@soundconjurer@mstdn.social
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

soundconjurer

@soundconjurer@mstdn.social

Chemical Engineer, Software Engineer, Autistic, ADHDer, Dad of Two Guinea Pigs, Gay AF

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

My Neuralink implant is incredible. I was concerned by the electric shocks at first, but tech support assured me that it's a feature, not a bug. They even increased the voltage for me. If I upgrade to the premium membership for only $99 a month then Elon will restore my fondest childhood memories.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts Hell, if I can just have instant brain death, I would sign up right now.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I feel so bad for them.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts I wish I was a miscarriage. We can all dream.

nixCraft, to random
@nixCraft@mastodon.social avatar

Be honest. Why do you dislike the .webp format? What did it do to you? 🤔

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@nixCraft , what's to like about a format that doesn't render a thumbnail in any application?

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I agree.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts , I didn't make any pinkie promises in the void, why am I here then?

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Lawyer: Harvey Weinstein hospitalized after his return to New York from upstate jail

“They examined him and sent him to Bellevue. It seems like he needs a lot of help, physically. He’s got a lot of problems. He’s getting all kinds of tests. He’s somewhat of a train wreck health wise,” Aidala said.

https://apnews.com/article/12b765ba6ec3b9522d2ff5ed46cc7af6

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@GottaLaff , I have avoided this issue by not being Harvey Weinstein.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@GottaLaff , it's so easy. I bet you're doing it right now!

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Nature is crazy.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts This is the best LQF yet.

arstechnica, to random
@arstechnica@mastodon.social avatar

So much for free speech on X; Musk confirms new users must soon pay to post

The fee, likely $1, is aimed at stopping “relentless” bots, Musk said.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/04/so-much-for-free-speech-on-x-musk-confirms-new-users-must-soon-pay-to-post/?utm_brand=arstechnica&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@arstechnica , it's so cool people still use Twitter still. I thought it would have joined Myspace already.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

According to a still in effect 1784 law, it is illegal to eat pretzels in Pennsylvania unless you have a parrot on your shoulder. You are also legally required to share if the bird demands it.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts , wow, so very cute!! And the parrot is cute as well!

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I never would have guessed.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts They love honey, but it makes them vomit.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Happy National Potato Month everyone!
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts , it's true! I celebrate these potatoes daily. 🥔

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@GarlicToast @Matty_r , definitely do. With the little money I have, I use this program on 3 machines of mine. The junk mail filter isn't perfect, but actually works compared to Hotmail's junk filter.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Wow.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts facts!

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Ben Shapiro is the worst.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts At least he's debating people with his knowledge level now.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I want to give an uncharacteristically high quality thank you to everyone who supports my Patreon. I don't know if a dollar a month is a lot or a little to you, but it means the world to me either way. And my cats certainly appreciate the treats I am able to get them thanks to the generosity of internet strangers.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts When do they become Pan-seared MeowMeow? 🤤

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Today someone accused me of stealing a joke that I posted. I told them I write everything I post myself and asked if they could show me the original joke that they thought I stole. I guess they were unable to find it, and naturally, instead of admitting they were wrong they proceeded to block me. I am many things (a fiend, a heathen, a self-proclaimed titan of industry, etc.) but I am no joke thief.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts You did steal a joke, you stole my heart.

lowqualityfacts, to random
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We made a comic about Hell.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts He's a monster!!!!

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I love Pedro Pascal.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts , damn!!! Lowest quality fact I've seen thus yet! Guys! The bar has descended!

nextcloud, (edited ) to random
@nextcloud@mastodon.xyz avatar

How do you feel about AI so far this year?

Let us know your thoughts - your feedback and discussions really help us!

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@nextcloud , save computing power for us and keep it out of the main product. I don't want it on my server. It's a huge waste of energy and the yield is not impressive. If anything, it's just a front for data collection.

autism101, to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Small talk and conversations can be really hard for autistic people.

@actuallyautistic

image: Izzy@autieselfcare

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic , I scores a perfect 100 on this one and it's exhausting.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Elon Musk, in a rare moment of self-reflection: Could I really be the bad guy? Could millions of people be correct in thinking that my hoarding of wealth, exploitation of workers, and thinly-veiled support of an authoritarian dystopia are harmful to humanity?

Elon Musk, a half-second later: Neh, the guys I pay to tell me I'm awesome are definitely right lol

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Please support me on Patreon so I can continue to write the Low Quality Facts that you all know and love.
And if you're unfamiliar with my work, just look at a few glowing reviews from some of my biggest fans:
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Comment: Idiotic post!
Comment: That's 100% unadulterated bullshit.
Comment: See, this is exactly how willful ignorance is spread, with misinformation like this.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts , too right these people are! Clearly the standing ovation we have all come to agree with. 😋

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

DeSantis is the worst.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts I live in Florida, he's accomplished nothing to make life in this shithole better for anyone but foaming at the mouth bigots. 0/10 Governor.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Bring back Bucket Man.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts I'm bucket man.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I owe you all the deepest and sincerest apology. It has been brought to my attention that my facts are enabling fascism and destroying democracy. I am especially sorry for the harmful facts stating that:

-Every month is National Potato Month.
-George W. Bush has a Foo Fighters tattoo on his back.
-Optimus Prime is the only heterosexual Transformer.
-The Lord of the Rings was filmed in New York City.
-Cher’s full name is Chernobyl.

I pray that you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me.

soundconjurer,
@soundconjurer@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts , I don't forgive you. How could you do that to us! How could you make us part of your covert attack on democracy and sleep at night? I thought I was coming to your page for a laugh, but I didn't know you were just trying to get me to read the nonsensical ramblings of Mein Kampf. 😭

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