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jackdaw_ruiz

@jackdaw_ruiz@normal.style

he/him.

crumbs and carrots, the stone is doomed!

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jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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all opinions i have about professional basketball teams are completely ossified around rosters from the 1993 and 1994 arcade releases of NBA Jam

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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time to celebrate memorial day the old fashioned way... watching Madame Web.

jackdaw_ruiz,
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god damn two seconds into this movie there is a spider web, we are not fucking around

jackdaw_ruiz,
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I dunno where to start. like five different baffling things have happened so far. each time I start typing a riff on one a weirder thing has happened.

jackdaw_ruiz,
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fuck yeah. New York in 2003. Yeah Yeah Yeahs music. Blockbuster Video in the background. the residual psychic toll of 9/11 (not filmed but probably implied in the tension).

jackdaw_ruiz,
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there is a particular way that people banter over eating cartons of Chinese food that only occurs in movies. you know exactly what I mean, right? the gesticulating at each other with chopsticks? it may as well be stock photos of women laughing with salad.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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the mad max movies tell the story of a beautiful future where you can actually repair the technology you rely on.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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when I was a young child the cold war was still very much a thing and let me tell you how disappointing it was to learn that the iron curtain was not a literal thing because it sure sounded incredibly cool.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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one of those TV shows where they have a judge hear small claims cases, but instead of an old person like Judge Judy or Judge Wapner, it's a zoomer with neopronouns. it's called "Tough but Faer."

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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frankly at this point I am ready to retire and transition into becoming one of those serene old men that walks very slowly around a neighborhood with his hands clasped behind his back at all hours of the day.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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I'm so glad that people are popping off on Twitter are popping off in response to that post like "if you're coming of age in current day politics please understand that up until a few years ago things used to be normal," or however they phrase that donkey brained supposition.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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the world really took a turn for the worse when Sábado Gigante went off the air.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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periodic reminder the Oregon Zoo has a beaver named Filbert that the let carry sticks and shit through the offices and they post videos calling him "the branch manager."

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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i wanted to make one:

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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just a heads up, Dr. Butto in Star Wars in an osteopath. and like I know people see DOs as their primary care physician just pointing out he's not an MD. do with that what you will.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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fucked up that the Star Wars hotel closed before they could get to the Slurpy Faggi plotline.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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it's uhhh weird how much my prior experience of working the door at adult establishments has been coming into play at the office these past couple weeks.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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I don't eat steak OR own any Damien Hirst pieces. I hope this post reaches you because cell reception is spotty all the way up here on my high horse.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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Did You Know:

Blade Runner is a forward thinking and prescient analysis of the transvestigation phenomenon, working within the permissible idiom of 80's hollywood.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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30,000+ people losing power because of a fucking beaver gnawing on shit is the most Oregon ass news

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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native english speakers don't clock how difficult a language it can be until you ask them to do something like conjugate the verb awooga.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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withnail and i memes? on my tl? uk posters are on one.

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
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i might get a new cell phone soon and the options are just so dismal.

jackdaw_ruiz,
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what if i get a pixel 8 and install graphene os?

[puts fingers to my head and tries to recall which open source and security-minded tech platforms are run by weirdo nazis, and which ones are just weirdos.]

jackdaw_ruiz,
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okay graphene os appears to be the mobile operating system for criminals that need digital assistance. that might be overkill for me because i can just talk my way out of crimes.

as a reminder you should never talk to law enforcement. but it's okay if i do because i can talk my way out of crimes.

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