JonBaker

JonBaker, 7 days ago to random

Everybody wants to go to Funkytown, but nobody wants to pay Funkytaxes

JonBaker, 7 days ago to random

[commercial]

The Universe is a force of unrelenting entropy and chaos

Everything you love and everything you are will one day be ruthlessly dismantled

There is no escape, but you CAN delay the inevitable. For your leftovers at least.

Tupperware™: Your Fate Is Sealed

JonBaker, 11 days ago to random

“It’s too early for this shit”

• Me, at literally every point in time, regardless of how early or late it is for any of this shit

JonBaker, 10 days ago to random

Spring forward
Fall back
Dodge to your left
Slide to the right
Cha cha real smooth

JonBaker, 10 days ago to random

IDEA: A modded Sega console in the shape of a mech with heavy RGB lighting effects

Neon Genesis Evangelion

JonBaker, 11 days ago to DoctorWho

So if the 14th Doctor is just chilling and healing and working on himself when the 15th is doing the Doctor Things

It’s possible 14 goes through one or more regenerations before becoming 15

I want to believe The Doctor becoming this guy is part of that journey #doctorwho

JonBaker, 14 days ago to random

Kinda fucked up I haven’t felt refreshed or recharged from a single weekend for like a decade

JonBaker, 15 days ago to random

If you stop the song Billie Jean a little before the halfway point it becomes Billie Jort

JonBaker, 16 days ago to random

I guess I just wanna see Florence & The Machine fight against Rage Against The Machine in a cage match

JonBaker, 17 days ago to random

FUN FACT: I am just a handful of coping mechanisms stacked on top of each other in a trenchcoat trying to pass as a functioning adult

JonBaker, 17 days ago to random

On the plus side, Trump got all the holes punched on his felony rewards card so he can get a free misdemeanor on his next visit to the courthouse

JonBaker, 18 days ago to random

The forever struggle

JonBaker, 19 days ago to random

A lone swordsman roaming the countryside mastering his fighting techniques and challenging dojos for their honor, but it’s just me going from Waffle House to Waffle House in like Florida

JonBaker, 21 days ago to random

GOOGLE 2004: Don’t be evil

GOOGLE 2024: Don’t be useful

JonBaker, 20 days ago to random

Actually, Frankenstein was the name of the doctor: Dr. Frankenstein

Frankenstein’s Monster was the nickname he gave his penis

JonBaker, 25 days ago to random

ME: Here’s the number

BOSS: I don’t like the number

ME: well, based on all info I’m seeing it’s the best number we got

BOSS: Isn’t it possible the number will be higher in the future?

ME: Sure, it’s also possible I get hit by a car

BOSS: How likely is that?

ME: Increasingly

JonBaker, 28 days ago to random

I can’t remember how a boomerang works but it’s coming back to me

JonBaker, 28 days ago to random

I didn’t know Boeing made roller coasters

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

GENIE: You have 3 wishes

ME: I want you to yeet Neptune out of the solar system

GENIE: what

ME: I don’t care where, just get it the fuck outta here

GENIE: Ok but why

ME: Gonna freak the fuck out of some scientists

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

Shakespeare’s Hamlet implies the existence of a larger, more mature Shakespeare’s Ham

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

You fucking look me in the eye and tell me Rocky Balboa isn’t a stand user

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

Please don’t ever give me a houseplant I can barely keep myself alive most days

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

Whole lotta trainfuckers ‘round these parts

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

Sure, fuck it, drug us at this point

JonBaker, 1 month ago to random

Do you think there’s an alternate universe where sumo wrestlers get into the ring and have a beyblade battle, only they are the beyblades? Like they just start spinning and shit?