Susan60

Susan60, 4 days ago to actuallyautistic

My oldest sent me this. My head just exploded. The first draft of my first 3000 word essay in uni was 8000 words long.

My history essays at uni were labours of love. I could never understand the concept of “pulling an all-nighter” the night before the essay was due. How was such a thing even possible? You had to do hours & hours of reading, note-taking, reflection…
And then write & write & write all that stuff that begged to be said, and then cull & cull & cull & then rewrite to knit the remaining pieces together fluently… And somehow end up with a piece that sent shivers down your spine & got you an HD.

Didn’t you? Or was that just me?

When teaching narrative writing to teens, I could only teach it in a formulaic way. I could only write formulaic model texts. They were quite good, with some character development, voice, interesting vocab etc, but the structure was formulaic.

I could never imagine myself as a writing a novel. Quirky short pieces maybe, but not a novel. And yet my oldest wrote their first novella as a teen.

I need to lie down. Oh, I am. It’s 5am and my cat adoption excitement has woken me. I’m discombobulated. Again.

#actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

https://autisticphd.com/theblog/what-is-bottom-up-thinking-in-autism/

Susan60, 5 days ago to random

I don’t understand why remote communities haven’t already been switched to renewable local grids & batteries.

Albanese government ‘twisted’ Indigenous group’s views in document, chair says https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/article/2024/may/10/albanese-government-twisted-indigenous-groups-views-in-future-gas-document-chair-says?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Susan60, 5 days ago to actuallyautistic

I’ve always been a “coper”, constantly trying to find ways to manage, to do what “needs” to be done etc, except for those periods when I was burnt out. I remember when feeling overwhelmed years ago, a counsellor helped me to see that it was possible to achieve everything that I needed to do over the next few days, as a single mum, students, part time worker. Which was great in the short term…

We got home from several days in Sydney yesterday. Monday & Tuesday we went out after spending the weekend with family, but kept it low key. Today I was supposed to head out for a counselling appointment, treating myself to a tram trip to a lovely neighbourhood & a cafe lunch afterwards. Instead she’s going to send me a link for an online session. And I might have a nap afterwards. I’m learning. Slowly.
@actuallyautistic

Susan60, 7 days ago to random

20 deg C I the gardens. Was drizzling an hour ago.

Susan60, 11 days ago to actuallyautistic

My thoughts exactly. The private school I worked in was better (& expensive!) but only because the atmosphere was generally calmer, & kids less inclined to bully. (I think this is often due to generally lower levels of finance related family stress & angst, not because more privileged kids are in any way “nicer”.) Some autistic kids have higher levels of tolerance (I’m an example) but that doesn’t mean that they’re doing better than merely “coping”.

And if we start “streaming” autistic kids for their “suitability” for mainstream schools, we could end up with a distinction between “high functioning” kids who are simple better at coping & masking but not necessarily any “smarter”, & those with greater sensory needs, some of whom might thrive in smaller, quieter classes &/or with more support. @actuallyautistic

To the parents of school-aged children with disabilities: it’s not your fault https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/commentisfree/article/2024/may/03/australian-schools-education-system-children-with-disability-support-ndis-review?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Susan60, 11 days ago to random

Off to Sydney today. Lots of Jetstar reminders about our 12.25 flight. Get to departure gate - hour delay. 😡

Susan60, 19 days ago to actuallyautistic

What do people read?

I was an avid reader of fiction when I was a child. Novels about challenging issues or strange fantasy worlds. In many ways reading was an escape to a safe place, but those books were also places where I could learn about how “people” worked. How they thought, felt & behaved. The diversity in those things.

I loved The Little Princess and The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett, because they were about children who were different & how they coped. I loved The Chronicles of Narnia because, although quite dated now, the girls had real adventures alongside their brothers. There was a series of books about witches, good & bad, which I loved but can’t remember the titles or author.

I loved Ivan Southall’s books, where tweens & teens faced dangers, often without the support of adults. (Marsden’s Tomorrow when the War Began is reminiscent of Southall.)

And as an adult, I still like youth & YA fiction, probably for the same reason, because I’m still learning how humans work. I also like adult fiction, but the naivety of youth fiction appeals.

And TBO, I read much more non-fiction than fiction nowadays. Obviously there’s the Autism & ADHD stuff that is currently dominating my reading, but also social commentaries of all sorts, by feminists, sociologists, etc.

