HobbitFoot,

lol

gravitas_deficiency,

Lmao what the actual fuck 🤣

ZeroCool,

Taylor Swift stole my pic-a-nic basket!

betterdeadthanreddit,

Somebody’s playing with the cursed Mad Libs booklet again.

ouRKaoS,

Japan gets the Death Note, America gets the Conspiracy Mad Lib…

That seems fair.

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

My right wing neighbor dropped this conspiracy on me a few months ago, when Kelce and Swift just started dating. His thought was that Kelce had a COVID vaccine commercial, and the government was using him and Swift to reach a broader population of little girls to brainwash them into getting the vaccine for the “fake disease”.

I haven’t followed up with him on it, but now that the Chiefs are in the Super Bowl, I’m sure he’s doubling down on his crazy conspiracy theory. I guess I shouldn’t say “his” theory. I didn’t realize it at the time, because I don’t mainline Fox News and News Max, but I guess this must have been something my neighbor heard on some crazy show at some point.

kersploosh,
@kersploosh@sh.itjust.works avatar

It would be funny if it wasn’t also scary. These people are unhinged.

ZagamTheVile,

And most of them are armed.

JJROKCZ,

Nothing is stopping sane Americans from being armed as well, don’t let the magas have all the firepower.

toasteecup,

Oh boy, I love stealing the superb owl from idiots.

hightrix,

This is so incredibly stupid.

NFL fans around the league, regardless of political faction, have been calling the Taylor Swift Super Bowl since the relationship was announced. It isn’t right wingers doing this.

Just wait. We will see Taylor Swift lift the Super Bowl trophy next to Mahomes and Kelce. It’ll be plastered all over everything for a month.

Jaysyn,
Jaysyn avatar

But only Fascists & Conservatives are brain-dead stupid enough to actually believe this is some kind of conspiracy & that the other however many teams in the Chief's conference would go along with it.

It's staggeringly stupid, but if you can believe in a magical old man living in the sky that watches you masturbate, you can believe in anything.

A7thStone,

Don’t kink shame god. It gets boring up in heaven.

Daft_ish,

I would say it’s not a kink if there is no consent. Except if the all powerful creator of the universe wants to watch me wank it, you know what, go ahead. Just remember where your bread got buttered space man and maybe conjure up a few days off for your creation.

ZeroCool,

It isn’t right wingers doing this.

It’s pretty annoying when people are obviously just responding to the headline. Read the damn article. It’s about specific right wingers pushing the conspiracy theory. So in this case, yes. It is in fact, right wingers doing this.

kofe,

It’s almost like it’s the chiefs’ fourth Superbowl with Mahomes and they’re a decent team to place bets on. Though as a native to KC it’s a bit wild considering the regular season they just played. I like to think the guys I know shitting on Kelce for not having his best year are feeling like assholes for being so sexist about how “women ruin men’s careers.”

RizzRustbolt,

A centrally located team for a centrist candidate.

JimmyBigSausage,

Annnnnd now X (formerly known as Twitter) is banning search for “Taylor Swift” due to AI fakes. But really it is to mute her potential powerbroker endorsement of Biden. Seriously.

muse,
muse avatar

Fairly certain Musk is not playing 5d chess and this is just a lovely coincidence for him

ChicoSuave,

At this point I’m not sure Elon even knows how to play regular chess.

harry_balzac,

He’d refuse even if he knew because the Queens are “too woke.”

lemmylommy,

Is that the game in which you shit on the board and declare yourself the winner?

KnightontheSun,

You misheard her. She said, “Shit on my chest!”

Semi-Hemi-Demigod, (edited )
Semi-Hemi-Demigod avatar

Taylor should start her own Fediverse instance

Edit: Get Margot Robbie to help out since she's already been here, ostensibly

Jaysyn,
Jaysyn avatar

And you fascist fucks are powerless to do anything about it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

taanegl,

That has to be the lamest conspiracy theory of 2024, and we’re only in January. Strap in, kids. It’s election year and it’s finna be a doozy.

xor,

actually, they have been planning a new series of incredibly complex conspiracies with almost no payoff, as a conspiracy to make regular conspiracies seem less plausible…

DragonTypeWyvern,

Some kind of Big Lie you might say

taanegl,

Cue the anon.

Donjuanme,

The officiating crew they had at that game, and how many times they cut to her, it doesn’t make me tinfoil hat, but it does remind me the NFL is almost entirely profit driven.

Also comparing comment threads (on YouTube) of the games yesterday, it’s amazing how much more derision is stirred when the officials seem to have bias (chiefs ravens), compared to when the game is called with restraint (49ers lions). The niners lions comments were downright civil, while Ravens and Chiefs were openly hostile.

