@TheJen@beige.party
@TheJen@beige.party avatar

TheJen

@TheJen@beige.party

Alt account is https://mastodon.social/@JenWojcik
On Fedi since 2018

Kicked off Twitter for telling Elon to choke on a bag of dicks.

New Mexican. Ex Texan. Redhead. Opinionated. Salty. Sarcastic. Uses "fuck" A LOT. Mom. Cat concierge. GSD named Zelda Fitzgerald. Brother fighting in Ukraine. Kiddo in college.

She/her. Always they/them

Breeds weed and grows shrooms in the Rio Grande Valley in #NewMexico.
headed back to school for a degree in genetics. Trying not to die in my sleep #CPAP #SleepApnea

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

GrimmReality, (edited ) to random
@GrimmReality@beige.party avatar

Whenever a video game franchise gets rebooted/adapted for any kind of mass medium - as may happen with the new Fallout tv series - some people go back and play the games again, and, if you are one of those and you haven't tried Fallout 4 with the Sim Settlements 2 mod and you kind of liked Fallout 4 but want it to be a vastly better and even EPIC game? I'm no Inside-Baseball-level gamernerd but HOLY SHIT TRY FALLOUT 4 WITH SIM SETTLEMENTS 2.

They just wrapped it with the Chapter 3 release last fall and it makes it a whole new game, like both on a society-rebuilding level and on a fucking-up-post-apocalyptic-Nazis level. And if you LIKE to fuck up post apocalyptic Nazis - and honestly who doesn't? - man, you have some fun in store.
https://simsettlements2.com/

TheJen,
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@GrimmReality Wut. I have never heard of this. And frankly, New Vegas kind of sucked.

TheJen,
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@GrimmReality I haven't. Pretty wild because I do keep up with gaming news. Felicia Day always makes me smile. We knew each other back in the day. Very sweet gal.

TheJen,
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@GrimmReality Lol. We weren't friends, just acquaintances. ;)

TheJen,
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@GrimmReality Maybe if we beg, we can get these folks to finish Half Life. Heh.

TheJen,
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@GrimmReality But yeah, I will. Been itching to play something, but bored with Sniper Elite and Prey, which is what I've been playing lately. Gears of War is another go-to. I play through the entire franchise about once a year.

TheJen,
@TheJen@beige.party avatar

@GrimmReality I love world builder games, but really never played SIMS. Not sure why, was busy with other things. So this will be all new to me. :)

I'll figure it out, but thanks for the tips. :)

TheJen, to random
@TheJen@beige.party avatar

We probably all need to start going to city council and county commission meetings and start asking hard questions about the security of the utility infrastructure under their control.

Dollars to donuts NONE of them have even the foggiest idea what a Chinese or Russian hack would look like.

As a result, we will all be DIRECTLY impacted.

I think it's time for the computer nerds of the world to step the fuck up and help out in the real world.

lzg, to random
@lzg@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    @lzg That's Gwendolyn Christie, pretty sure. That is also a very big shirt.

    TheJen, to random
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    Well, I think I have mostly moved everything important off Gmail, so it's probably time to kill the account entirely.

    After the bullshit they pulled today I'm done. No more Google products for me.

    etherdiver, to random
    @etherdiver@ravenation.club avatar

    Carne thisclose to severing my fingertip this afternoon. Instead I merely cleanly sliced off about a quarter of the fingernail on my middle finger and a tiny bit of the meat underneath. Lots of blood but no real harm done (and it didn't even really hurt).

    Anyway, the takeaway here is Sharp Knives are Sharp and I should really be more careful.

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    @etherdiver Took about 1/4" off the side of my thumb once with a mandolin. Fortunately, it grew back. The mandolin went in the trash.

    TheJen, to til
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    Sadly, Bonzo did not succeed.

