Natasha_Jay

@Natasha_Jay@tech.lgbt

A 50-ish displaced world-citizen▫️Worked around the 🌍 on Corporate IT & ERP stuff▫️#Fediverse :fediverse: explorer & attaché▫️Loves the interesting considerate folk here, cool vibe, no ads or algorithms▫️Authentic, serious, quirky...

▫️#Tech #Recipes #Food #Gaming #Retrogaming #UKPolitics #Cats #Calckey #Firefish #fedi22

▫️Zengender #Trans Gender-Witch▫️Perspectives, selfies, and Judith Butler stuff▫️Finsexual

▫️Posts are tagged for your filtering

Lived extensively over the years in:
🇳🇿 🇭🇰 🇦🇺 🇯🇵 🇹🇭 🇸🇪 🇷🇴 🇬🇧

Filter via links in my pinned 📌 post

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Natasha_Jay, to TwitterMigration

The way I can tell the wider world out there doesn't see Mastodon as a Twitter replacement now is that I don't see any posts that read like a cut-paste from LinkedIn these days ... just from professors, furries, archelogists, trans folk, game developers, musicians, artists etc

You know - interesting people?

Natasha_Jay, (edited ) to trans

Gender Incongruence: "Before 2013, the situation was even worse because people were then diagnosed with a clearly defined mental illness know as gender identity disorder. Yes indeed to qualify for hormone therapy you had to be certified by a psychiatrist as having a mental health problem. But how can affirming your own personal identity be a disease? Who is really suffering the dysphoria? Is it the client or is it the mental health professional, desperately trying to defend society's need to minimize the extent of gender diversity?"

... an extract from "A Guide To Transgender Health" (2019) by Rachel Ann Heath PhD (@Playcontra :heart_trans: on the birdsite) and Katie Wynn PhD, FRACP

Natasha_Jay, (edited )

@lisamelton Indeed, and sadly ofc I may face the same 'diagnosis' in time (sigh!), though I will try and find any route I can to avoid

But yes imo such diagnoses are simply something imposed upon us, and "dysphoria" not something that is innate

I know Rachel a little as we got chatting on trans healthcare on the birdsite. A definite inspiration for me - she's trans and was involved in setting up "AusPath" informed consent over in Oz

Her views (plus some advice) have been a real eye-opening on how I see myself

endali, (edited ) to Goth

Hiya, I'm Kris! 💗

I'm a :v_bi:​ :v_amam:​ boy who lives in Katowice, Poland - I also am a CompSci graduate who has been working in IT for the past 5 years 😊​

My main obsessions are and . I also enjoy & video (as many people do :blobfox3c:) and I'm learning to play the guitar. Among my other interests are computing, , craft , , and . I love chatting about all of my interests - do not hesitate to DM me if you wanna talk about any of them 💗
I also have 2 beautiful :)

I love going on nerd rants about various micro-interests of mine, posting dumb memes, and also being very gay on main, you have been warned :blobcatevil: :Fire_Bisexual: I occasionally boost CW'd NSFW posts. 🔞

I've absolutely fallen in love with Fedi - I'm very happy that I found this lovely instance and was able to settle in here with all the wonderful people :blobCatComfySoff:
See you around 🥰

Natasha_Jay,

@Nexus5 @lukem @endali
I fell in love with the Fedi too within a week back in November

And yes, I fall short on my devotions occasionally but strongly believe we need a quota system - proportional to the number of cats in your household 😉

Natasha_Jay, (edited ) to trans

** Please remember that openly trans people literally do a Pride Parade 🌈 daily in real life **

Like, I'm proud of you and knowing you, because there is no hiding who you are, who we are. Braveness? There are no words to do it justice, only admiration, understanding ...