Spot,
@Spot@startrek.website avatar

Far-right influencer Rogan O’Handley went so far as to suggest that if the Chiefs won the Super Bowl, Swift and Kelce would trigger an apocalyptic chain of events that would kill millions. “You MUST defeat the Chiefs,” O’Handley wrote in an X post addressed to the San Francisco 49ers. “If you don’t, Mr. Pfizer and his girlfriend are going to tour the country as ‘world champions’ helping elect Joe Biden WW3 will likely follow in a 2nd Biden term and millions will die. The fate of the free world rests upon your shoulders”

Just wow. Only a tidbit of the crazy they are spouting in this article.

SVcross,
@SVcross@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t want what he is having.

someguy3, (edited )

I don’t get it, do the Chiefs have Swift and Kelce as spokespeople or something? Why would they tour with Chiefs, if that’s what they’re saying.

PlasticExistence,

Your mistake is trying to understand crazy

JJROKCZ,

Travis Kelce plays for the chiefs, Taylor and Travis are dating. Taylor is present at many chiefs games and almost surely will be at the Super Bowl. Taylor is very outspoken about the need to vote, rarely if ever says who to vote for but presses the need to have your voice heard. Republicans and other fascists know that their policies are wildly unpopular, especially with the youth, and so hate the idea of anyone encouraging the youth or anyone else to vote and possibly outnumber the hateful citizens that normally vote for republicans

someguy3,

Had to look up this Kelce fellow. He has earrings? Oh noooo (for right wingers).

lemmylommy,

If the guy is endorsing a team from San Francisco, the capital of libruls and the gay, he must be part of the conspiracy.

pachrist,

Absolutely. If anyone is going to stop socialism, Jewish space lasers, and the San Francisco 49ers, it’s a guy from Kansas with a mustache and his blonde country singer girlfriend.

Really feels like conservatives picked the wrong side here?

Riccosuave,
@Riccosuave@lemmy.world avatar
PrincessLeiasCat,

millions will die

Didn’t seem to care about that too much during Covid, not sure why it’s a problem for him now.

Sabata11792,
Sabata11792 avatar

Trump sycophant Laura Loomer wrote on X that “the Democrats’ Taylor Swift election interference psyop is happening in the open… They are going to use Taylor Swift as the poster child for their pro-abortion GOTV Campaign.”

This shit sounds like deepfried AI hallucinations, but I know people are actually that dumb.

Drunemeton,
@Drunemeton@lemmy.world avatar

Remember every accusation is a confession…

M137,
@M137@lemmy.world avatar

And they’ll somehow always find ways to bring you to a loss for words even when you expect the absolutely deepest level of stupidity and craziness you can imagine. These past handful of years have just been a constant shattering of expectations of how dumb and fucked up people manage to be. And 90% of it is coming from right-wing fanatics.

Sabata11792,
Sabata11792 avatar

Normal people are not equipped for the power of the internet.

EmergMemeHologram,

I don’t get it.

Why would the cabal, the super influential group secretly controlling all our actions, need a football team to win the superbowl to defeat them, and why would they, in all their Machiavellian wisdom, not have considered the 50% chance event that their football team loses?

Why would they pick Biden for another term then start WW3? Why not just start it now if that’s what they want and he’s already their puppet? They’ve had 3 years and there’s certainly enough political tinder in the world to start a fire.

None of this makes any coherent sense.

EmergMemeHologram,

You know what, I’ve thought about this some more and the reasoning is clear.

If the 49ers win, they’ll inadvertantly resurrect Harvey Milk, who will kill JFK (who faked his own death and has been lying in wait), who will then be unable to reclaim the last months of his presidency (his term was never officially ended you know) which he planned to use to restore Donald Trump to power. Harvey Milk will then become president and make heterosexuality illegal and force us to live in 15 minute neighborhoods.

That must be their angle! They win either way!

sangriaferret,

Nailed it

prowess2956,

Excuse my ignorance, but is there something going around about 15-minute neighborhoods? Someone pretty kooky mentioned something about that to me just today (in relation to Chattanooga, I think, but I didn't exactly follow the crazy train of thought). Something about how they're monitoring everyone and they can't take more than 100 trips outside that zone or something. I know it's all nonsense but there's also usually some tie back into reality.

Spot,
@Spot@startrek.website avatar

The abilities of some to twist and misconstrue almost everything is almost impressive. Anytime anything might be helpful to society, they come up with conspiracies and ways it must be for evil.

I don’t have, and never planned on having, any kids but, I always vote for and push for education. It is scary what large numbers of ignorant people can accomplish.

frezik,

This is how things work now. Every idea we come up with to marginally improve society will be met with completely invented bullshit.

