@CaptAntagonist@beige.party
@CaptAntagonist@beige.party avatar

CaptAntagonist

@CaptAntagonist@beige.party

This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.

Former orange video game boy

If you wanna read my brain droppings: https://justmytoots.com/CaptAntagonist@beige.party

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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People who say age is just a number are wrong

Age is a word

CaptAntagonist, to random
@CaptAntagonist@beige.party avatar

will.i.am
will.you.are
will.he.is
will.we.are
will.they.are
will.i.will.be

The Conjugated Peas

CaptAntagonist, to random
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I'd pick the bear because at least it wouldn't try to talk to me

RickiTarr, to random
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You are going to make love to a Cereal Mascot, who do you choose?

I'm going Snap, Crackle, & Pop.

CaptAntagonist,
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@RickiTarr

I researched* cereal mascots to find the most obscure one possible. So anyway, Sunny Jim here. Just look at him, his cereal is clearly very safe to eat and not radioactive and/or toxic.

*Did a quick Google search

CaptAntagonist, to random
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Prayer density is equal to mass divided by thought volume

CaptAntagonist, to random
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What a wonderful day to forget about my mind reading powers that I definitely have.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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I never saw a bumpersticker and thought "Wow, I'm glad I read that

CaptAntagonist, to random
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If cash is king then cryptocurrency is the court jester.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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My milkshake exists in a plane of higher existence, silently judging all humanity waiting for the final days.

RickiTarr, to random
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If people would just send me pictures of their homemade bread, I would both appreciate it, and be full of bread lust.

CaptAntagonist,
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@RickiTarr

Well it IS a picture and there IS bread in the picture so you can't legally complain

CaptAntagonist, to random
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I looked up the definition of clickbait

You won't believe what happens next!

CaptAntagonist, to random
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The Civil War happened because Iron Man wanted slaves and Captain America didn't, everyone knows that.

RickiTarr, to random
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I've decided what I want to be when I grow up.

CaptAntagonist,
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@RickiTarr

I wanna be the mushroom plate

CaptAntagonist, to random
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If you can't handle me at my chanting in tongues, then you don't deserve me at my nilgh'ri lw'nafh ephaiah llll mgepah'mgehye mgepogor ehye.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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People who live in glass houses shouldn't

CaptAntagonist, to random
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If you're a zombie who wants to stay in shape you need to do deadlifts.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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My doctor said I had a vitamin E deficiency, so I ate a dolphin.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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It's pretty weird that Scientology is a religion, I mean the guy just wrote a book filled with made up stuff!

CaptAntagonist, to random
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"I don't know what words mean" she effervesced incongruently.

"Neither does the guy writing this" he bamboozled serpentiningly.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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Mom Godzilla calls Godzilla during the morning
Mom Godzilla: Are you eating your cities? Belfast is the most important meal of the day.

CaptAntagonist, to random
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They make stress balls but not anxiety boobs

CaptAntagonist, to random
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Donut is spelled that way as an instruction for what to do with the hole

CaptAntagonist, to random
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Genie: You have three wishes

Me: Okay I wish for seven dragonballs

Genie: Your wish of seven dragon testicles has been granted. Maybe you should have been more specific.

Me: Eating More specific about what?

RickiTarr, to random
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I'm trying to come up with something witty to say about this sign in a Bible Book Store window, but I think it speaks for itself.

CaptAntagonist,
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@RickiTarr

Signs are inanimate objects and are thus incapable of speech, hope that helps.

Praise Christ

RickiTarr, to random
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My Similes are so good like a simile that is so good.

CaptAntagonist,
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@RickiTarr

TEEN GIRL SQUAD!

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