@MostlyHarmless@thecanadian.social
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MostlyHarmless

@MostlyHarmless@thecanadian.social

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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I don’t want to party like it’s 1999; I want to grocery-shop like it’s 1999.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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Tried to switch seats on the plane because I was stuck next to a crying baby. Apparently that's not allowed when the kid is your own.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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Congratulations to drugs for winning the war on drugs.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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It’s time to stop making the same old mistakes in my life. Gonna get creative and make some new ones.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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Only 273 Roll-Ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?

MostlyHarmless, to random
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Whoever wrote this headline is not paid enough.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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The only right way to Slash a colleague's tires.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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I’m so in debt I could start a government.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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My parents never allowed us to play violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a lead pipe?”

MostlyHarmless, to random
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When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I just sleep in til noon. Because I’m a problem-solver.

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions. Like, "Whose blood is this?", and "Where did you get it?"

MostlyHarmless, to random
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MostlyHarmless, to random
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Some people are like Slinky toys… not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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