EmergMemeHologram,

Sadly yes, there are a bunch of conspiracy theories around them.

captainlezbian,

Yeah the conspiratorial right claims they’re a way to trap people into restricted zones 15 minutes across

Spot,
@Spot@startrek.website avatar

I found this USA Today www.usatoday.com/story/news/…/11593351002/

From a snippet:

Moreno said the posts are inaccurate and misconstrue the nature of the urban planning framework.

“The 15-minute city is the opposite of lockdown,” Moreno said. “The 15-minute city is an open and connected city, which balances the differences in access to services.”

The framework does not limit residents’ ability to leave their neighborhoods or access services in other areas of the city.

“All citizens are free to go where they want," Moreno said. "There are no constraints.”

prowess2956,

Thank you for this! I figured it was the usual mix of 1) a term based in reality, 2) a dash of sci-fi / dystopian tale, and 3) a whole ton of crazy.

HonkTonkWoman,

There’s one key piece you’re missing, Joe Montana is actually resurrected Harvey Milk & has been this whole time.

This plan began back when Joe was winning Super Bowls, but Steve Young was an unexpected hiccup. The queer stopped spreading as fast when Joe got traded.

This Superbowl has been chosen specifically because Montana played for both the Chiefs & the 49ers, & because Joe Montana is also Taylor Swift.

They were going to do it 4 years ago, but Joe was still Arianna Grande back then.

It’ll all make sense when Andy Reid eats Travis Kelce during halftime.

Chuymatt,

Unfortunately, this is still tracking easier than whatever that word salad was up above.

oce,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

Because they need people not to know until all the stars are aligned and then nobody can stop it anymore! Unless some hero changes the course of history by telling everyone and saves the world!

dejected_warp_core,

$0.02:

Optimistically: they’re just crazy. Some have access to a louder bullhorn than others, but it’s just garden variety insanity.

Pessimistically: someone has a huge pile of cash riding on the outcome of the game, and is making a Hail Mary pass of their own to sway the outcome.

InvaderDJ,

It’s because so much conspiracy theory requires the conspirators to be simultaneously all powerful but hilariously weak and stupid. And all their plans have to be announced and hinted at through pop culture and in ways that are suspiciously similar to popular movies and TV shows as remembered by people with no media literacy.

brbposting,

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/efda14fb-765b-42d6-9ecd-05498fe1fb58.jpeg

Brilliantly coded reference to Nicki Minaj (“it’s the butt have culture people“), “rapper” and illuminatiarian with 5G cheek implants controlling society via the minds of our youth. Didn’t expect to be so enlightened in this thread.

ZeroTemp,

This is my response to all conspiracy theories. If this deep state cabal is so powerful, and has access to unlimited resources to achieve their agenda, wouldn’t it be easier to just declare martial law and send the deep state army in to drag us all into the streets, point a gun at our heads and say comply or die? Why the theatrics? Is the deep state the Joker? Why not just shoot Batman in the head and be done with it?

superduperenigma,

“You MUST defeat the Chiefs,” O’Handley wrote in an X post addressed to the San Francisco 49ers. “If you don’t, Mr. Pfizer and his girlfriend are going to tour the country as ‘world champions’ helping elect Joe Biden WW3 will likely follow in a 2nd Biden term and millions will die. The fate of the free world rests upon your shoulders”

But hey, no pressure or anything guys.

Buddahriffic,

Why are there people so convinced that football, or the outcome of any sporting event, matters at all? Like I know that this is just some media manipulators trying to stir people up, but I also fully believe that they will succeed and that the number of people who will find this argument compelling will be depressing (though who knows, maybe humanity will have a pleasant surprise).

emergencyfood,

Why are there people so convinced that football, or the outcome of any sporting event, matters at all?

The World Cup defeat that lost an election

fsxylo,

Main character syndrome. They all think they’re God’s chosen, but they all also secretly believe that they are God’s chosen-er

slurpeesoforion,

It reads like someone parodying schizophrenia.

RobotToaster,
@RobotToaster@mander.xyz avatar

I was going to ask for someone to explain this for a non American that doesn’t understand a word of it, but I think I’d rather remain ignorant tbh.

Che_Donkey,
@Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml avatar

Absolutamente the best course of action

Zink,

American here. I’m sorry to report that 2024 is just a bad year to be literate on earth. The headline sounds batshit insane to me, and yet I can 100% hear some conservative family or acquaintance say it with zero joking or sarcasm.

chaogomu,

I'm American, I know what all the words mean, but they make no sense when put in that order.

JoMiran,
@JoMiran@lemmy.ml avatar
UltraMagnus0001,

Vivek Ramaswamy, this mutha fucka down the rabbit hole. He’s paranoid AF

Treczoks,

Is there a limit to right-wingers idiocity somewhere? I mean, there must be a point where some fellows pull a person back and tell “What you just said makes absolutely no sense!”

ZeroCool,
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