    <https://noc.social/@todayilearned/112294786745959300>  
todayilearned@noc.social - TIL Ronald Reagan was nearly killed during his acting career when the chimpanzee actor in Bedtime for Bonzo started strangling him with his necktie. He had to be cut free by a crewmember.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedtime_for_Bonzo#Production](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedtime_for_Bonzo#Production)  
#til #todayilearned  
[https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/1c7h2ze/til_ronald_reagan_was_nearly_killed_during_his/](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/1c7h2ze/til_ronald_reagan_was_nearly_killed_during_his/)
    TheJen, to random
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    Aloe is super happy now. It had way overgrown its pot. Got room to stretch out. :)

    TheJen,
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    @tantramar Why not? I love aloe plants. :)

    TheJen,
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    @tantramar That's when it gets moved outside to live with its cousins, the agave. ;)

    TheJen,
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    @tantramar You misspelled Kudzu, which is actually eating Asheville, NC as we speak. ;)

    GrimmReality, to random
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    Look at you with your Kitchen Scissors that are different from your Normal Scissors like some kind of Byzantine emperor.

    TheJen,
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    @GrimmReality Ah but see, I buy giant packs of regular scissors but then DECLARE them to be kitchen scissors, and everyone should just automatically know this.

    GottaLaff, to legal
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    NEW 🧵STARTS HERE
    I CANNOT READ REPLIES. "NFL" (NotForLaffy) appreciated

    1/...McBrien:

    At 2:35 p.m. we have audio again, but still no video, and we hear Merchan say "Thank you, please be seated."

    Merchan welcomes the jurors and starts by apologizing for how chilly it is in the courtroom.

    Video is back on, and both sides are seated in the same seats as this morning

    Merchan proceeds to read the boilerplate instructions for voir dire. Reminder: 30 mins per side

    TheJen,
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    @GottaLaff Thank you so much for doing this. It's truly amazing and helpful.

    TheJen, to random
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    Trump isn't falling asleep, he's overwhelmed. My father, who's also a narcissist like that fucker CANNOT COPE when his actions are called into question. He closes his eyes and tunes out just like trump.

    This is the FIRST TIME in his ENTIRE LIFE he has been made to answer for his misdeeds and he CANNOT COPE.

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    What kind of high-school experience did you have? Were you in a clique? Were you popular, unpopular, the coolest kid in your Homeschool? Did you have a sweet jean jacket with patches, or maybe a leather vest? Were you an evil villain or a Mary Sue?

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    @RickiTarr I was popular not by choice, but to please my father. If it were all left up to me, I would have been a huge bookish nerd. I mean, I am that, but I had to mask HARD in high school. Honor student, AP classes, "gifted", athlete, multiple clubs, dated the jocks, etc.

    That is until my senior year when the masking and my undiagnosed autism crashed in on me. I was able to test completely out of my senior year and bailed.

    The following few years were exceedingly difficult. I had no help whatsoever.

    High school in America is a shit show. It's actively harmful to children.

    Mrfunkedude, to random
    @Mrfunkedude@mastodon.social avatar

    Supply side freakanomics.

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    @Mrfunkedude screams in recovering MBA* LMAO

    TheJen, to random
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    Ok kids! Story time!

    The tale of how I was almost eaten by a bear while wearing a nightgown.

    My buddy Chef called me one day and told me that a woman he had worked with in the hotel industry had purchased an old plantation hotel near Waynesville North Carolina and she was needing good people to come run it. She tapped Chef, and he tapped me as I had experience general managing historic hotels.

    Long story short, I took the job, packed my trailer and hit the road.

    So that's the scene. Western North Carolina very close to the Tennessee border near Asheville.

    I rented a house midway between Asheville and Waynesville. It was in the big middle of a bunch of farms, so it was fairly isolated, and DARK.

    I also still smoked cigarettes at the time, and that plays an important part in the story.

    TheJen,
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    PANIC AT THE DISCO.

    Holy hell what am I gonna DO?

    Meanwhile, bear noises continue.

    I take stock of what I have available to me.

    Broom on the porch. Ok. That can be a weapon. Rocking chair. Hmm. Maybe I can break a window with it, but it's HEAVY. Trailer. What's still in the trailer? Art supplies. Ok. I have palette knives in my art supplies. Maybe I can slip the latch.

    Fetch those and start working on the door lock.