@actuallyautistic

Susan60, 20 days ago to actuallyautistic

I’m listening to a podcast on perfectionism. I don’t think I’ve ever been a perfectionist, but there’s definitely been elements of perfectionism in aspects of my behaviour. It was one thing I battled against as a teacher. I never told my students that I always expected them to do “their best” or try their “hardest” with every assessment task. I would simply encourage & support them to build on their learning & make improvements, to show progress of some sort.

I remember speaking to one mother ( & looking back, the student might’ve been autistic), & saying that even if they were capable of doing very well in all subjects, I didn’t think it was realistic. They excelled in the subjects they loved, & merely did well (very well) in the rest. (Sadly, including the subjects I taught. 🫤) And that was ok. It was more than ok.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

Susan60, 22 days ago to actuallyautistic

Big day today. Back treatment this morning (bliss), but an MRI this afternoon. Only 10minutes thankfully. Was exhausted afterwards, & partner left me to sleep on the couch while he went upstairs to read. Only a checkup, the first for years, after brain surgery years ago.

I used to stoically go through everything & pretend everything was fine, which we sometimes have to do (if we can, & I realise some can’t) but being able to come home & crash without pretending that I was fine was nice.

@actuallyautistic

Susan60, 23 days ago to actuallyautistic

I’ve never done this before, laid out all of my Polish ceramics, grouped according to their various patterns. I wanted to see what I have, so I know which lives to buy next. My partner, haphazard about most things, would find this odd, but it’s given me enormous pleasure.

My partner & I started with a few mugs years ago, & have gradually added to the collection over the years. It is hard wearing and we use it every day. A dear friend gifted me with the baking & serving dishes for my 60th. (Embarrassingly extravagant.)

I think that allowing myself to do this is part of my unmasking, to myself.
#actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

Susan60, 24 days ago to actuallyautistic

I can’t remover who recommended this lecture, but whoever you are, thank you! #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnU01HBN6zg

Susan60, 24 days ago to random

😢

Western Australia’s eucalypt forests fade to brown as century-old giant jarrahs die in heat and drought https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/apr/20/western-australias-eucalypt-forests-fade-to-brown-as-century-old-giant-jarrahs-die-in-heat-and-drought?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Susan60, 29 days ago to random

An autistic woman sees a news item on TV about the awful events at Bondi Junction yesterday. She sees the floral tributes, and wishes that such tributes weren’t wrapped in plastic, tied with ribbons etc, because then, when it was time, they could be swept up & composted.

That sounds totally lacking in empathy right? Why else would she be thinking about such trivial details?

I’ll tell you why. It’s because she is so distressed by the event, the fear suffered by victims at the time & since by those who survived & others who witnessed it, the loss of innocence experienced by those who have never before been so close to such an awful event, the grief suffered by those who have lost loved ones, that focussing on a practical, logistical issue is a way for her to avoid being overwhelmed by such feelings.

The next time anyone tells you that autistic people aren’t empathetic, tell them that empathy isn’t about how people look or behave, it’s about how they feel. Some autistic people are very much out of touch with their feelings, & find them very difficult to identify & articulate. Their feelings are buried very deeply within them. Some are hyper-sensitive to the suffering of others, which might be seen as being overly dramatic & making an event all about them. And the others are somewhere in between.

The fact that a person doesn’t express their feelings, or express them the way you might expect, does not mean that those feelings aren’t there.
#actuallyautistic #empathy

Susan60, 1 month ago to random

How do you “curate” your feed? I follow most followers, but that can result in quite a lot of stuff that doesn’t interest me, or an excess of US politics which does interest me, but only up to a point.

OTOH I don’t like to block or mute someone unless I find their posts offensive or hugely irrelevant to my interests. I have created a favourites list, but laziness means I’m sometimes slow to add people to that list, aggravated by the fact that I don’t bother to look at my “home” feed very often.

I love being on a platform that is free of algorithms, but there are drawbacks. At this point I must confess that I’m pretty slack about using hashtags. And I’m not into digitech. I use it to communicate, learn etc, but I like it to be intuitive & not require me to think too much about the mechanics involved.

