joshsusser

@joshsusser@neurodifferent.me

not your typical neuron.
de gustibus non est disputandum.
black lives matter. trans people are people.
pronoun: he.
d.e.i.

#ActuallyAutistic #autistic #ADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #neurodiversity
#queer #SciFi #webdev #RubyProgramming #pastafarian
AKA @joshsusser

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joshsusser, to random

The Devil's greatest trick was getting everyone to call LLMs "Generative AI" when the only thing they can do is cobble together derivative works. That's like calling a battery a generator.

joshsusser, to random

The holiday dilemma:

Do I participate in the family holiday gift exchange, annoy everyone with my gifts because I can't tell what people actually like, and make everyone mad because I can't look happy enough when I open my presents?

OR, do I choose not to participate in a tradition that will do nothing but stress me out, and so make everyone mad because they insist that means I don't care about anyone and don't want to be part of the family?

joshsusser, to Autism

How do we get someone like Rebecca Watson to debunk #ABA and expose the billion dollar industry based on junk science psychology that abuses #autistic kids until they conform to neurotypical social norms at the cost of their own mental health and well-being?

ABA tldr: ABA is #AppliedBehaviorAnalysis and is gay conversion therapy for #autism. That's not just a metaphor - they are the very same thing used for different socially unacceptable "conditions". Both ABA and conversion therapy were created by the same person, Ivar Lovass, and use the same methods. Those training methods are so terrible they are literally not legal to use on dogs, and conversion therapy itself is illegal in many countries and US states. If any reasonable standards were applied, ABA would also be illegal.

I have tried to get journalists of all stripes interested in doing an ABA exposé, but even the ones who get interested never seem to be able to make it a priority. It's easy to deprioritize ABA reporting when there's no market for it, and even stories about routine physical abuse and electric shock torture of autistic kids at #JudgeRotenbergCenter don't break through, so I get why journalists don't bother. But we desperately need reporting on ABA that debunks the current mythology that it is helpful and justifies it being the only therapy for autistic kids that medical insurance will cover.

An ABA exposé segment by John Oliver could change everything, but he'll never do it because he's buddies with Jon Stewart who is a supporter of ABA and raises millions of dollars for ABA promoters like AutismSpeaks. (Surprise, Jon Stewart has an autistic son. It's often the autism parents who drink the ABA kool-aid because it lets them get their kids under control, and they don't know any better. Which is why we need reporting on it.)

We have four months until April, the dreaded Autism Awareness Month. Wouldn't it be nice if next year the month was about banning ABA instead of raising money for it? Anyone know anyone with a platform who is up for helping millions of autistic kids avoid a childhood of medically-approved abuse?

@actuallyautistic

joshsusser, (edited ) to ADHD

If you are hosting a holiday gathering where or folk will attend (or anyone else who would benefit), please consider setting up a as a quiet space where they can go to escape the sensory onslaught and draining socializing. You can ask people what they might like in a chill room, but snacks, family photo albums, coffee table books, plushies, puzzles, playing cards, comic books, fidget toys, and lego bricks are all reasonable things to try. And it doesn't have to be a solo space – a quiet, out-of-the-way spot to sit and have a conversation is also nice. Protip: If there is an aquarium in the home, use that to anchor the chill space. Nothing beats a good fish tank for chilling out, though a window with a picturesque view is a close second.

If you're someone who would love to have a chill room available at someone else's holiday gathering, try asking them to set one up, or maybe offer to help set it up if that's not too much trouble. Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Good luck with your holidays, make an effort to include the people whose needs usually get overlooked, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for not being able to keep up with the neurotypical social norms.

