donni

donni, 1 year ago to random

When there was only one set of footprints, that was when I ditched you

donni, 1 year ago to random

If a tree falls in a forest, who cares? If a tree flies through the forest, hell-bent on vengeance...well, that's different

donni, 1 year ago to random

gets chased down the street by angry mob
chases angry mob back up the street

donni, 1 year ago to random

Shout out to dogs who don’t bark when you walk by, but give you a VERY concerned look

donni, 1 year ago to random

If everyone got the love they need, that would be good. But if bears could fly, that would be bad. Life all about balance

donni, 1 year ago to random

INTERVIEWER: Any questions?
ME: Do vegetables feel pain?
INTERVIEWER: About the job
ME: I’m looking for a job where vegetables feel pain

donni, 1 year ago to random

Does coffee agree with my tummy? NO. Will I ever stop drinking it? ALSO NO. That is simply not my problem, until it is, every time

donni, 1 year ago to random

Sex is a scam invented by former babies to make new babies

donni, 1 year ago to random

Does anyone want to get some food or flee the planet together

donni, 1 year ago to random

We are all made of stars! Gassy, ancient, tired, probably exploding soon

donni, 1 year ago to random

I scream. You scream. A couple more people join in. Soon, the scream craze is sweeping the nation

donni, 1 year ago to random

The grass is always greener before climate change destroys all plant life on Earth

donni, 1 year ago to random

I am going to miss the slow collapse of society when it becomes the rapid collapse

donni, 1 year ago to random

Productivity threads always look like

“A Path To Better Value [1/23]: I have always been a different kind of creator. My left foot has a freckle. My uncle was once shipwrecked. Here are 7 ways I use my skills to get extra condiments at fast food restaurants”

donni, 1 year ago to random

Man is the only animal that calls itself Dave

donni, 1 year ago to random

I’d like to form an alliance with various birds

donni, 1 year ago to random

On a dark desert highway / Kool-Aid in my hair / Just hit the Kool-Aid Man / There's glass and Kool-Aid everywhere

donni, 1 year ago to random

May your enemies realize you’re actually very nice and regret not hanging out with you

donni, 1 year ago to random

Some people say Earth is doomed, but others are not so optimistic

donni, 1 year ago to random

I only worry about two things: The past and the future. Also, right now is troubling

donni, 1 year ago to random

The first person to keep a bird in their house was a huge weirdo

donni, 1 year ago to random

Sorry I didn’t call you back. Forgot my phone could do that

donni, 1 year ago to random

I get knocked down, but I get up again briefly, complain a lot, then lie back down voluntarily

donni, 1 year ago to random

Very few socks mate for life

donni, 1 year ago to random

Sorry, I’ve been in a weird mood lately for several years