@oldladyplays@wargamers.social
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

oldladyplays

@oldladyplays@wargamers.social

Cait is a grandmother, activist, translator (๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ > ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง), writer, artist, musician, gamer, footy fan, and a bit of a flirt (show me yer shoulders, sweetie!). Transition 11/92, HRT 11/94.

Hugs and flirting welcome. I will never lie about your appearance. #ProudToBeTrans

Striving every day to be anti-racist & equity-based. I have a #PrivilegeJar.

PFP by https://mastodon.art/@SummerKnight

๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ: trans rights are human rights

YouTube: Historical gaming, war gaming, and FM24

#nobridge

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oldladyplays, to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Spending my morning learning how to pronounce the names of my Polish friends. It's a challenge, but at least their orthography is pretty regular - no weird shit like silent letters (I'm looking at you, FR and EN), letters that change value based on placement (RU, we need to talk about ะ“), weird diphthongs (NE, what's with "ij"?), or other tricks of other orthographies.

It's challenging because the sounds are not immediately obvious to a non-native speaker, but once you learn the orthography (aka spelling), it's pretty easy.

A short guide to a couple of bits for those who want to play our home game.

sz: sh
cz: ts
ล‚: w
ฤ™: nasalized e

Anyway, that's enough to get you going. Start figuring out how to pronounce the names of your Polish friends! It's fun and rewarding.

oldladyplays, to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

April Fool's Day is the worst and stupidest tradition we have about the calendar. "Ha ha, we'll have a day where everybody lies and tries to trick everyone else, and it'll all be a big laugh and no one will get hurt."

It's bullshit. Most AfD jokes (see what I did there?) are cruel and mean-spirited, making fun of people for trusting you. Is that really how you want to be known?

Needless to say, you can trust there will be none of that shit coming from this account on Monday. I'm always up for actual fun, you know, the kind where people are invited to take part and enjoy, rather than some of them singled out for mockery.

Yep, I'm the mayor of Nofunnington. As everyone knows, I never do anything remotely fun or funny. That's why I hate this day. Sure.

oldladyplays,
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

@eyrea

Yeah. In these days of dis- and misinformation, though, I'm reluctant to have a day where spreading it is encouraged.

oldladyplays, to random
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

Like...Muslims aren't around demanding I fast for Ramadan. Jews don't make me stand and say kaddish because someone died. Only Christians, in the Western world, have that kind of arrogance. Persecuted minority my sweet trans ass.

Yes, this is a subtoot, but not at any of you, just to the mavens of Christianity in the west.

rooster, to random
@rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @rooster

    It's happened only twice, and won't happen again until 2086. I think the cishets will be alright taking one for the team on this one.

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    I was scheduled to give a talk on Nazi history, but thanks to a typo from someone who was getting the program info over the phone, I'm now going to be talking about a dog.

    Yes, that's right, the Beer-Hall Pooch.

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    Got a hard physical day today. Had a two and a half hour education session this morning, which went well but was tiring, and this afternoon I have an in-person two-hour meeting across town. So I have to take a cab to get there, spend two hours, then another cab to get home (thankfully someone else is paying for the cabs). So I'll be busy from 16h to 19h with my "two-hour" meeting. All in all, it amounts to six hours of working today, half of it paid.

    That's too many hours in a single day for me. I'm going through CBD gummies like a woodpecker through soft pine.

    It's days like these that I really feel the being disabled thing. It's humbling knowing that a six-hour day can lay me out, when most of my friends can work an eight-hour day, day after day.

    So yeah, that's my day. Class this morning was excellent - it's our third-level class, so it's for the people who've already done the basics, and are talking about some of the advanced topics: polyamoury, drag, the AIDS crisis, conversion therapy, trans health care, and so on.

    This class was engaged and interested, had lots of good questions, and spontaneously and voluntarily put together a reflections session for themselves after we left. A real pleasure to teach.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @storybead

    Rowan, by the way, I hope you don't mind, i used you as an example today, of the wonderful combinations of features that people can sometimes come up with in their transitions, namely beard and boobs both. I was very complimentary about you. It was in the context of people policing other people's gender.

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    I wanna see a Manic Pixie Dream Girl movie where the sad protagonist is actually an egg, and she's having complicated feelings about gender envy and sexual attraction. Movie ends with both of them being MPDGs together.

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    Well, back on the bike today.

    Got a session to teach this morning, in-person (ugh - why can't these people do virtual like civilized people?), teaching the not-queers to be nice to the queers.

    Apparently I've been quiet. Sorry about that. Been feeling a little off, physically, the last couple of days, has meant I've spent more time on the reading throne than I usually get. On the up side, I got through most of book 1 of the Expanse again. On the down side, it's a very large book.

    Anyway, that'll keep me busy all morning, then I've got a radio interview early this afternoon for Trans Day of Visibility (pre-recording) with CBC.

    So it's a busy day ahead.