I wasn't going to post a selfie today (promise) but if there's a hint of natural mischievousness which I rather liked. Oh yeah, and rocking the red too, the brazen hussy that I am 😉

CW: Selfie, direct eye contact

Natasha_Jay,

@sequethin Absolutely. We do it every single day we go out into a world that's far less friendly than a pride parade and it needs to be said

Natasha_Jay,

@elana There are some days I literally have to push myself out the door but I do it anyway now as simply being 'out' and in contact with people daily in normal life, being trans in a very normal boring way, has far (far) more an effect than Pride imo

Nothing wrong with pride parades etc but it takes a daily bravery to be openly trans ...

Natasha_Jay,

@Tilly Hey Tilly - been a while, all okay?

The glasses lol ... thank you! love them for a bold look but feel I need a neutral pair other times. So complex!

OctaviaConAmore, to random

This might be kinda weird, but I'm looking forward to all of my medical appointments? GP, therapy, HRT...all of it. :bear_love: Maybe it's because it feels like the first real progress I've made in my life in a decade? :blobhaj_think:

Natasha_Jay,

@OctaviaConAmore Good medical support is like a foundation and relief ... hard to explain but I totally get it

Not weird at all, just great when you get it though. Support

Natasha_Jay, (edited ) to trans

✨ ✨ Authenticity. Authenticity. Authenticity ✨ ✨
I cannot say it enough. As trans it's what we seek, even if we cannot always articulate it or are working on 'realising' it. Whatever you see is just an inner me coming out. Unpack yourself fifty times, challenge yourself, unpack again twenty times (we'll that's my style! 😂).

Pretty? "whatever". Boobs? "whatever, if you want then sure". Dysphoria? Not a mental condition, a result of trauma, of societal repression from the day you are born ... Nose job? "yeah that'd be nice thanks!!"

Feel nice and comfortable as and in yourself? "Yes, now that's the real deal, then you're getting there ..."

Today - jeans and a plain top

Feeling vulnerable, weak, tired. Also feeling strong, genuine, fizzing. Women can be complex huh? Amazing, must be the hormones ...

✨ Gook luck with your authenticity ✨ Try not to be a copy or idealised verison of anyone or anything - cis or trans

CW: selfie, direct eye contact

Natasha_Jay,

@Tattie It's all about unpacking the 'grey areas' with brutal honesty right? The problem is transition or unveiling then raises new grey areas on the way - no matter how good one's foundations are ...

  • Highs and lows
  • Dysphoric 'whack-a-mole'
  • Find one's inner gems 💎
  • Keep moving
  • etc
tamsinsays, to transgender

Below are some thoughts on the occasion of filling out intake paperwork for the surgeon with whom I'm hoping to have facial feminization surgery.

As journalist, humorist, and author Samantha Allen once rightly pointed out, a huge amount of "the transgender experience" is paperwork. The experience of filling out the intake paperwork for the surgeon I'm hoping to have redesign my face underscored this point to a distressing degree.

In particular, I found it interesting how much of the paperwork was intended to convey three ideas:

  1. "I am legally competent to consent to this surgery, so you won't be sued."

  2. "I'm really, truly , which is TOTALLY a medical disorder diagnosed by my mental health provider, so my insurance will absolutely pay for this procedure. Oh, and I'm wildly unlikely to have post-surgical regrets that would lead me to sue you."

  3. "In the event that my insurance decides not to pay out for this hilariously expensive procedure, I will cheerfully accept responsibility for making sure you, the surgeon, get paid."

To recap: in filling out this paperwork, I've agreed to participate in the pathologization of what is, in my experience, emphatically not a medical condition at all, but a perfectly ordinary variation of human experience. In other words, I've agreed to pretend I believe and affirm the truth of something I know isn't true, so that the people who pay (most of) my medical bills will agree to pay this one, too. Ain't capitalism grand?

Of course, even that's a simplification of a much more nuanced issue. Is being a mental health issue? Well, it wouldn't be if we lived in a healthy culture, but goodness knows that's not so. Is gender dysphoria a mental health disorder? Depends on who you ask, but I'd argue that being "healthy" in a sick society is no sign of true health, and being "sick" in a sick society may just mean you're responding appropriately to your environmental conditions... but that's another post.

