@kyleejohnson@jawns.club
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

kyleejohnson

@kyleejohnson@jawns.club

Recovering CIO. Edge-case pedantic. Runs with scissors. Won’t speak on all male panels. Physical nomad currently residing in Philadelphia who works in municipal government IT. 🙋‍♂️he/him/his.

Big fan of #DoctorWho #StarTrek. Hobbiest into #RaspberryPi and #HomeAssistant. Avid #SCUBA diver. Still enjoy talking about #technology although I tend to look at it through the lens of #SocialJustice now.

#fedi22

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davidnjoku, to random
@davidnjoku@mastodon.world avatar

Dear <Insert business name here>, I will NOT go online and leave a review of your service. It has been 4 months since you provided that service but you insist on emailing me every Wednesday urging me to leave a review. Every. Freaking. Wednesday.

I will not be bullied.
I will NOT be bullied.

I can not be bullied from the spam folder.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@davidnjoku @indigenous_commentator I always do those reviews. I give them one star and then in the comment put “You badgered me so much via email about doing a review, that I finally gave in and did one. Would definitely not recommend to anyone.”

Then I mark their email as spam. Every once in a while if I'm mad enough I report them for violating the CAN-SPAM Act. Do I think it does anything? No. Do I feel better? Yes.

joni, to random
@joni@mastodon.yupgup.com avatar

I don’t eat white potatoes except for 1-2 times a month I’ll steal a couple tater tots from children. I can’t believe these exist. We don’t deserve them.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@joni I agree. Children are little miracles.

Oh wait. Were you talking about the tater tots? They’re good too.

Eamon1916, to random

deleted_by_author

    •
    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @Eamon1916 @MaggieCi

    Lilo and Stitch doing a little dance move of celebration.

    saramg, to random
    @saramg@fosstodon.org avatar

    Hiring a software engineer in their late 40s:

    Pros:

    • Understands your stack better than you do after glancing through the repo for five minutes.
    • Will rewrite said stack 2x as fast, and half as buggy if you let them.

    Cons:

    • Gives zero fucks.
    • Knows we're not really like family here.
    • No, seriously, absolutely zero fucks given.

    Do not cite the deep magic to me, product manager, I was there when it was written.

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @saramg @llorenzin I view zero fucks to give as a feature, not a bug. Also applies to those of us in management, but it kicks in a little later.

    kyleejohnson, to random
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    Look, losing a chunk of I-95 is bad, but this is probably my favorite “in depth reporting" on a really important issue around this - how Philly this guy's Philly accent is.

    https://billypenn.com/2023/06/11/philadelphia-accent-example-hoagiemouth-highway-collapse/

    jamigibbs, to random
    @jamigibbs@hachyderm.io avatar

    Home ownership. Amiright?

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @jamigibbs

    Nicki Minaj Queen GIF

    jynersolives, to random
    @jynersolives@mastodon.social avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @jynersolives Right there with you. Right before COVID I got out of a toxic industry where you succeeded by sacrificing your entire being to the cause. I still want to do good work for someone, and I ensure the work I do is aligned with my compensation, but I’m more driven to contentment and a full life than to "success.”

    kyleejohnson, to random
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    I'm still kind of new to Philly. Should I just assume that every side street, outlet, and anything that connects I-95 to any other major road is going to be clogged to a stand still for the next 3 - 6 months? I live at the edge of Center City, so if I'm going out in my car, should I just add an hour to every trip?

    the_etrain, to random
    @the_etrain@beige.party avatar

    Why do new appliances play a jaunty little tune to let you know they're done? For a full month, I'd run outside with a handful of cash thinking the ice cream truck was coming. But, nope. Stupid dryer.

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @the_etrain @Talia_christine I wish my dryer did that. Instead it's all passive aggressive. It stops without a single comment or noise, daring me to fail to notice while it sits there wrinkling my clothes. The washer is in on it too. No finish sound, and it will stop for over a minute to get me off the couch and then do one more drain cycle as soon as I get close to it. It's like it's sitting there yelling SUCKER at me.

    jerry, to random

    I don’t understand the law and order party’s problem. If he can’t do the time, he shouldn’t have done the crime, and if he’s innocent, he has nothing to fear from the court and the police.

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @jerry for the Law and Order party, law and order clearly means “we made the laws to keep the rif raf in order.” In their minds, the law was never meant to apply to them.

