esther, to queer

Since it's #Pride month, I'll post a few of the major pieces I've written over the years around coming out, transitioning, finding identity, and other queer stuff.

You can also find a full list of my transition-related writing here if you want more: https://www.selfawaresoup.com/notes/2020/06/29/index-trans-posts/

🧵 1/7

esther,

"That L Word" is about another coming out, finding belonging to a community and an identity that felt right, after realising I was actually hiding behind the wrong one.

🧵7/7

https://www.selfawaresoup.com/2022/06/17/that-l-word/

esther,

"This Body of Mine" is lyrical reflection on my own body as I had become more at peace with it later in my transition.

https://www.selfawaresoup.com/2021/02/01/this-body-of-mine/

🧵5/7

#trans #transition #poetry

esther,

"Dysphoria and Surviving It" is an attempt to describe what body dysphoria felt like for me. It was written during bottom surgery recovery while I could still remember that feeling, which soon after I no longer could.

(CW: gender dysphoria, medical transition, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, sexual violence – German translation linked in the article)

https://www.selfawaresoup.com/2019/04/27/dysphoria-and-surviving-it/

🧵4/7

#trans #transition #medical #dysphoria

esther,

"Face Off, Face On" is by far the longest of these pieces. It's a retrospective about my FFS (facial feminisation surgery) in 2022, written about 10 months post-surgery.

(CW: medical transition, surgery, scars, bruises, skulls)

🧵6/7

https://www.selfawaresoup.com/2022/12/19/face-off-face-on/

#trans #transition #medical #ffs #surgery

esther, (edited )

In "How I Found Myself" I talk about the process of realising who I actually was, finding the language and the courage to express that.

(German translation is linked in the article)

https://www.selfawaresoup.com/2018/12/07/finding-myself/

🧵3/7

#trans #transition #comingout

esther, (edited )

"Every way was wrong" is about my experience as a closeted trans girl, how things felt "off" early on even though I didn't have the language to describe it. This is one of the darker ones.

(CW: gender dysphoria, trans-hostility, self-harm, violence, sexual assault – German translation is linked in the article)

https://www.selfawaresoup.com/2018/09/23/every-way-is-wrong/

🧵2/7

Tengrain, to LGBTQ
@Tengrain@mastodon.social avatar

It isn’t difficult to be a good ally to the community during .

Show up.

Be present.

Attend a festival or parade.

Smile.

Show the Haters that the numbers are against them.

Tengrain,
@Tengrain@mastodon.social avatar

Last night, I attended the festival in Volunteer Park, it was a lovely evening, so many smiling faces.

Being an ally THIS YEAR in particular is more important than ever.

gtfomystate, to KindActions
gtfomystate,

Blake - REFUGEE LOST
(fundraiser still active)
6/29 2230

https://www.gofundme.com/f/a-t4t-polcule-pay-for-meds-and-moving

Posted: 5/5
Refugees: 3 (3 at destination)
Trip: FL -> DE
% complete: 42%
Remaining: -$3,749

Posts: https://tech.lgbt/@gtfomystate/110596342627843845

gtfomystate,
gtfomystate,
gtfomystate,
gtfomystate,
gtfomystate,
wren, to random
@wren@chaosfem.tw avatar

reluctantly coming to the conclusion that my band/songwriting-collab days are over. I used to have a really good feel for writing complementary parts and basslines, but something in my brain has changed, it's like i lost a sense. I just gotta do my own stuff and live or die by it.

I will still follow other trans musicians and support y'alls work. It's just I think in my heart I always felt I could help assemble some kind of online all-trans band. Would've been cool, but it won't be me

Natasha_Jay,

@wren Well ofc your daemon is going to whisper to you -

"According to Carl Jung, everyone has their own unique "daemon". Listening to it can make a big difference in your life. It's that inner voice that comes from your creative energy, asking you to make changes and take on new challenges. Unfortunately, you don't always listen"

https://exploringyourmind.com/your-daemon-according-to-carl-jung/

gtfomystate, to Florida

In a lawsuit brought against the state of by the restaurant chain Hamburger Mary's, a federal judge has ruled that that Florida's ban (SB 1438) is likely unconstitutional and has barred the state from enforcing it until the case proceeds.

Source: https://twitter.com/chrisgeidner/status/1672308619810050049?s=20

gtfomystate, (edited )

Jacoby is a parent trying to leave with his child. They are on a time crunch as their lease is expiring soon, and they could use your help getting out. While the injunction on the ban is good news, the state remains unsafe for families.