    Still making my claim for being the happiest, most joyful Caitie in all the world. My life is good, my boy thinks I'm sexy and smart, and I couldn't be much happier than I am.

    LeftistLawyer, (edited ) to climate
    @LeftistLawyer@kolektiva.social avatar

    Can someone please explain why, on a planet with 5 billion too many people and , declining birthrates are a problem?

    I'm at a loss.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @LeftistLawyer

    It's a desperate attempt to stave off the necessary choice: immigration. Demographically, the countries of the West are getting older and older. Fewer kids means fewer people to support the elderly. Unless you bring in immigrants, in large numbers. And therein lies the rub: the supply of immigrants is decidedly browner than the supply of Western-born people.

    So they start bleating about replacement theories and declining birth rates and the death of whiteness (which, afaic, not too soon).

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    I've been noodling on how we who are white can work to make Fedi a better place for Black people and other POC to exist on.

    On Xitter, we had a couple of hashtags, such as , which would alert anti-racist people to a reply-guy who needed sorting out (the above example used by Indigenous people). Can we get something similar going here? ?

    The idea would be that anti-racist people would follow the hashtag, and we dogpile THEM for a change, when one of them shows up in someone's replies with racist bullshit. Untag the OP, so they don't get swamped with your defence, and go to town. Educate if you like, block and report if you don't.

    Make it more uncomfortable to be racist on Fedi.

    We need to push, my friends, as hard on anti-Black and other forms of racism as we do on transphobia and enbyphobia.

    This is one way you can do it.

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    I wrote a post on how as a Black person, I feel an undercurrent of racism in Mastodon that white people don't even see.

    And my mentions are filled with white dudes telling me how I'm wrong, that I need to explain it, and that I don't know what I'm talking about.

    So all you white people looking for proof, there it fucking is, like I knew it would be.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @DivineKestrel

    And if you'll excuse me using your thread to instruct white people, I'd like to suggest a couple of things to white folks.

    1. We who are Terra's white friends should be doing a better job of collecting our people. Because they are our people doing this shit.

    2. When you do take on someone from the replies, please remember to remove Terra's tag from the post. She doesn't need to see all that crap being flung around.

    Let's make Fedi less comfortable for the racists.

    sarahwedde, to random
    @sarahwedde@mastodon.nz avatar

    People who can comfortably live off 30% of their income cluelessly explaining savings to people who can barely live off 100% of theirs is a phenomenon I encounter way too often.

    YOU'RE NOT BETTER AT BUDGETING YOU JUST HAVE MORE MONEY.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @RickiTarr @sarahwedde

    My father is dead 43 years. My mother cut me off 30 years ago for being trans.

    Which parents am I supposed to turn to exactly?

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    I remember living in South Carolina. It was racist as hell. Like, just straight up open love of The Confederacy, people straight up saying n** and talking about "those people." Whole areas and towns of Black folk living separate and interacting only when they need to.

    Now I live in Oregon. Almost nobody is openly waving confederate flags. Everyone talks about inclusion and tolerance and acceptance. And there are a lot of people who will tone police others about that. It's a happy place of liberal joy.

    Here's the thing: There are a TON of Black folk in South Carolina. Some places they are the majority, if not in power. And the Black folk know what they're dealing with, and can fight it very directly.

    Meanwhile, there barely are any Black folk in Oregon, because the state made laws to exclude them. And now we're either subtly excluded or openly objectified. And we can't say anything because we'll hurt white feeling.

    Twitter is like South Carolina.

    Mastodon is like Oregon.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @DivineKestrel

    Oof. That's a terrific and terrible (in the "it instills terror" sense) analogy. I think I understand it better now, how fedi is racist.

    What can I do, as a white person here, to actively make it better for Black folk to be on Fedi? Not how can I avoid making it worse - is there something we can do to improve things? Cause fuck "good enough", it ain't good enough.

    Thanks for the analogy. It makes things a LOT clearer.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @jdp23 @DivineKestrel

    Thank you so much, that's all practical stuff I can do. Most I already do - I follow a lot of wonderful Black people on Fedi - but there are places I can improve.

    Terra's excellent analogy will help enormously in taking up the "explaining the Fedi experience for Black people" baton.

    I feel energized. Thanks!

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    Do you know anyone who came out as trans or nonbinary as a teenager?

    I would love to speak with someone who's been through this, with an eye to getting their thoughts down on video for use in my work on "My Kid is Coming Out: What Do I Do Next?"

    Can be as anonymous as you like, we can blur your image, change your voice, whatever. But I'd really love to have the voice of experience in this particular video. What I'm looking for is about two or three minutes on how it was, how it went, what could have been better.

    Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    Today's is gonna be a two-fer. Same song, different languages.

    First, let's go with the original. "Jet Boy Jet Girl" was a punk song from 1977 by Elton Motello. He recorded it on a Belgian label. A year later, Plastic Bertrand (a Belgian fake group made for the song) made this hilariously weird cover, "Ca plane pour moi", using the same backing track as the English song.

