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"I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.
The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all."
So stoked to share that I’ve accepted a freelance blogging gig at Read Poetry, an online community that celebrates poetry as a form of expression, activism, & self-care.
My first article shares 4 poetry prompts to support self-care and mental wellbeing. Check it out on readpoetry.com, and be sure to subscribe to their blog to get future articles from myself and the rest of the Read Poetry blogging team!
Looking for a trans inclusive book, film or TV programme? Have a look at TransActual's entertainment library for recommendations. If you don't see something you think we should add, let us know down in the comments!
Type in transactual.org.uk/entertainment or go to the link in our bio and find it in the 'new from TransActual' section.
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Let Them...The idea behind this way of thinking is that negative people are going to do what they are going to do, so you can take back your power by letting them. You don't need to use your precious energy to fight their negativity.
• “No” is a complete sentence.
• If you’re not having a good time you can leave.
• Never make yourself smaller just to make other people more comfortable.
• It’s okay not to be okay.
• Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.
• Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.
• Speak as kindly to yourself as you would speak to others.
• Be your own greatest cheerleader, always.
It’s never too late to learn these things. #SelfCare
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Looking for a trans inclusive book, film or TV programme? Have a look at TransActual's entertainment library for recommendations. We're just getting started with it, so let us know if you've got suggestions of things to add!
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These are the guidelines that I follow about boosting or not boosting something. These guidelines make sense to me. I do not care if they make sense to you or not. I also reserve the right to make rare exceptions when I see it fit, but I have to warn you that I don’t need to be consistent with my exceptions, and that a post has to hit a specific note for me to ignore my rules.
Also, I’ll note here that your popularity elsewhere, or even in the fediverse, does not matter. I regularly don’t boost posts by celebrities who do not use hashtags.
Ultimately, you don’t get to decide how I apply my rules.
Understood?
I try to be a considerate booster. If you know me at all, you know that I don’t like people who have nothing to say but boost all the things. Ironically, I eventually catch on to their shenanigans and end up muting them, so I don’t see all the things that they boost, and they want me to see so badly. If I follow you, it is because I’d like to hear about you. Conversely, I’m selective in my boosting, for the reasons given above.
Your Autistic Life is supported by readers like you. Use one of the links below to support my writing! Thank you.
By far, the most common case in which I see a post that I would like to boost, but don’t, is when it has no hashtags. This is not merely my own itch that I’m trying to scratch here. Some people do not want to see certain types of contents. Proper tagging helps them know what your content is about, and helps them filter out this content if they don’t want to see it.
For these people, this filtering is self-care. When you post a post without tags, then they cannot care for themselves.
I also don’t boost posts that are merely “boost this post if you [something banal.]” Things like “please boost if you like cats,” “please boost if you are above 50,” etc. Note that I do not include in this group well written posts that ask to boost for awareness. Boosting for awareness is generally worthwhile, whereas boosting for the platitudes I put above ain’t.
Furthermore, I no longer boost posts that are from objectionable sources. Fox News is the prime example here. If it is newsworthy, there is certainly another source you could have picked. If Fox News is the only source, it is most likely a lie. In fact, I don’t even see these posts anymore because I filter them out.
Finally, I don’t boost posts that are just a link. Oh, maybe the link itself gives an idea of what the page I’m going to find at the other end is all about. Maybe I even follow that link and think what a great article! I won’t boost. I hate naked links in posts. Tell us why you agreed or disagreed with the article you link to.
I probably have more rules, but they are not coming up to mind right this moment, and are likely not as important as the rules above.