@QuietLurker@mastodon.social
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

QuietLurker

@QuietLurker@mastodon.social

Interested in conversations on film, television, games/gaming, books, writing, politics, news, current events, hot topics

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RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Something I've noticed a lot lately, is that especially Boomer women, but honestly, women in general, don't seem to ask for what they want or need in a direct way. I notice this a lot with my Mom and her friends. Instead of just asking for what they need directly they tell a story, to ask in a roundabout way. For instance, my Mom needed help this morning, and Instead of just saying, "Hey, I dropped my remote, can you pick it up for me?" She tells a one minute story about what happened, no ask, and eventually I get the point, and then suggest that I come pick it up. Or if one of her friends wants to do something like have a birthday party for a friend, they don't say "We should have a party!" They say, It's Sarah's Birthday coming up, you know she likes surprises, what does everyone think we should do?"

I often wonder if this is why older people think younger women are rude and demanding, because younger people often just ask for what they want and need in a more direct way. But also it's probably just straight up sexism, because men are supposed to make decisions, and women are supposed to make suggestions.

What do you all think? Is this just me? Have you experienced something similar?

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr My MIL is the master of this, but she’s so warm and friendly that she makes people want to do her favors. I take her shopping with me because she’ll get the salesperson’s life story and us a discount or special accommodations. It’s amazing. On the other hand, you can’t ask her for things directly. You have to pretend you don’t want something and it’s her idea to give it to you or else she’ll think you’re rude and entitled. It’s bizarre.

qkslvrwolf, to random
@qkslvrwolf@mastodon.social avatar

Hey, you know how lefties and righties both have conspiracy theories? You know..the right says shit like "democrats are running a satanistic child pedofile ring under a pizza shop" and lefties are like "Russians are literally attacking our democracy with active information warfare measures."

(And by lefties, I mean left side, progressive, serious people, not horseshitters etc).

Well it ain't a conspiracy theory if it's an actual conspiracy.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@qkslvrwolf https://i.imgflip.com/8h43j0.jpg

BlackAzizAnansi, to random
@BlackAzizAnansi@mas.to avatar

So is this the year of corporations just dropping all pretense and kicking their employees and customers in the ass?

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@BlackAzizAnansi I guess when you coast through life without the fear of serious repercussions there’s no need for pretenses. They’ve consolidated enough power to not worry. They’re just trying to suck up every last drop of possibility of ever losing another inch of ground. I guess my only question for them is what happens when 99% of people can’t afford to buy any of their useless shit?

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Health and Beauty Gurus who are under 60 are scam. Come talk to me about wrinkles and joint health when you're 72, then I might buy what you're selling.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I also don’t want to hear it from people who’ve had work done or started out a “supermodel.” People will be like “so and so looks amazing for being older.” Oh, you mean that person who started out as one of the most attractive people on the planet and who now gets cosmetic procedures still looks great in their older age? This is like when someone who’s never been overweight gives weight loss tips. What relevance does that have to anyone?

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr @QuietLurker Oh yes, those useful articles about how someone retired at 30 and when you learn how, it always boils down to “Jack took a million dollar loan from his parents to start his business and lived in his grandfather’s third home to avoid paying rent.” Very helpful WSJ.

PacificNic, to random
@PacificNic@zeroes.ca avatar

The consequence of the unspoken, society-wide "don't say COVID" rule is that I know a lot of people risking their health who think they've made an informed decision, but they REALLY haven't.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@maggiejk @PacificNic People make weird calculations of what careful means. For instance, my MIL thinks being careful means going to the store in the morning or eating in nicer restaurants. Many people I know think it’s being around vaccinated people. Those same people rely on the news to tell them when it’s safe. Those same people don’t really mask either though, but they’ve told themselves thinking about it at all means being careful. I rather they just be honest.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

The worst of is choking back guffaws about some of the ridiculous post apocalyptic coping scenes. Like the prepper who pops into his local natural gas substation and turns one little valve-wheel, and presto!, he’s got power and light for his little 1-man private town for years.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq Logistics aside, that was a great episode. The season largely went down hill for me after that, but I’m too much of a fan of the games to appreciate the massive deviations from the source material. Still a good show in its own right, but it’s difficult to separate the two when you have high expectations. They really neutered the danger of the world while trying to ground it in reality.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

Good morning. Have you ever asked yourself why MAGAs smugly say stuff like “Do your research. America is not a democracy. It’s a Republic!” Obviously, they think it’s just owning you, but in their heads, what do you think they are thinking the meaningful distinctions really are, and why do they want to seem so prideful about it? (Can you imagine Kristen Welker, Katy Tur, or Jake Tapper asking them this question? I can’t.)