    What was cool about Jet Boy, Jet Girl was that it was about a 15-year-old boy who gets involved with an older man, who then rejects him. It was transgressive for its time, and indeed the words are probably still NSFW.

    The words in French are deliberately nonsensical; the author describes them as "a bunch of stuff the narrator sees in his very stoned head". The title of the song is, basically, "That works for me".

    While the cover was meant to be mocking, it turned out to be quite popular, and is part of the early lexicon of punk now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgbtLJyLDu8

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8soQkubMk1g

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @Eka_FOOF_A

    I remember the first time I heard it on the radio, and I was like, "did I really just hear that?"

    'I'm gonna mate and penetrate, I'm gonna make you be a girl..."

    That line electrified me.

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    I can't seem to do one of those fedi circle things, it just says it can't fetch user. Maybe they need to send a bigger dog?

    oldladyplays, to random
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    Proud of myself tonight. Used all my financial abilities (which are negligible) to make it so I could order sufficient food (I think) for the rest of the month; being away for four days next week will help that. Still got a little reserve of cash to rely on, too.

    Happy on that score.

    Not happy that my vial has still not arrived. It went "out for delivery" at 1430, but has not arrived here, and I don't recall Canada Post delivering late into the evening. So I don't know...maybe tomorrow? shrug

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    Welp. I outsmarted myself.

    I ordered groceries yesterday. Carefully set the amount below my credit limit, so I could get the stuff and not go over.

    And then a little after midnight, I got the notice: your order has been cancelled, payment didn't proceed.

    Except that it did proceed - far enough that they've now locked down my remaining money for five business days until they give it back (because I used credit rather than debit - they return the money to the credit account, but it takes them time, strangely).

    Without the groceries.

    Which leaves me stuck asking once again for mutual aid.

    I need about CAD100 or so to get through the rest of the month and, y'know, be fed.

    UPDATE: Need about CAD20 to reach the goal. Y'all are awesome.

    2nd UPDATE: And we're there. Thank you, all, so very much.

    I'm at cavebabe21@gmail.com on PayPal, I'm also on ko-fi.com as oldladyplays.

    I'll update as soon as the goal is reached, I don't want to exceed it or anything.

    Sorry to be having to do this again a second time in a couple of months. I'll explain the why in another post.

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Surgeon: You have to understand that your new vagina will not have any internal lubrication because you don't have a Bartholin gland like a cis woman, so it will remain dry and you'll have to use lube.

    My pussy: Fuck that shit, I'm gonna drool honey down your damn legs you horny ass bitch.

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @DivineKestrel

    This is literally the question I've asked myself since surgery. Did they remove my demi-ness at the same time? Because I can think of nearly a dozen times that I've broken ranks on being demi by sexing with a stranger. In safe ways, mind - at play parties and the like, where the "strangers" were FOAF-level unknown - but still.

    I found having bottom surgery changed my sexuality entirely. Before, I viewed myself as obligate sapphic. After, definitely pan. I no longer give a rat's ass what gender the person I'm with has, or what configuration of genitalia. I just want someone with a delcious squishy brain to munch on.

    Metaphorically, I mean.

    @CharlotteEowyn @caroline @Impossible_PhD @anjune @jamie_blumberg

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    Struggle post. Fair warning.

    So yesterday I had to cut off not one, but two people I'd been helping as they questioned/navigated early coming out to themselves because, in both cases, the person would not respect crucial boundaries I repeatedly articulated for their protection and mine. And like... I don't blame them for needing what I couldn't give. I'm not angry at them. They're new to all this, and figuring shit out is an incredibly emotionally-fraught time. Shit happens.

    ๐Ÿงต(1/?)

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @Impossible_PhD @kelidanovus

    And you never will be. Nor will I. Nor would an army of either of us. There's that much need. We could exist as an army of 60,000 clones (or robots) each, and not make a realistic dent in the English-speaking trans population. You know that. No matter how much time you put in, you will never help them all.

    Even Schindler had a list.

    Dynamicallydisabled, to random
    @Dynamicallydisabled@spore.social avatar

    @njeanneburns PFLAG is a great resource and was critical for my dad when I came out. It's so important for parents to have a space they can ask the potentially upsetting questions - and be educated by people who are NOT their trans child. Also assignedmedia.org does a lot of great debunking of myths and stuff too. @e_urq

    oldladyplays,
    @oldladyplays@wargamers.social avatar

    @Dynamicallydisabled @njeanneburns @e_urq

    In about a week, I should have the first of my videos up on Fullmetal Feminist, which will specifically be about "My Kid Just Came Out as Trans - What Do I Do?"

    I'm working on the script today, and should be shooting within a couple of days. I'm aiming for the 15th, if I can do it.

    My Fedi account for the task is @fullmetalfeminist if they want to keep up with videos as they get released. Currently there's just an introduction video, but more are coming as soon as I can make them.

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