[We have another big holiday coming up, so bumping this post again.]

joshsusser, to Astronomy

should adopt the word disasteroid to talk about those apocalyptic impactors.

joshsusser, to animals

I used to have towel shelves. Now Meelo has a perch with a towel shelf attached.

joshsusser, to random

Is there a term for that kind of meltdown where you hold it all inside and pretend like nothing is wrong because not behaving properly would have terrible consequences so you somehow mostly manage it but then you really pay for it later?

joshsusser, to random

free rein: letting the horse steer itself.
free reign: the king doesn't charge for ruling you.
free rain: the usual kind.

joshsusser, to random

Meelo says have a cozy

joshsusser, to ADHD

As holidays will soon be upon us, some bad gift ideas for folk:

  • a day planner
  • books
  • concert tickets
  • gift cards that expire soon
  • gift cards that never expire
  • houseplants

(someone gave me an orchid last month and I already killed it)

joshsusser, to Autism

Does telling an allistic person you're ever help improve communication? Over and over, I let people know I'm autistic in hopes it will help, but it never makes things better. It seems like no one wants to do the reading, or to make an effort to even meet me halfway. The main reactions I get when I disclose fall into these categories:

  • Ignore it entirely and just keep on like I'm not autistic.
  • Say I'm nothing like their 10 year old nephew who has .
  • Assume that since we're friends it doesn't matter, because friendship is magic and will enable me to "overcome my autism" with them if I am just motivated enough, and if they aren't special enough for me to do that then I don't really value them as a friend.
  • Give advice on how I can mask better for their comfort and convenience, like I haven't spent my whole life becoming expert on that.
  • Try to be accommodating without taking the time to learn what is helpful and what is just going to make things worse.
  • Infantilize me and treat me like a child or an intellectually disabled person.
  • Give up on me because autistic people are too hard to deal with.
  • No reaction, because most people don't know anything about autism. They don't even understand that I'm doing all the work to bridge the communication gap, or that they could do anything to help, or even cut me some slack when I fail.

I do have a couple allistic friends who accommodate me enough to maintain a decent relationship, but they are rare and special. And we had somehow worked that out before I knew I was even, so telling them still didn't change much.

Has anyone had communication improve by telling someone you're autistic? Or is that just a fantasy?

joshsusser, to animals

Some days Meelo is too adorable for words

joshsusser, to StarTrek

We have seen two so far, and the best thing I can say about them is that they are over quickly. I can't tell who the intended audience is for these Officially Not Canon vingettes, but it doesn't seem to be life-long fans of . These jokes do not land with me. Is this intentional? We have seen decades of fan humor that is funny while respecting our love of the franchise, so we know it's not that hard to pull off. The entire Lower Decks series is proof it can be done and done well. So we know they know how to do it, but instead we get this crap. Sometimes I have to think there are people at Paramount who just hate Star Trek and can't stand that they have to produce a show that's about how great diversity and equality are.

joshsusser, to ADHD

We need better words for talking about in ways that aren't pathological, clinical, or derisive. I don't think it's useful to try to think up neologisms on the spot, but I keep my eyes open for new terminology that might arise organically in conversation. Any new words folks are using that are worth sharing?

The word "neurodiversity" itself is kind of new, and it's already been through a bit of an evolution and maybe even has tainted origins, but it's a good word and there's a reason so many of us use it. But even so, I wish it didn't sound so medical. (The evolution I mention is that "neurodiverse" used to mean "not neurotypical", but now generally is used to mean all neurotypes including neurotypical. We use "neurodivergent" for "not neurotypical" now. Likewise "neurotypical" used to mean not autistic, but we say "allistic" for that now.)

A few hashtags that could use an upgrade:

joshsusser, to ADHD

Developers of to-do and reminder apps need to understand that they cannot interrupt the capture workflow for any reason. I just opened iOS Reminders and had to quickly dismiss a couple new feature announcement dialogs that blocked operation entirely, because if I stopped to read them I would forget what I went there to capture so I wouldn't forget it. I managed it, but instead I didn't get to see the new feature descriptions.
of course

joshsusser, to random

The website I find myself wishing for most often would be a bunch of audio or video clips of all the public figures pronouncing their own names.

joshsusser, to random

I am so disgusted with every news organization that calls obviously racist mass murder "racially-motivated" simply because racists get mad when you call them racist.

joshsusser, to lotr

Listening to the audiobook, and here's the the Council of Elrond. Can't help but think this chapter is to blame for how much nerds like having meetings.

joshsusser, to StarTrek

There are nearly 900 episodes of shows now. And with that large a body of work, it's not hard to notice recurring themes. I'm sure all of us know what a holodeck episode is, or a mirror universe episode, or a time travel episode. I got to wondering how many of these easily-recognizable genres of episodes there are. So @autismsupsoc and I noodled out a list of episode genres.

