I was harassed and aggressed today while going about my day and trying to enjoy my lunch in the fresh air after being sick all week. For 15 minutes another patron of the restaurant berated and insulted me (pretending to speak to themselves, but so that I could hear).
My partner and I ignored it as much as we could, not wanting to cause the scene. A typical autistic trauma response, of course, the victim always not wanting to “make a big deal” of things. Even I’m guilty of that at times. After 15 minutes we could bare it no longer.
We finally both said something and spoke to this bully the way anyone SHOULD confront a bully. Forceful, direct, and without fear. Those of you who know me and met me IRL know that I can be loud and boisterous when I’m passionate or angry about something.
Obviously, once confronted, as bullies often do, he backed down, complaining about OUR tone. His insults stopped. But it didn’t need to get that far. Even I, who advocate on a daily basis and try to impart advocacy to others, can fall into being the victim.
It’s normal. We can’t always fight and can’t always speak up. Sometimes we are tired. Sometimes we just want it to stop. Maybe we don’t want to deal with it anymore. Losing spoons to a bully is less spoon intensive than advocacy. It’s true sometimes.
That’s why allies are so important. That’s why we need to stick together. We need to stand up for each other. Yes, stand up for ourselves, but also our fellow autistic (and all) humans. We don’t always have the energy to fight. Be kind to one another and stand up for what’s right
I am looking to hire a social worker or equivalent in Ontario for 5-10hrs/mo. Eastern ON area, but can likely do remote.
Need someone hip with the complex bureaucracy of supports. But more importantly someone innovative, wanting to explore and foster change and create new things - because existing supports are shite.
Experience with autism, chronic illness, medical CPTSD would be super helpful.
Need help with both lining up immediate mundane survival supports. (Including help making phone calls to places I can't access via email) as well as big picture planning and logistics to get me moved to #Guelph and set up in something healthier and more sustainable.
Hit me with questions, and please boost or share with anyone that might be interested. Thx! 💖
Location: Tricities, British Columbia, Canada 🇨🇦(Pacific Standard Time)
#HeavyMetal Maniac, #MyLittlePony fanatic and perennial weirdo. Proud #Cat uncle to one #FIV Male (Zen) and one Semi-Feral rescue Female (Cerium), and #Snake uncle to one female #BallPython (Cali/Snek).
A common #ActuallyAutistic experience (I've had personally and have heard many others report) is confusion about how to respond to the criticism that someone reporting a problem or complaint doesn't want solutions or advice, they "just want you to listen".
Like, if it's a problem, why wouldn't you want it solved? I'm supposed to just sit here and nod and say "gee that sucks for you" while you suffer, and that's supposedly "empathy"?? Witaf?
If you understood that you're #ActuallyAutistic because of going into #AutisticBurnout due to your job, you are NOT alone. You are NOT broken. You were driven to that point by your needs not being met. After the burnout you can begin anew.
After a lifetime of being misunderstood and gaslit, being in intentional #ActuallyAutistic spaces is a life changing thing. If you’re a late identified autistic adult and want to connect, learn, and affirm with others in a space that you can unmask and BE YOU, consider joining my new group starting next week.
After a lifetime of being misunderstood and gaslit, being in intentional #ActuallyAutistic spaces is a life changing thing. If you’re a late identified autistic adult and want to connect, learn, and affirm with others in a space that you can unmask and BE YOU, consider joining my new group starting next week.
I never learned, nor was I born with the ability to treat people in authority as being different to everyone else.
I just don't get it. I'll say the same stuff, except the same behaviour from them, and get extremely confused by how others react to them. How it is for me.
Some of us have been chatting about how inadequate and unhelpful the questions in the official autism screening questionnaires are. Makes me wonder, what questions would you include?
I think I would go for:
Do you REALLY LIKE ENTHUSIASTIC EARNEST UNCOOL people?
Do you ask questions because you want to know something, and then get accused of being arrogant or insubordinate?
Do you often find yourself trying not to be too earnest or too serious when you're around others?
Do people tell you that you're quite different once they get to know you than you seem at first impression?
Do you need to talk out loud (to yourself or to another person) to process difficult emotions?
When you were a child (or now) did you really want to be an animal?
Do you find it easier to understand animals than humans?
Do you prefer to visit people, rather than having them in your own space?
Do people often think you're angry when you're just neutral?
Maybe my pathological demand avoidance is just #ActuallyAutistic me, protecting myself from getting burned out because of irrational, neurotypical nonsense. @actuallyautistic
I've never been good at being catty or passive aggressive, even though people really seem to think I'm doing so. Sometimes it's an uphill battle convincing them I mean exactly what I'm saying...no more, no less 🙃
I need your opinion on something #ActuallyAutistic comrades. I hold weekly free discussion circles about a number of topics. A NT professional working with autistic people has asked me to join in order to "observe" how I work before they can refer those that they work with to my groups.
Is this a reasonable ask? Is this ableist? While I do appreciate that fact that people shouldn't recommend things that they haven't tried, I also find it problematic for someone who isn't autistic to question the style of how an autistic person works. But I'm not sure. What do you guys think?
I got my official diagnosis as autistic yesterday. :infinity_rainbow: Im happy with the diagnosis and relieved to be done with this anxiety indulcing assessment process. And (in theory) the diagnosis gives me access to some legal protections, like asking for accommodations at work, which is why I decided to get assessed in the first place.
I was also assessed for ADHD. Even though all my ADHD assessments show a high probability of having ADHD, and that the ADHD characteristics I present have a significant negative impact on my life. I was not diagnosed with ADHD as well.
According to the psychologist who did my assessment, a person with ADHD could not have accomplished the things I have accomplished. From her perspective, I was able to keep my life together enough over the years, and all the ADHD related characteristics I present are due to autism + anxiety and depression. 🤷🏻
This all seems very arbitrary and ableist to me. I know that some professionals would use those very same arguments to say that I'm not autistic.
For the past few months, even without an official diagnosis, I have had access to ADHD treatment and have been taking ritalin. The drug has had a significant positive impact on my ability to do tasks that require I focus for more than 15 minutes, like programming, studying, or practicing art. Before, even if I was really interested in those tasks, I either would not be able to do them or I would do them but be miserable all along because I would be fighting myself all the way. With ritalin, I get to do those tasks Im interested in and actually enjoy them, which bring me such joy and relief. If my access to this treatment is now cut, I'll have to seek out a second opinion.
Think about the people who discover the hashtag #ActuallyAutistic.
Yes, sometimes you'll believe that there are so many of us after all that we should live well being neurodivergent.
Just remember that, whatever our support needs, we live very significantly shorter lives than many other identities.
It's not just the pain of being or not being into the neuro-normative. [Which isn't so bad if you hate microbes].
#ActuallyAutistic#AskAnAutistic Modern medicine has failed me so spectacularly, I'm thinking of trying edibles for my anxiety. (They're legal and easily obtainable where I live.) Anything I should watch out for? I tend to be very sensitive to medication dosages and sometimes have unusual reactions.
Ideally I want something I can use during the day and for driving, because that's my largest source of anxiety.
My therapist thinks I should try ketamine therapy but I don't think any of my doctors would prescribe it. They won't prescribe ativan either, even though I used it very cautiously and still had so much left over, it all literally turned to dust before I could use it.