month we all get together in the basement of a seedy pub, you all wear blindfolds, and I whisper my stories to you in the darkness?

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet the blindfolds in the basement thing - would definitely pay for that.

girlonthenet, (edited ) to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Masto: settle a debate...

The song 'if the gaff don't let us down' by Skinny Lister is a Christmas song...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsqaLfWMcp8

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet the goose fat is a dead giveaway - they are obviously going to use it to make roasties for their Christmas dinner when they get back

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet Oh yeah… that as well 😂

kyonshi, to bot
@kyonshi@dice.camp avatar

by the way useful tip: the Alt Text Reminder bot @alt_text will remind you if you have posted a picture without alt text.

If you haven't seen that one before.

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@kyonshi @alt_text for users of Ivory on iOS, there is a setting that does the same thing.

Mactonex, to random
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@girlonthenet saw this and thought of you https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/140750882

NicholasBohm, to random

@neil

I was very high-tech at Uni: I had a portable typewriter.

1962 - 1965

Mactonex,
@Mactonex@toot.community avatar

@steve @NicholasBohm @neil Back when you were at school, you weren’t crap at art, you were in an environment that didn’t understand how to foster creativity. Your art teacher shouldn’t have been allowed anywhere near children.

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