"Beginning is the hardest step", Carlo Rovelli says. First impressions matter. They are vital. Irreplaceable. There are no second chances at them we're told. But, all art is the art of iterating. Of starting and restarting. Making your mark and making it again…
It's not suffering when you choose the pain over the profit. When you choose the process over the goal. When you choose calluses over tenderness. It's not suffering when you want the hurt more than the reward.
You can take apart your systems. Your methods. Your rituals. Your process. Your practices. You can examine them. You can look closer. You can change things. It may not be the answer, but it's a question worth asking. Sometimes that's the best we can do....
You have an affliction. A malady. Everything in the world, all its equipment and armaments, its slings and arrows, its sticks and stones, its words that always hurt you, that break your heart and your bones. Osteogenesis imperfecta. All your inner structures turn brittle, little, and weak.