kulturhack

kulturhack, 6 months ago to random

I’m the one who suddenly turned out the light in last 10 seconds of the Sopranos series finale.

I was on the way to the the men’s room, and the hallway was really dark, and there was this switch…

#FalseConfessions

kulturhack, 7 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to random

“I’ll let you in on a secret.

Before my carefully cultivated image of being the world’s most friendly ghost, I took horrifying and gory revenge on the guy who murdered me. Full-bore Tarantino if I’m honest.

What?? Did you think I was born a ghost?”

#CasperTheGhostQuotes

kulturhack, 6 months ago to random

Low -hanhging fruit first:

“It was twenty years ago today
When Sgt Pepoer taught the band to play…”

—The Beatles
“A Little Help From My Friends”

(No change needed—Marcel Duchamp calls this kind of thing a “readymade.”)

#AnniversaryASong

kulturhack, 9 months ago to random

Prior to 2016, I always just assumed that people were basically smart.

Won’t get fooled again. Ever.

#IHaveAlwaysJustAssumedThat

kulturhack, 4 months ago to random

John Mastodon saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, but had the good sense and manners to put the photographic proof behind a content warning.

#JohnMastodonHolidayFacts

kulturhack, 8 months ago to random

Bennies (And The Jets)

—Elton John

#MedicateASong

kulturhack, 7 months ago to random

The Gums Of Navarone

—Alistair MacLean

#DentalABook

kulturhack, 9 months ago to random

Actual confession: As a kid, I always just assumed Groucho Marx’s greasepaint mustache was real.

I am not proud of this.

#IHaveAlwaysJustAssumedThat

kulturhack, 7 months ago to random

“No one knows who killed the chauffeur in The Big Sleep—not even Raymond Chandler.”

#AdviceFromTheGreatPumpkin

kulturhack, 5 months ago to random

“The greatest trick Santa Claus ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

Season’s Greetings,
Keyser Söze”

#ChristmasCardsFromFictionalCharacters

kulturhack, 8 months ago to random

“Can I see your vegan entrees?”

—Hannibal Lecter

#GiveACharacterDifferentManners

kulturhack, 6 months ago to random

A Hard Day’s Night At The Telethon

—Richard Lester / The Beatles

#MakeAMovieAboutVolunteering

kulturhack, 9 months ago to random

Literally anything Martin Luther King ever said that is quoted by any Republican should be de facto understood as wildly out of context.

#OutOfContextQuotes

kulturhack, 6 months ago to random

“Like Gravy Out Of Hell”

—Meat Loaf

#ThanksGivingRecipeASong

kulturhack, 8 months ago to random

Dammit, Agent Kujan—do I have to spell this out you? HE’S KEYSER SOZE!

For god’s sake, pay attention.

#GiveAFictionalCharacterAdvice

kulturhack, 8 months ago to random

Bruce, I hate to break this to you, but we all know the muscles are molded in your costume. You know how you always know when a guy’s dyeing his beard? That’s ptretty much your Bat suit’s six-pack and biceps.

#GiveAFictionalCharacterAdvice

kulturhack, 6 months ago to random

It means Dorothy can take her time and really center herself on the way to melt the Wicked Witch.

#HowToUseAnExtraHour

kulturhack, 5 months ago to random

“Apprentice Kane”

—Orson Welles

#BlueCollarAMovie

kulturhack, 6 months ago (edited 6 months ago) to random

Growing out the rest of my beard to stubble, wearing an antique rock tee shirt under a blazer, carrying a cane and snarling “It’s never lupus!” at trick-or-treaters who are way too young to know who Gregory House is.

#HalloweenCostumeFails

kulturhack, 8 months ago to random

“Whatever you do, don’t get yourself dented. Every can I’ve ever known suddenly disappeared after that injury…

And I’ve something horrifying—that they’ve actually been incarcerated in a quick-sale shopping cart.

After that, well, I just won’t say.”

#GroceryStoreRumors

kulturhack, 8 months ago to random

“As much as I am disappointed about the result, I want to congratulate Joe Biden on his victory. We were worthy opponents and the best man won.

I also want to thank my family for their support. I love you, Melania!”

#GiveACharacterDifferentManners

kulturhack, 6 months ago to random

“Okay, everbody, listen up—this is important.

The deal we struck with the realtor is that we do nothing—as in nothing—until the sale of the house.

Then we pour it on until the new owners move. And then we do it all over again.

In return, we split the realtor’s commission every time.”

#OverHeardInTheHauntedHouse

kulturhack, 3 months ago to random

“West End Urchins”

—Pet Shop Boys

#CharlesDickensASong

kulturhack, 5 months ago to random

“Merry Christmas from both of us,
Norman Bates and Mother”

#ChristmasCardsFromFictionalCharacters

kulturhack, 1 month ago to random

Arizona:

“Hey wait a minute! They’re sayin’ that Flordia has white theofascist government??

Here, hold my beer—total biological enslavement of women comin’ right up!”