@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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donni, to random
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Your toes could be up to anything. They’re too far away to supervise

donni, to random
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I only stay up late because I love being extremely tired and suffering the next day

donni, to random
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It's a beautiful day outside if you're not a vampire. Pretty sure I'm not, but why risk

donni, to random
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I try to calm down at least once a year

donni, to random
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Thought about something too long and hurt my own feelings, a useful skill to have

donni, to random
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You are stronger and more skilled than basically all babies, so there’s that

donni, to random
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Yes, I am mad about the important issues, but I still make the effort to to get upset about stupid bullshit also

donni, to random
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Scientists agree that the best thing to do is lie on the floor

donni, to random
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I have a complicated relationship with me

donni, to random
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Sorry I’ve been kind of gloomy lately. I’m sure I’ll get over it in 30 to 40 years

donni, to random
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How do I monetize this creeping sense of despair

donni, to random
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Who needs sleep when the mind is an infinite canvas of horror and cheese cravings

donni, to random
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Look, I’m not gonna lie to you: I’m too lazy to lie to you

healyn, to random
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Some guy once said to me, "Sporty Thievz is the poor man's Lox", which is way more elegant than Tolkien's "cellar door" horseshit

donni,
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@healyn like the Wish version of the Lox? Generic replacement? But that doesn’t really make sense beyond them both being from Yonkers

donni,
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@healyn I get what he meant but that claim does not hold up

donni, to random
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If my demands are not met, they will be very lonely

donni, to random
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I scream. You scream. Our screams harmonize. We sound pretty good

donni, to random
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Jurassic Park didn't even have ONE swing set

donni, to random
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Shirts are just belly socks

donni, to random
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I’m opposed to everything currently happening, and also everything that previously happened

donni, to random
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I just need 18 more hours a day to get some stuff done

donni, to random
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A bird in the hand would like to be released, you jerk

donni, to random
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Life is thousands of normal and boring days, and then one day when you decide to wrestle an elephant

donni, to random
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I just want to be famous for a good reason or rich for a weird reason

donni, to random
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Who needs sleep when you can dwell and fret for many glorious hours

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