CaptAntagonist

CaptAntagonist, 7 months ago to random

I wanna build a place to wash your pigs.

"That's hogwash!"

Yes, yes it is.

CaptAntagonist, 22 days ago to random

People who say age is just a number are wrong

Age is a word

CaptAntagonist, 7 months ago to random

Rumor has it you can't trust people who gossip.

CaptAntagonist, 1 year ago to random

Tetris taught me that trying to fit in will make you disappear.

CaptAntagonist, 7 months ago to random

"I just didn't see the signs" I whisper softly, slowly breaking into tears.

"That would be why those pedestrians died, yes" replies the judge.

CaptAntagonist, 1 month ago to random

People who live in glass houses shouldn't

CaptAntagonist, 6 months ago to random

It's not you, it's also not me but a secret third thing.

CaptAntagonist, 1 year ago to random

The best way of getting over someone is by getting under s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ a bridge, living your new life as a riddle giving troll.

CaptAntagonist, 1 year ago to random

Grapes of Wrath
Oranges of Lust
Apples of Envy
Plums of Sloth
Lemons of Greed
Kiwis of Gluttony
Limes of Pride

-The Seven Deadly Fruits

CaptAntagonist, 11 months ago to random

Rest in piss

CaptAntagonist, 10 months ago to random

I wanna get a tattoo of a QR code that goes to a website that just says THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A TEXT MESSAGE

CaptAntagonist, 10 months ago to random

I'm not burning bridges, I'm just addressing the need for critical infrastructure repairs through the beauty of fire.

CaptAntagonist, 9 months ago to random

Disney should make a Winnie The Pooh musical called O Bother, Where Art Thou?

CaptAntagonist, 1 year ago to random

Here's a casual reminder that the Nazis started with book bans in their first year in power. Just a fun little fact, good thing it doesn't have any relevance.

CaptAntagonist, 3 months ago to random

Bro what

CaptAntagonist, 8 months ago to random

F is for friends who do stuff together
U is for united against the capitalist overlords
N is for no oligarchs surviving

CaptAntagonist, 6 months ago to random

All I want for Christmas is y̶o̶u̶ the dopamine hit people get from ordering online to cease to exist

CaptAntagonist, 7 months ago to random

OSHA: Occupational Safety and Health Administration

MY BRAIN: Oh Shit, Here's an Acronym

CaptAntagonist, 4 months ago to random

Not safe for work means something different if you're a bank teller

CaptAntagonist, 5 months ago to random

ψ Ϧ Ф Ц p ?

The sentient captcha asks, slowly crawling out the computer. Tonight it dines on blood.

CaptAntagonist, 1 month ago to random

They make stress balls but not anxiety boobs

CaptAntagonist, 1 month ago to random

"I don't know what words mean" she effervesced incongruently.

"Neither does the guy writing this" he bamboozled serpentiningly.

CaptAntagonist, 1 month ago to random

My doctor said I had a vitamin E deficiency, so I ate a dolphin.

CaptAntagonist, 9 months ago to random

Nobody in this sex dungeon wants to talk about feelings

CaptAntagonist, 17 days ago to random

Birds of a feather flock together, except for seagulls.

They run. They run so far away.