watching #QI. An infinity of mathematicians go into a bar and place an order. "I'll have a pint, a half pint, a quarter pint, an eighth, an ounce.." The barman says "I'll stop you there," and pours out two pints. "The problem with you mathematicians is you don't know your limits" #math#joke
People are always like, "Take a walk in my shoes." And I'm like, "Nah, I have small feet, my feet would be swimming in those! Plus...how badly do your feet smell?"
So my new #joke format is this: An icosahedron goes up to a dodecahedron and says "Ay gurl, you wanna come over to my place and roll a 20? (or insert whatever #rizz you like, the joke's really just an excuse to make up comical rizz)" and then the dodecahedron says "uh...I think we should keep things platonic."
Anyhoo, here's bonus #ai#slop in which 1st #Bing search result for platonic solids includes...two cones that are not platonic solids, and neither of our two lovers #geometry#internet
The old #Soviet#joke about a man who stands near the Kremlin handing out leaflets: when the police finally arrest him, they see that the leaflets are all blank. “Well,” the man says, “everyone knows what’s wrong, why should I write it down?”
Doing yard work with kiddo yesterday, he hopped into the wheelbarrow. So, obviously, it becomes a joke and not just a ride.
“Welcome to Wheelbarrow Airlines, where we have a better safety record than Boeing.” #DadJoke#joke
He asks, “Where are we going?”
“I’m glad you asked, but Wheelbarrow Airlines employees are strictly prohibited from discussing the location or itineraries of customers with anyone, including customers.” #DadJoke#joke
“Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Wheelbarrow Airlines is not liable for any injuries by passengers who exit the vehicle while in motion. Note that the captain has put the seatbelt light.”
Him: “But there’s no seat belt!”
“Wheelbarrow Airlines is not legally required to supply seat belts.” #DadJoke#joke
Did you know that before the release of the film Alien (1979) starring Sigourney Weaver...
...people had to weave their own sigourneys by hand?