Dadjokes

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."

skyfire101,

@NormanDunbar @MaJ1 @PaulNickson @evelynefoerster here you go. Very much alive and making plans!

MaJ1,

@PaulNickson @evelynefoerster @SteveClough @Watty @skyfire101 @NormanDunbar I’ve been saying that since I got here lol.

The thing that cat owners don’t realise is the nature of the who owns who relationship !

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

tarmoamer,

@evelynefoerster They’re resisting the kid napping.

Rasta,

@NormanDunbar @evelynefoerster
If you breathe into a breathalyzer,
what do you do with an analyzer?

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

PaulNickson,
@PaulNickson@mastodon.social avatar

@evelynefoerster @MaJ1 Now, normally I’d be in agreement but as you are singing the praises of Houmous I’m now worried - I may have rivals in Houmous wars. Damn!!

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar
dgar,
@dgar@aus.social avatar

It’s #FollowFriday and I #FollowBack so #Follow me for a #FridayFollow this #Friday.

If you have an #introduction toot pinned on your profile that you’d like boosted, #comment “IntroBoost” below, and I’ll give you a #boost to help you connect with the community.

If you #FollowMe you can expect #DadJokes, bad #puns, and original #IndieMusic so I look forward to connecting with you, and connecting you to a wider #community.

Also, follow @PixysJourney, who is an outstanding Mastodonian!
🫶🤗

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@dgar
🥰 Fankoos sweets 😘
I do my best to share my journey through life here with all of you lovely folks 🌸

Have a good day everyone 🍀 💜

RodneyPetersonTalent,
@RodneyPetersonTalent@mastodon.social avatar

@dgar @PixysJourney

Okay cool. Into boost. And maybe some of my funnier original posts too. Thanks.

markwyner,
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

I just started a band called 999 Megabytes.

We haven’t done a gig yet.

ryb,

@markwyner In the 80s you might have had a dance troupe instead with that name.

markwyner,
@markwyner@mas.to avatar

@tadbithuman never heard of it. I’ll take a peek.

dgar,
@dgar@aus.social avatar

It’s and I so me for a this .

If you have an toot pinned on your profile that you’d like boosted, “IntroBoost” below, and I’ll give you a to help you connect with the community.

If you you can expect , bad , and original so I look forward to connecting with you, and connecting you to a wider .

🫶

muz4now,
@muz4now@mastodon.world avatar

@dgar So that’s what those jokes are called! (Oops. I even laughed at a few.) Have a great weekend.

MaJ1,

@dgar For those already following @dgar there are now a number of special International rehabilitation centres to help. I believe they administer Pan Galatic Gargleblasters as a standard treatment 😜😂

Seriously , if you follow me then you could do a lot worse than following this Awesome Aussie!

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'"

SteveClough,
@SteveClough@metalhead.club avatar

@evelynefoerster The bartender replies "I'll make no bones about it, but I am not sure you can hold your beer"

Bakersm11,
@Bakersm11@theblower.au avatar

@evelynefoerster

Wow! EVEn without any reference to neato- magnetotactic meteorite 🌎 💫 🌀 eating Blue Bacteria that seems like a pretty sweet encapsulation of the subject matter at the time of back to the Future Microbiol. 2014 pre Mastodon era

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/834408

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."

selzero,
@selzero@syzito.xyz avatar

@evelynefoerster I don't know about the boat but you should probably stand in the bad joke corner for a minute 😬

Bishopjoey,
@Bishopjoey@writing.exchange avatar
evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."

SurrealSeal,
evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar
evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Theosuwb,
@Theosuwb@mastodon.social avatar

@evelynefoerster oh yes Eve! 👍🤗😂😂

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

@Theosuwb
😊 🤗 😅

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

@pete
Talk about a crash course in finding a needle in a haystack! They really went above and beyond for that headcount.

SHoenle,

@evelynefoerster groaner …

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!"

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar
evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

@JohnLoader6
If you listen closely, you might just catch a hint of Beethoven's 'Fifth Symphony' as the call disconnects. It's all part of the high-class service! 🎵📞😄

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"

Christo,

@MaJ1 @paulfoerster @evelynefoerster
A neighbour of mine ended up in a really bad state through impossible workload and deadline. Now in therapy thank goodness

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

@Christo @MaJ1 @paulfoerster
We are living in an unhealthy working environment - there are more and more complications with overload and then people having to get help - I'm worried.

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines.

jb,

@evelynefoerster 🍅 🍅 🍅

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar
evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar


"How do you make 7 even?" "Take away the s."

evelynefoerster,
@evelynefoerster@swiss.social avatar

@MaJ1 I'm Glad to hear you're still alive and kicking! 😂 You wouldn't believe the existential crisis I was having without your audience, well knowing...might be missed! 😂

paulfoerster,
@paulfoerster@swiss.social avatar

@evelynefoerster Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

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