UPDATE: Jacoby is Enroute

https://gofund.me/ed2121d9

@mutualaid

faithisleaping, to random

Two things can both be true.

Or at least that's what my therapists keep telling me. 😅

That's a lot of what I'm dealing with right now, emotionally. On the one hand is the utter insanity that is transition. On the other, the undeniable fact that this is me.

The bulk of my active transphobia is behind me at this point. I'm no longer fighting as many of the battles over whether or not transition is morally acceptable or if I'm trans. It's fine and I am. What still runs through my head is just how crazy it is, tweaking with gender. I was Deadname for 35 years but I'm Faith now? I presented as a guy for all those years and still have many masculine features and traits but I'm insisting people treat me as a woman now. As I type this, I'm lying on an electrolysis table getting hairs painstakingly removed one at a time. WTH? Why would someone do this? Why am I doing this? Being cis is so much simpler...

This sense of insanity is in most of us, I think. There's something unnatural about transition. Not that unnatural is bad; it isn't. It just makes something inside me squirm. It's legit kinda weird. But this same feeling, this spark of discomfort is what transphobes like JKR fan into a full-blown inferno of bigotry.

On the other hand, this is definitely me. I'm happier now. My emotions finally work thanks to having the right hormones flowing through my body. I'm starting (only starting!) to actually like and feel at home in my body. I'm dressing to show off my body and to make me happy, not just dressing to hide. Also, for the first time in my life, I'm starting to connect with people in ways I've always known I wanted but could never have. I wish my life could have been like this from the start.

Both of these are true. It's crazy and I need this. Still, that tension is hard. Or maybe, as P!nk says, "I'm just scared to be happy"?

Natasha_Jay, (edited )

@Terra
Well said. TERFs and transphobes often frame and distort/twist Butler's very societal & historical concept of cis(het)normative 'performative gender' as done by everyone into 'trans folk do gender as a performance' which is toxic as heck and we need to understand that

Also that Butler clearly uses drag and here 'gender done as performance' but to frame queer narratives, not trans ones

If we're not clear on this stuff we get dragged into a linguistic quagmire that's often being weaponized against us

In short, language and these kind of concepts really matter, and we need to be able to talk to this with one voice as a community

@faithisleaping @thatfrisiangirlish

magicalgrrrl, to KindActions

Two homeless disabled autistic trans people w/chronic pain & cPTSD & our two cats need help surviving & staying inside.
We're working on becoming WA residents ASAP, but can't access many resources until then.
We're really in need of donations to help stay sheltered & fed right now, please boost & help if you can! Thank you!

https://fundrazr.com/b2Cdod?ref=ab_bBcZR2
Venmo,CashApp,PayPal:
https://linktr.ee/magicalgrrrl

@mutualaid

magicalgrrrl,

MAJOR update!
On top of this:
https://chaosfem.tw/@magicalgrrrl/110595049312714217
on our way to pick up food tonight, the brakes on our van started going out & we had to leave van in parking lot w/ note & Uber back to motel.
We are REALLY in a dire situation right now.
Please boost & donate if you can. We have no idea how we're gonna afford this.

https://fundrazr.com/b2Cdod?ref=ab_bBcZR2
Venmo,CashApp,PayPal:
https://linktr.ee/magicalgrrrl


@mutualaid

Anya_Adora, to Seattle

Is Seattle a LGBTQ-friendly city?

Well, if you base it on where to get drunk and hook up or living in one neighborhood only vs you know, experiencing the entire city which has always been full of LGBTQ folks who didn't live in Capitol Hill...

Then yeah, your idea of LGBTQ friendly Seattle probably is feeling a bit frowny and maybe you'd dig this article.

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/as-seattle-changes-is-it-still-an-lgbtq-friendly-city

But, if you're a human who has lived a life in this city outside of the little bubble so many seem to choose, you'd know that us LGBTQ folks are everywhere, not all of us care about gay bars or even drink, and maybe we don't fit the stereotypes being once again pushed here in this.

I've never appreciated being made to feel like i had to fit some stereotypical depiction of an LGBT person. Not when i was out as Bi, and not all these years as trans.

My city needs more housing, things are not cheap here, a lot of folks are struggling on the streets. Those are things to worry about.

Is it still LGBTQ friendly?

Hell yeah it is. Trans folks are everywhere, gay and lesbian folks are everywhere, non-binary folks are everywhere.

Many of us aren't going anywhere no matter how many gay bars close lol. Seattle is our home, we are and have been members of this community and that isn't going to change.

Anya_Adora,

Honestly, i wish my LGBTQ community did better at promoting more diversity than stereotypes.