    1,2,3,4,5 palette knives broken. No closer to being indoors.

    Bear noises continue.

    Take stock again. Rocking chair. Window. Check. I will replace the damned window if I manage to break one.

    I manage to pick the damn thing up and managed to hurl it as hard as I could at one of the windows on the porch.

    The fucker BOUNCES OFF! I'M INCREDULOUS at this point. HOW?

    Go touch the window and the fuckers had acrylic storm windows installed over top! Plexiglass! Unbreakable by me!

    --Are you fucking kidding me--

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    So fuck me what do I do NOW? I can't break in. I'm in my nightgown, I don't have anything with me...except my phone.

    Locksmith. Maybe I'll get lucky, and I can find someone in Asheville to come rescue my dumb ass.

    No such luck.

    Ok Jen, I think, you have never successfully picked a lock like ever, but yeah, let's give THAT a go. Problem is, I have no lockpickicking tools.

    But I bet the farmer across the street has something I could use.

    Bear noises continue.

    Oh, and it had begun TO RAIN.

    So I trot my idiot ass about 1/4 mile over to this farmer's house. I'm standing at the front door banging on it until someone wakes up. FINALLY after what seemed like an hour, they come to the door and there I am, drenched, phone in hand for the flashlight, begging for any type of tools I can use to pick the lock on the front door.

    They disappear inside for another eternity while I stand there getting rained on.

    Finally, they come back with ice pick, a nail file, some hairpins, and other assorted lock picking type things, shove them in my hand, slam the door, and turn off the light.

    Right. Ok. Thanks for the help and whatever.

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    Remember...no shoes either.

    So I dead run back to my house. Fortunately I was a sprinter in track in high school and I'm pretty sure I made my best time that night. I fucking flew.

    Get back to the property my house is in and now the bear is fucking around in the front yard. Big as day.

    He hasn't noticed me yet. Good.

    I get low and move to the side of the driveway which is lined with giant thuja trees. I'm able to move more or less silently up the driveway in the mud until I get to the porch. Bear still doesn't notice.

    Amazingly, the rocking chair had landed in such a way from when I threw it at the window, that it gave me some cover while I attempted to pick this lock.

    5 minutes I'm at it, then 10, then 20, then 45.

    It's nearing 2 am by this point. I am exhausted and getting a little desperate.

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    Bear still hanging out, but has moved off a bit further away. I figured I may be able to make a little noise, and it wouldn't be the end of me immediately.

    By this time I assume you have gathered that my non skills at lockpicking have utterly failed me.

    The only option I have left at this point is to try and break down the door.

    My loves, I am 5'4" tall. I weigh about 120 pounds. There's not a lot to me.

    So I tried. I threw myself six ways to Sunday at that door. I think I heard it laugh at me.

    At this point, I was about ready to be bear food.

    TheJen,
    @TheJen@beige.party avatar

    So I dragged that rocking chair out to the middle of the porch and sat down. Caked with mud, exhausted, I started crying. But only for a moment.

    Now I am as ACAB as the next person, but y'all...I was out of options.

    Called the sheriff. Told them the story. I could hear the stifled laughter in the dispatcher's voice. Admittedly, this was FUCKING HILARIOUS, but I was still in danger.

    10 minutes later, sheriff deputy rolls up. He shoooes off the bear (YOU CAN DO THAT AND THEY'LL JUST GO AWAY? WHO KNEW?) And grinning, he comes up onto the porch and asks me what I want him to do.

    I ask him to please break down the door. I will fix the trim later. I know how.

    He asks how he is to know I belong here. By the look of me at that point, I'm thinking...yeah, that's a fair question.

    AMAZINGLY I had the presence of mind at an earlier time to download not only a copy of the lease for the house, but I also had a photo of my driver's license.

    I had less than 8% left on my phone battery at that moment, but it was enough.

    At 3:30 am I was finally back indoors.

    I survived being almost eaten by a bear while wearing a nightgown.

    I also left North Carolina approximately 3 weeks after this happened, and I will never return there.

    That's my story. :)

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