@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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donni, to random
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I respect how my anxious thoughts work so hard all day and then work even harder all night

donni, to random
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Sometimes I feel weird, mainly because I’m weird. But not always for that reason

donni, to random
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You don’t have to do this to yourself. You can read a book or something. I mean, I’m doing it too, but still

donni, to random
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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. Life is a carousel of choices

donni, to random
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I’ll sleep when I am finally tired enough to turn off my evil little pocket computer

donni, to random
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We never talk about how global warming might cause violent superpenguins

donni, to random
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Hopefully your skeleton never abandons you suddenly in the night

donni, to random
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Wish I had the optimism of dogs at a barbecue

donni, to random
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Science fact: Knees are just leg skulls

donni, to random
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People seem to get confused when you follow them around playing a flute

donni, to random
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Reject the mortifying ordeal of being known. Embrace the delightful ordeal of eating pizza

donni, to random
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Maybe you’re the main character in a boring novel where very little happens

donni, to random
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I am not my brother’s keeper. That would be Dave, from Dave’s Keepers. Guy does some good keeping

donni, to random
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Eating cheese as a temporary solution

donni, to random
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When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I ditched you. Seems pretty obvious to me

donni, to random
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Oh, you think you’re better than me? Most people are, pal. You need higher standards

donni, to random
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Got too high once and called a bunch of people in the phone book just to make sure they were doing OK

donni,
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@ReverendMoose most didn’t answer, which was concerning

donni, to random
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If I were a giraffe, I would wear a turtleneck and look amazing in it

donni, to random
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I wonder how many floors floor stores store in-store

donni, to random
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Earth is an alien zoo but our keepers lost interest millions of years ago

donni, to random
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I hope this email does not find you or anyone. Let this email wander free

donni, to random
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Who needs a basket at the supermarket? I just grab two large handfuls and stagger to the checkout, dropping small items behind me

donni, to random
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I’ll never go to bed at a reasonable hour despite being constantly exhausted and I refuse to learn from this

donni, to random
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Ask your doctor what the hell is wrong with everybody

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