@RickiTarr There is a "fill in the blanks to make the story make sense" aspect to it that is pretty interesting to see. It really isn't lying, as most people understand it. They genuinely don't realize they're just making stuff up. Craziest Mad Libs ever.
I recommend this one, and any/all of his other books as well. Especially his autobiography. Did pretty well for himself, despite an amphetamine habit for a while.
@RickiTarr I was in a band with a guy like that back in the 90s. He lied about everything, big or small. I see now that he's one of those right wing professional liars who posts videos about CIA conspiracies and such. I do wonder if he's aware of his problem.
@RickiTarr someone I know tells stories about their childhood, stories that have the plots of books we read as kids. Their real childhood was pretty traumatic, so I don’t have the heart to tell them “uh, that didn’t happen, that’s the plot of Encyclopedia Brown book 22”
@RickiTarr Years ago I dated a girl who lied constantly, but didn't think that. She had a therapist have her keep a journal in which she wrote down every single time she told an untruth for any reason whatsoever, and she discovered that she did, in fact, lie constantly. But she had to keep a record to realize it.
@RickiTarr Yeah. She did understand that she lied, and believed lies were okay if they spared someone's feelings or got her out of trouble, but she didn't realize that she told several lies an hour. It caused some self examination.
@RickiTarr Apparently enough people have because when such a character is cast in an entertainment program, they're recognized. Eg Eddie Haskell in Leave It To Beaver, and Jon Lovitz' liar character in SNL, to name just a couple.
Some people are really good at creating a social illusion. Near the end of my career things went south when they hired a direct section manager who had promised the impossible and lied her way to execs into the job.
The guy that hired her was new and not much better and so it took three years to get rid of her.
She’d talk 110 miles an hour in technobabble and if you didn’t know your business, she sounded fairly legitimate.
@RickiTarr My mom had to maintain her image her whole life which is understandable her father was chairman of the board of supervisors of LA county for 9terms.
Thing was it didn't work well for her especially in her first marriage which she left after four kids to marry the second Lebanese guy in the parish.
Huge scandal
He was one of the first litigation consultants, massaging truth, to help lawyers lie better.
So it was a perfect storm him massaging her image both convinced of its truth
@RickiTarr My mother would make up stories sometimes. She made up a whopper at my wedding, that I would cheer on my younger brothers at their swim meets, and say "you're not drowning, you're winning!" Some of my friends said "That's Joe!" because something like that wouldn't have been totally out of character for me, but it was completely made up, I was never at any of their swim meets. She was a kind woman, but she liked a good story.
@RickiTarr The people I've known who lie a lot tend to do it to 1) ease a situation 2) make themselves sound good, or 3) make the story more interesting. The third group can be interesting - because they're like telling stories, they tell them until they believe they're true.
I have one friend in the 3rd category who you would think was just lying because her stories are insane, but so much of what she says turns out to be true that her craziest stories are only slight exaggerations!
@RickiTarr Yes, my older sibling. Will say utter flat lies with a totally straight face, and I suspect often (usually? maybe...) doesn't recognize that it's a lie. It's needed to save face or CYA, so it IS true the moment it is said.
@RickiTarr Two such people. The 1st ... just consistently redefines his reality. It's really quite stunning to listen to him tell about a shared experience - which never happened - and know that there is absolutely no point in telling him it's fiction.
The 2nd lied to herself so consistently that the effects were much, much more subtle and hard to winnow out until someone made her mad - and then you could watch the narrative shift to lies meant to protect her own ego.
Both were disorienting.
@RickiTarr Yep. Years ago, a female colleague at a local college. Great verisimilitude. Took a while to realize what was happening. Compulsive liar. Creepy, sad, and disappointing.
@RickiTarr my experience mostly men, white men .
But sometimes women too.
Just make shit up to be interesting .
Just like William Randolph Hearst
In their own private universe .
And this is also the basic state of NPDs. Same radio as above .
@RickiTarr I had one coworker who was compelled to one-up any anecdote related by anyone. She was always telling absurd, exaggerated stories. I think she wanted to feel important and it was a reflexive thing… and that she thought it was a normal way to interact with people, despite a generally negative reaction.
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