@MostlyHarmless@thecanadian.social
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MostlyHarmless

@MostlyHarmless@thecanadian.social

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

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MostlyHarmless, to random
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You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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Took some grease off my pizza today with a napkin. So if you see me looking skinny tomorrow don’t be alarmed.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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HOTELS: Welcome to your home away from home. This is a place to relax, unwind and take it easy.
ALSO HOTELS: We stop serving breakfast at sunrise.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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These darn millennials...Walking around like they rent the place.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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"We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes" actually means "We are experiencing normal call volumes and our management is too cheap to hire more minions.”

MostlyHarmless, to random
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Just another cop beating a Black man.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I honestly thought you already knew.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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I don’t want to party like it’s 1999; I want to grocery-shop like it’s 1999.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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Tried to switch seats on the plane because I was stuck next to a crying baby. Apparently that's not allowed when the kid is your own.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
@MostlyHarmless@thecanadian.social avatar
MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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Congratulations to drugs for winning the war on drugs.

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