Susan60, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

The attacks on aid workers in Gaza should not surprise us. And I wonder why some people are more outraged by the deaths of these workers than the deaths of innocent civilians including babies. Am I being particularly autistic here? @actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

Susan60, 1 month ago to random

Partner’s ex is morning the loss of a friend, who died unexpectedly after a respiratory illness. He’d had lung issues since getting Covid, making him more vulnerable.

Susan60, 1 month ago to random

Shorten got it right in 2019, but the electorate weren’t smart enough to see it & fell for the LNP’s fear tactics instead.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-03-25/australia-housing-crisis-political-battle-federal-election-issue/103625554?utm_source=abc_news_app&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_campaign=abc_news_app&utm_content=other

Susan60, 1 month ago to ADHD

As a teacher, I know that windy days result in “unsettled” students. Years ago I met a guy on a blind date at a seaside location for a coffee, on a very windy day. I think he found me to be “a bit much”. 😁 #ADHD #AuADHD @actuallyautistic

Susan60, 2 months ago to ADHD

I just had my 2nd session since realising my autism, the 1st since 5 weeks with my partner with his family. So mainly a catch-up & info dump. Will clarify goals next time.

In the past therapy has been about me info dumping & them validating, helping me to clarify & a few strategies, but I struggled with clear goals.

I feel so much clearer now.

Previous therapy focussed on the impact of external traumas, the loss of loved ones, sexual assault, divorce etc, but ignored my internal pan that wasn’t explained by those traumas. I learned a lot that was useful, but so much was left unexplained. I was still in survival mode.

She reflects back & asks questions to confirm, clarify & express her understanding, & her very expressive face helps with that. I used to feel that I must look the therapist in the eye for the whole session, but I now allow myself to look out the window.

The waiting room is dim lights, soft music…

I used to feel that I had to work hard to convince the therapist, to get them on board with me, to understand, & maybe to like me so they’d be motivated to really work with me.

I think that having a somewhat better understanding of myself means I’m much clearer about boundaries, & that helps soooo much.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #ADHD

Susan60, 2 months ago to random

A friend of mine was at a folk festival on the weekend. (Can’t think of anything worse myself, but she enjoyed it.) Had a lovely time until her companion, who’d recently had knee surgery, asked someone to move their chair a few inches. They initially refused & when asked again, asked my friend’s companion if she was Jewish. She was flabbergasted, asked why, & was told to forget it. (She is, & along with my friend, is horrified & disgusted by the actions of Israel against Palestinians. I might’ve responded, “Why? Are you anti-Semitic?)

Susan60, 2 months ago to ADHD

I forget who drew my attention to this, but thank you! It’s very long, so I suggest you stop at each break, (a chapter heading is displayed) & consider whether you want to come back to it later. I’d prefer it to be broken into several videos because it would be useful to share with allistic people, but I don’t expect them to watch a video thats over an hour long. @actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #ADHD

https://youtu.be/WA9B4_e6sS0?si=6djOdxA4lOru4XxR

Susan60, 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

“Gone are the offensive & misguided attempts to cure the condition”? That might be too sunny a statement, but otherwise it’s an encouraging article.
#actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic

How research into autism is evolving https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/08/research-autism-evolving-transforming-lives-social-communication-therapy-drugs-trials?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Susan60, 2 months ago to random

Tired of the doom-scroll? This is how to find the kinder, more uplifting side of the internet https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/04/doom-scroll-kinder-uplifting-internet?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Susan60, 2 months ago to random

Someone wanted to see photos of bumblebees. Can’t remember who I’m afraid. The last photo is of a baby one, about 1.5 times as big as a honey bee. The first 2 photos are a big adult, about 3-4 times as big as a honey bee.

A bumblebee on a purple flower with green leaves in the background.
A bumblebee on a purple flower with green leaves.

Susan60, 2 months ago to actuallyautistic

I can sometimes be slow to notice the elephant in the room & the eggshells on the floor (the problem that everyone carefully denies and manages so as not to upset anyone), but once I do notice, I want to confront and solve it.

The problem in this instance is my MIL’s insistence that she & FIL continue to live in a house too large to manage on an acre of rambling garden in an isolated location at the top of a narrow windy road.

Of course solving such a thing is not always possible, & if I’m not the main person affected, the person doing their best to support & manage the situation, it’s not my problem. Attempting to solve it might just make the situation worse for that person & leave others feeling judged & hurt.

It’s a boundary issue, & one I struggle with.

@actuallyautistic