QueenOfCoffee

QueenOfCoffee, 10 months ago to random

When I die I want someone to take the flowers off my casket and toss them into the crowd to see who's gonna be next.

QueenOfCoffee, 10 months ago to random

Guys... My 12 year old just showed me a TikTok challenge where, no shit, you write your name on a piece of paper without ever lifting up the pencil...

Congrats younger generation. You just discovered cursive. 🤣

QueenOfCoffee, 4 months ago to random

Christmas vacation is the best.

QueenOfCoffee, 8 months ago to random

Mastodon... It's unfair you put my posts about drinking peanut butter whiskey next to the astrophysicist talking about his study on light pollution at night. Just sayin.

QueenOfCoffee, 10 months ago to random

This is the content I'm here for.

QueenOfCoffee, 1 month ago to random

Was gonna save this for #therapodthursday but I don't feel like waiting.

QueenOfCoffee, 5 months ago to random

Lol. Someone went around our little town and scratched off the s and d in the speed limit signs. Now they all tell you the Pee Limit.

No, it was not me. Yes, I wish I came up with it first.

QueenOfCoffee, 9 months ago to random

I just bought a pair of mom jeans for the first time at age 44.

Omg. Why didn't you guys tell me how comfy these are. Not tight, not loose. Waist at my tits tucking everything in.

These are freaking battle armor. I will go forth and lead the minivan brigade.

QueenOfCoffee, 6 months ago to Pittsburgh

I will only make one toot about voting today.

For my fellow Pennsylvanians who ignore local elections, I get you. But, there is one really important race today to get you to the polls. A state supreme court seat is up for grabs. This race could determine if abortion remains legal in PA.

Thank you. steps off soap box
#pennsylvania #philly #pittsburgh #elections

QueenOfCoffee, 10 months ago to random

Is mid 40s old enough to start putting the word "the" before everything?

As in, "I'm all over The Mastodon." or "Let's watch some shows on The Netflix?"

I always thought that was adorable.

QueenOfCoffee, 4 months ago to random

Just went downstairs to find the kids rocking out to Christmas music. I reminded them Christmas is well over, but they said "no, it's on again because it's snowing."

It's supposed to snow for like another 10 hours. Send help.

QueenOfCoffee, 4 months ago to random

Got the mail and there was a burger King crown in my mailbox. Finally, someone has recognized my greatness.

QueenOfCoffee, 6 months ago to random

Gonna take all 3 of my kids to the polls with me today and let them run around like assholes. Not because I want to teach the importance of voting, but because my township is very red and I'm petty.

QueenOfCoffee, 6 months ago to random

Thanksgiving eve is my favorite day before a holiday day. By this afternoon I'll be drinking and baking pies. Two of my favorite things.

QueenOfCoffee, 5 months ago to random

The cashier at shoprite just called me baby girl. I feel like I've had an affair.

QueenOfCoffee, 9 days ago to random

I'm making meatloaf. This has turned my younger two into aspiring attorneys.

QueenOfCoffee, 9 months ago to random

People out there just liking and boosting every thing.

I'm probably one of them.

QueenOfCoffee, 8 months ago to random

Had a mini epiphany today.

I think the reason I'm functional and even keeled despite being a bit neurotic is that I'm pretty good at saying "No."

Seriously, next time you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious try saying no to something you don't want to do. It feels pretty nice.

QueenOfCoffee, 5 months ago to random

I'm pretty sure my tortilla or my griddle are possessed. Maybe both.

QueenOfCoffee, 5 months ago to random

Pretty sure my hubs just cheated. He said he was going out to the grocery for laundry detergent.

Came back 90 minutes later. With a mustard stain and chip grease on his shirt.

He's betrayed the Thanksgiving leftovers and hit a wawa.

QueenOfCoffee, 6 months ago to random

Is it just Thanksgiving or am I trying to murder my lactose intolerant husband? You be the judge. If he lives through all the dairy in the meal, I made this as one of the desserts. I've also did a pumpkin cheesecake.

QueenOfCoffee, 4 months ago to random

I absolutely love that Brits call a pharmacist a chemist. It sounds so sexy.

QueenOfCoffee, 6 months ago to random

I made the mistake earlier this week of telling my boys and hubs that Uranus was actually visible to the naked eye for a couple days. Lesson learned.

QueenOfCoffee, 3 months ago to random

QueenOfCoffee, 6 months ago to random

My hubs just put on a pair of sweatpants to go out to dinner. And told me they were "athletic pants."

Sure. Athletes love to go to buffets.