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@tikistitch @shoq They’ve been saying it for years. Even during the Tea Party days you’d have trolls on forums arguing this point on every political thread or article as if it’s some kind of gotcha. It seems for them it means they are justified in trying to suppress votes or subvert democracy because we aren’t a true democracy or something. Really it’s justifying their fascist inclinations.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Okay, I'm thinking about gift giving today. A little backstory about why:

Every year my Father-in-law attempts to get my Mother-in-law a gift. She is a bit of a shopper, and is notoriously difficult to shop for. Every year he gets her something he guesses a woman would like (perfume, sweater, jewelry), and every year she doesn't really like it, and ends up begrudgingly using it or returns it. They have been married over 30 years, and seem to have a pretty good marriage otherwise. It's like she wants him to magically understand what she wants, and he is sort of equally bad at the whole thing too. I will never understand why they don't just have a conversation about this. Just for extra fun, she is the most bizarre gift giver, also, to the point that it has become an annual tradition that I show my friends what she got us. A small list of things we have gotten:

A couch cover with grapes on it
A sexy nightgown
A painting of the house they live in
A gourd painted to look like a cat eating a bird
A package of tea that I would have absolutely loved, stuffed with cheap tea bags
Children's Lego sets
Toy trains
Underwear that didn't fit either of us
A wooden board covered in seashells that is supposed to hold a curling iron
A waterproof bed cover

I could go on and on. Just to clarify this doesn't bother me or my husband at all, we actually get a kick out of the weirdness. I don't personally care about presents much, I'm more of an experiences person.

SO, if you've managed to get this far, how do you feel about gift giving/getting? Feel free to elaborate and give examples!

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr The whole obligatory gift exchanges need to end. If you happen to find something cool you think someone might like and want to give it to them, that’s fine, but I hate all the pressure to just find something, anything, something the person likely doesn’t want or need, just so you can say you didn’t forget. Everyone acts like I’m a curmudgeon when I suggest ending it, but they all dump the burden on me to buy gifts for each other then complain when it’s not good enough.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@ShredderFeeder @RickiTarr Exactly! And now people do silly things like exchange Amazon gift cards or shop directly off wishlists. It makes it all meaningless.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@ShredderFeeder @RickiTarr I love that. That’s much more memorable and hopefully appreciated.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

A couple of you suggested I watch Vivarium, so I did. I am still not okay! LOL

It was a great movie though, but Cheezers Rice, does it mess with your head.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I watched it at the beginning of the pandemic and it took a couple years for me to stop thinking about it. I still haven’t decided whether I’d recommend it to someone unless I thought they could handle being in that head space because it really does wedge itself inside you. Overall I think it’s worth watching if you want to see something different but won’t be negatively impacted by an extremely eerie, depressing, and disturbing vibe. Would you recommend it to others?

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr Exactly. On the one hand, I want people to see it because of its artistic value, but on the other hand, I’m not looking to traumatize people. Very few films have accomplished that for me.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

I watched Prime’s “Asteroid City.” Once again, I found myself wishing that Wes Anderson had a co-director on every project. Wes can handle the fabulous visuals and that magically surreal color palette and arrange all those symmetries he loves, while the other guy handles the storytelling.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq Both Wes Anderson and Tim Burton have this problem. They both have a very unique visual style that’s interesting to me, but their storytelling is lackluster at best. Guillermo del Toro is marginally better, but also suffers from the same problem for me. Then again, they are some of the most beloved directors so I’m obviously in the minority on this.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq Indulgent is a good word for it. John Waters shares the similar quality in the sense that he presents unique worlds and oddball characters, but his visual style is the opposite where it’s incredibly off putting (intentionally so). I have a hard time watching his films. I can’t say I’ve seen a Fellini film and I’ve only seen The Player from Altman. I kind of like something about that movie. It had ambiance. A terrible protagonist, but that was kind of the point.

augieray, to random
@augieray@mastodon.social avatar

I dedicate this post to the literal hundreds of people who have told me that COVID is now endemic and not still a pandemic.

WHO leader says COVID-19 is "still a pandemic"

A World Health Organization leader says she is worried people are still too eager to move on from COVID

https://www.salon.com/2024/01/04/leader-says-19-is-still-a-pandemic/

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@augieray People who bust into every thread like the Kool Aid man to tell everyone how it’s endemic not a pandemic remind me of people who say the US is a republic every time it’s referred to as a democracy.

Daojoan, to random
@Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar

Modern cinema obsesses over subverting expectations, mistaking it for quality storytelling. Yes, surprise can enhance a film, but relying solely on it has created a sea of ridiculous stories. Not to mention, constantly trying to make a fool out of your paying audience to prove you're smarter than them is blind arrogance.