We are all so different.

So often it seems like what gets the coverage are the most obvious things, that at this point are very much so stereotypes.

We love to drink and go to bars.

We all must love drag shows right?

We feel the need to all live together in one part of town in the year 2023.

Seriously, enough of this bullshit.

We are every bit as diverse as everyone else who is cis or straight and that's fine. I think it's about time we reflect that and instead of just giving the same folks the microphone, maybe let someone else speak.

It's getting old.

Diversity isn't just about LGBTQ folks existing, it's also about recognizing the diversity within the LGBTQ community itself.

scy, to random
@scy@chaos.social avatar

I’ve just watched the first(?) on-camera appearance of Emily Young after announcing her transition. I’m a subscriber, so I’m watching it there (https://www.floatplane.com/post/yF5fDqJbi3), and while there are lots of positive comments, there’s also deadnaming, “he’s a man”, “this is mental illness” etc. in the comments, and Floatplane doesn’t even have a “report” button. The YouTube comments (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Gi2LcXhxM) look less vile, to be honest.

scy,
@scy@chaos.social avatar

(Non-)Update: I haven’t heard back anything from or . I won’t be awake during tonight’s (because I’m living in the EU timezone), else I’d bring up the topic during the show via a merch message. I’d buy a gift card at LTTStore just for being able to send the message into the show and then give it to a random US or Canadian person on the fedi or something.

I won’t be offended if anyone of you steals this idea ;)

nchprgmng, to random

Hey all, a loved one needs some emergency dental work and their insurance won't cover it. We are fundraising to cover the costs, if you could spread the word or donate anything at all, we would be extremely grateful. Thank you so much https://gofund.me/141edc16


nchprgmng,

~41%!! Almost halfway there!! Please keep sharing and donating if you can, every interaction is one step taken closer to ending this awful pain. Amidst all the other horrible things going on in Oklahoma both legislatively and weather wise, ending this suffering will be a huge relief for Griffin and all his loved ones who are hurting with him.

If you use any other social media, we have other links to share the fundraiser on the GoFundMe page, and if you see a place it isn't already posted and want to share it there, please reach out and send the link our way so we can add it!

$830/$2046

stephie_hamburg, to Florida German
@stephie_hamburg@norden.social avatar

Wie einfach ist Menschen ihre Rechte wegzunehmen zeigt deutlich. Die Propaganda gegenüber Kindern, deren Gesundheitsversorgung wegnehmen will, wird in den Medien kaum oder nicht aufgegriffen. Noch weniger wurde aufgegriffen, dass mit den selben Gesetzen in dem trans Healthcare für Minderjährige angegriffen wurde, auch die für Erwachsene quasi verboten wurde.

https://apnews.com/article/florida-transgender-health-care-adults-e7ae55eec634923e6593a4c0685969b2

stephie_hamburg,
@stephie_hamburg@norden.social avatar

Nochmal leicht gute Nachrichten aus

Im August 2022 hatte die Regierung von im Rahmen der Versuche Healthcare in Florida zu verbieten, die Kostenübernahme von trans Healthcare im Medicaid-System ausgeschlossen.

Nun gibt es auch dazu ein Urteil. Ein Gericht hat diese Regel als rechtswidrig und verfassungswidrig eingestuft.

https://lambdalegal.org/newsroom/dekker_fl_20230621_victory-court-voids-florida-policy-prohibiting-medicaid-coverage-of-gender-affirming-care/

guidedbywire, to random

I don’t know if my mastodon follower reach is enough to get traction but can anyone direct me to resources in the UK for trans and non gender conforming people who get illegally terminated from work as a teacher? Like are there legal groups addressing that there?

nattiegoogie,
scy, to trans
@scy@chaos.social avatar

TIL: ’s character in (1979) is canonically a woman, as shown in her dossier in (1986). It’s unknown whether this was already part of her character in the first movie, or added by in the sequel.

via the Aliens breakdown video by Heavy Spoilers: https://youtu.be/UMTdkS38_uM

see also https://www.thepinknews.com/2021/02/04/alien-trans-character-joan-lambert-veronica-cartwright/
https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Joan_Lambert

Fair warning: Alien is a sci-fi horror movie, some of the sources contain graphic plot details.

janettespeyer, to queer
@janettespeyer@flipboard.social avatar

I’m over it! I am super upset. My trans friend got assaulted yesterday. They were peacefully celebrating an event and someone threw a bottle at them. Thank goodness they are ok but traumatized nevertheless. I wish this nonsense would stop. Can’t they just let people be?

hnb, to Podcast
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