Each of these genres has at least three episodes it applies to, and should be useful to say something like "I could watch a transporter accident episode today". For example, "alien sex ghost" describes the episodes about Zephram Cochran's shimmery girlfriend cloud, Beverly's candle ghost, Deanna's dream impregnator, and Jake's muse. Some of these include subgenres, like "space creature" includes both "space monster" and "space whale".

  • aliens experiment on the ship
  • alien sex ghost
  • All-Powerful Being
  • altered memories
  • body snatchers
  • character spotlight
  • computer runs the world
  • courtroom drama
  • Devastating Transformation of Crew Member is Endured then Reverted
  • evil AI
  • good AI
  • hijinks
  • holodeck
  • last of their kind
  • mind control parasites
  • mirror universe
  • Nazis
  • old scientist with hot wife
  • people out of time
  • possibly real afterlife
  • Prime Directive
  • space creature
  • spacetime anomaly
  • time travel
  • transporter accident

Some of these could use a more pithy name. Suggestions welcome.

joshsusser, to actuallyautistic

I read that HHS report on the . I suppose it's good that the issue is getting some attention, but I was disappointed the report's focus was on "normal" people who are lonely because of circumstances and breakdown of social infrastructure. Disabled people are included in a few lists of groups getting the worst of things, but people aren't mentioned at all, unless you think the umbrella use of "mental health" counts. How ridiculous is that? We're left out of the report about people getting left out.

Is there a sign I can say "don't make me tap" about that explains how making societal changes to accommodate the people who need it most makes things better for everyone, but if you focus on making things better for the majority who already have it mostly OK you just make things worse overall?

https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/03/new-surgeon-general-advisory-raises-alarm-about-devastating-impact-epidemic-loneliness-isolation-united-states.html

@actuallyautistic

joshsusser, to random

Shadenfreude Overdose would be a good name for a band. Especially this month.

joshsusser, to random

I made myself finish watching just to see how bad it would be. More than anything, it was BORING. Worst thing in the MCU so far. But, silver lining... some of the extremely negative review videos on YouTube are pretty funny. So if you feel you wasted those hours and won't ever get them back, you can maybe get a small return on your investment by enjoying some clever excoriations. Just search the show title on YouTube and eat your fill.

joshsusser, to random

season-spanning cliffhangers piss me off! 😠

joshsusser, to Youtube

Ugh. The "Don't Recommend Channel" feature is so bad. On the app, there is no confirmation or undo, so it's terribly easy to accidentally zap a channel. Also, there is no way to view or edit the list of zapped channels - all you can do is reset the list and start over from scratch. So if you meant to ignore ("not interested") a particular video but your finger slipped and you accidentally zapped one of your favorite channels, you have to throw out years of curation to get that one back in your recommendations. And that's what I had to do yesterday. It's so bad seeing all that crap in my home page now. And it's going to take me days if not weeks to restore all my zaps. They really need to upgrade this feature, pronto!

Some broad categories of channels I zap out of my recommendations:

  • AI-generated content
  • regularly has spoilers in the title or thumbnail, especially channels that are just clips of TV shows
  • extremists including TERFs, MAGAs, ableists, anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and flat-earthers
  • stupid news stations or networks, and fake universities
  • anything with that ubiquitous asshole Simon Whistler (this one change made YT 1000% better)
joshsusser, to random

Where do we find a billionaire backer to fund a foundation to support a network of education and recovery centers?

I can't count how many autistics friends I've daydreamed with about having a place to go to get support when you're too deeply burned out to function or recover on your own. Kind of like how celebrities go to rehab when they need a reset, but with less talk and more kittens. I know this is a silly pipe dream, but it would seriously help a lot of folks if there were really such a resource.

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