    Annalee, to random
    @Annalee@wandering.shop avatar


    I wonder if former presidents are still entitled to burial at Arlington Nat with full honors if they get convicted of federal crimes

    If that's not a rule yet, the Marine Corps still has some time to make it a rule before he gets convicted. Cause you know he's going to insist on Arlington, and guarding his grave is going to become the worst detail in the entire service

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @Annalee I feel like the Secret Service should make a rule that convicted felons don't get protection anymore either. Although maybe the protection thing is in some statute somewhere that needs to change, which means it won't get changed. I saw an article where someone said the Turd wouldn't get prison time because Secret Service wouldn't be able to protect him there. Maybe find the MAGA Secret Service folks who love him and let them live in prison with him?

    sluttymayo, to random
    @sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

    selling shit on the internet you get stuff like "hey can you take 20% of your asking price and deliver it 3 hours away at midnight" and the bastards aren't even trying to murder you, they're just that delusional. cowardice, kill me if you can and you can keep the humidifier you fucker

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @sluttymayo @Talia_christine I had a couch I was giving away for free and three separate people asked me if I would deliver it more than an hour away.

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @sluttymayo

    The Grinch Smiling GIF by The Good Films

    dariusw, to random

    Gen-X sick day:

    Ginger ale
    The Price is Right

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @dariusw @AmandaWeaver how dare you say I drank Schweppes. It was not a true sick day unless it was sponsored by Canada Dry.

    kyleejohnson, to random
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    How bad is the smoke in Philly? Here’s a picture of the sun headed towards sunset.

    molly0xfff, to random
    @molly0xfff@hachyderm.io avatar

    cursed sentence

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @molly0xfff

    Carton of a person turning over their keyboard to press a NOPE button. This activates a space laser that disintegrates them.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    I'm a huge Marvel nerd.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @lowqualityfacts He's my favorite Avenger.

    debrawexler, to random

    White House launches website to track infrastructure & manufacturing investments. The MAGA right embraces RFK, Jr. George Santos loses bid to maintain anonymity of his bail guarantors. Mark Meadows testified before both Special Counsel grand juries in DC; a third grand jury is now meeting in Florida. Wildfire smoke triggers air quality alerts throughout northeastern U.S. Ukrainian dam collapse destroys homes of 16,000+ people. Plus more.

    https://inthepapers.substack.com/p/what-im-reading-june-6-2023

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @debrawexler my "favorite" one of that stack is Santos saying, “I'd rather go to jail than expose the people who bailed me out," and the judge being like, “Fine by me.”

    Hawaii, to random
    @Hawaii@mastodon.world avatar

    I wonder how much it would cost to get one of these shipped to ?

    Home Depot is selling tiny homes you can build yourself for less than $50,000 https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/jun/05/home-depot-tiny-home-plus-1?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @Hawaii you could probably have someone ship to it you UPS one piece at a time. Given you need to get local permits, if you start today the house will still probably arrive 12 - 18 months before you get your permits (based on my experience living in Hawaiʻi).

    waldoj, to random
    @waldoj@mastodon.social avatar

    AFAIK, the only profession in which people must work 24-hour shifts as a matter of course is doctors, in their residencies. There are a lot of professions about which one might argue that it’s OK to have sleep-deprived people doing their jobs. Medicine is not one of those.

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @waldoj we lived next door to a bunch of residents once. They said never go to the hospital in July. It’s the first month of residencies, so if you go in July you’re their early test subjects.

    GottaLaff, to random
    @GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

    💥 👉🏼Chuck Todd to leave ’s ‘Meet the Press’; Welker will become host

    The transition will happen in September, a major change at one of broadcast television oldest institutions

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/media/2023/06/04/chuck-todd-leaving-meet-the-press-welker/?utm_campaign=wp_main&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @GottaLaff Either NBC finally figured out Todd is worthless on that show and promoted him to get him off the air, or Todd just plain old failed up.

    waldoj, to random
    @waldoj@mastodon.social avatar

    Do tweens mumble as a matter of course? Is this a Thing? 80% of what my 11-year-old says lately must be met by my wife or I asking “what?”

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @waldoj It's like the cycle of Cicada reemergence. Every 11 - 13 years you can't hear much of what your family says. I am currently in my second re-deafness period with my spouse. 80% of what we she says to me is met with "what?!?” Close families have been know to have their cycles come into sync, which makes for weird family dynamics.

    llorenzin, to random

    Just realizing what a huge difference it makes every day to walk into a room that looks like this…

    Center view of my office, with treadmill desk and project table - no clutter, no floor mess
    Right side view of my office - project table is clear, no mess on floor

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @llorenzin

    In Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

    gsuberland, to random
    @gsuberland@chaos.social avatar
    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @gsuberland @indigenous_commentator Made a small edit.

    jptoto, to random

    This is what it’s like to live with small children. This bag of pretzel chips was put back in the pantry like this.

    kyleejohnson,
    @kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

    @jptoto did they leave you 2 teaspoons of milk to go with it?

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