Great cinema balances the unexpected with compelling, coherent storytelling that respects both the medium and its audience.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@Daojoan For me, I’m not even sure it’s the plot twists themselves, but the formulaic nature of storytelling that bothers me. Movies, books, and tv must follow certain beats to get released due to “audience expectations.” Once you’re familiar with it, it’s quite irritating. I know that this plot point will happen roughly on page 50 or at the 30 minute mark or whatever. The industries are quite open about it. Different genres might have different markers, but it all starts to feel the same.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Name a movie or TV series where none of the characters are actually good people. Explain why you think that.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I’m seeing all the ones I came to say have been said already like Sunny, Seinfeld, Succession, Breaking Bad, Arrested Development, etc., but adding Veep to the list. Every single person is cruel and power hungry, suffering from Dunning Kruger. I had difficulty watching that show to the end because it became so negative that it was no longer funny.

kickpedal, to random
@kickpedal@beige.party avatar

Frasier is the worst TV character ever created and I will not be taking questions

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr Because he sucks and the show was constantly foiling his plans. It’s satisfying to watch pompous jerks be humbled. Or at least that’s my theory. Also the supporting characters were great.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

I'm going to open up a discussion about how people actually live with Boundaries. This isn't a place to be judgemental about other people's choices, we all rationalize things, and make the best we can out of difficult circumstances.

Many of you know I care for my mother who is paraplegic, the level of care my husband and I give her is on the high end, it would be incredibly difficult for one person to do everything that would need to be done. This might sound ugly, but my mother was not a good mother, she frantically switched back and forth between helicopter parenting and outright neglect. She also doesn't think she has issues, and would never go to any therapy that wasn't "Christian" or take any kind of medication for mental health. I spent my childhood caring for her, my father and my siblings, and I still care for her. Understandably, people ask why, and it's a hard thing for me to answer. I do try very hard to set Boundaries with her now, but it probably isn't enough all the time, burn out is high for caregivers in the best of situations, and I can't pretend this is that. It feels like most of us compromise on something, especially with family.

So, what are your experiences with this kind of thing? What do you rationalize? What have you learned?
This is more about sharing personal experiences than to preach at people about their choices, so please keep that in mind when you reply.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it speaks volumes about your character. I’m not so good myself. It’s taken me decades to establish boundaries, but those boundaries are eating me away. I carry a guilt that weighs me down every day, especially as people age, get ill, or have other problems in their lives. But I simply can’t and won’t sacrifice myself to them any longer. They don’t respect, appreciate, or even like me. I rather live with the guilt than them.

sidereal, to random
@sidereal@kolektiva.social avatar

So many people are like "you do you" until I'm like "OK, I'm going to continue wearing a mask and stay at home" and then they wanna argue about that?

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@currentbias @sidereal Ah yes, the I’m not worried about your actual health just your mental health routine.

futurebird, to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

Ant behaviors are a charming & bewildering mix of innocent and adorable:

  • Spending a full hour grooming and feeding a newly eclosed baby sister.
  • Carrying a wounded sister home from battle so she can rest and fight again.
  • Saving extra food just in case for winter.

And terrifying and war-like:

  • The queen of the colony nextdoor is your aunt, but she & all your cousins MUST DIE.
  • Walking to the ant grave yard when you feel like you might die to save your sisters the trouble of moving you.
QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@futurebird Towards the end of the summer, the honeybees were dying, staggering around the patio like they were drunk. When they’d finally pass, the ants would come out and build burial sites over the bodies, stacking dead pine needles over the corpses. Eventually the sites and the bodies disappeared. I assume the ants moved them, but it was strange how they built an infrastructure around them in the meantime. I don’t know if they eat or bury them.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

Some think Deadwood is pure genius, while others find the early episodes so boring, they never get to the genius part. I’m in the latter camp, but not prepared to bail out on it just yet. How long does it take to get hooked?

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq I liked it until season 3, then I stopped watching midway through. It was so long ago that it’s possible I lost interest before then but I know I never finished it. I’d say if it hasn’t grabbed you early, you might not like it. Maybe finish season 1? The characters are what made that show from what I remember.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What is your Mandela Effect Memory?

If you aren't sure what I'm talking about here's a reference:

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/mandela-effect/

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I have no idea! I just see it written all the time. But looking it up, this is from Wikipedia: "to understand intuitively or by empathy, to establish rapport with" and "to empathize or communicate sympathetically (with); also, to experience enjoyment.” It just doesn’t visually seem like a real word to me.

QuietLurker,
@QuietLurker@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr Based on things I’ve seen you say, I think I’m slightly older than you. It sounds like it’s a word from a book I’ve never read. It makes sense that I see it on social media though because there’s a higher concentration of tech people on here who would be more likely to read sci-fi. So I suppose that could explain things.

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