What I will absolutely say is that being trans IN THIS CULTURE makes me feel all kinds of awful, and induces a wide range of mental distress which, blessedly, I've been able to hold at bay through the deployment of that favorite fake boogeyperson of pearl-clutching conservatives, GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE! Yes, that's right, I've been treating my mental distress with judicious applications of estradiol, progesterone, and most recently—gasp!—GENDER-AFFIRMING SURGERY to divest myself of some excess baggage I've been toting around for 50 years.

(Editors' note: Tamsin means her testicles, which have likely been incinerated with the rest of the hospital's medical waste by now. A fitting end, in our opinion. -Ed.)

Am I a hypocrite for filling out this paperwork affirming something I don't believe to be true? Maybe. Here's a question I find far more interesting: is it in any way meaningful to make moral judgements on "hypocrisy" in a system which rewards complicity with the essentials for survival, to say nothing of the comforts which make a life out of survival, and which penalizes honesty with denial of life-saving and life-enriching care?

To pare that down even more, I'm getting FFS as a way of reducing both psychological and social stress. So, let's pivot. Maybe it's a mental health issue after all: if not intrinsically, at least operationally. In this time, in this place, being seen and known as feminine reduces the pain, distress, and unhappiness I experience in a fundamentally transphobic society.

In this circumstance, accepting the pathologizing of my intrinsic identity, rather than locating the pathology where it justly belongs—within the society in which I'm trapped—may just be the opportunity cost for getting my revised character design into production.

Maybe I'll feel bad about that later. If so, at least I can cry about it with a face that more closely resembles the one I see in my dreams than the one I currently see in the mirror.

Vanity? Indubitably. But that's hardly the greatest of my sins.

Natasha_Jay,

@tamsinsays
Dysphoria is not innate in us, it's a result of trauma growing up from day 1 in a society that's toxic and hostile towards our existence

And yet as we obviously do exist, society insists we're complicit and compliant in a mental health charade, being diagnosed and pathologized to keep us pushed down as an overt thread to the patriarchy

This is not complex

Natasha_Jay,

@tamsinsays
I will have the same issue downstream I think, perhaps not on anything facial as I suspect that's a US insurance thing, but for any bottom surgery - so I totally get the feeling of hypocrisy

It grates if I have to get a clinical diagnosis to get some plumbing sorted. Well it inflames me with absolutely incendiary anger 🔥 if I'm quite honest

I understand our trade offs but we should all at least fully open our eyes to how oppressive this is - which is so hard when bombarded with an a non-trans-centered view day in day out

Natasha_Jay,

@tamsinsays
That's exactly my point. You can, should and we should be angry like 🔥🔥 and at least be able to express this as a community

We don't do this enough, we don't unpack the unbelievable level of suppression that lies behind being pathologized, and it's psychological shaping of us too

I'll always welcome screeds like this, it makes me feel not alone in how I feel

Natasha_Jay, (edited ) to animals

An evil glare 😾 from my cat on having his photo taken: the ruler of the house shows he's displeased at being disturbed? An early post for

#猫 #ねこ

Natasha_Jay,

@666k9s
It normally involves the food of the gods i.e. chicken, not ambrosia

thatfrisiangirlish, to trans
@thatfrisiangirlish@blahaj.zone avatar

By request from @Natasha_Jay, some more with the ! Have fun with it!

Images used:
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap221205.html
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap080715.html
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap130811.html

Natasha_Jay,

@thatfrisiangirlish
Ohhhhhh ... I just saw 😍❤️💜💖💘💝💓
Wonderful 🙏🙏🙏

Natasha_Jay, to trans

Me before first coffee: I am a GenderGoddess of Wrath. I will hurl fireballs of destruction 🔥🔥 at all disbelievers

Me after coffee ☕: Purrrrrrrr 🐱

"Sending packages of coffee, strength, love and estradiol in all your global 🌍 directions" :heart_trans:

Natasha_Jay, to random

@thatfrisiangirlish
Thanks, Imdat is special. Below all the puppy dog enthusiasm, that's a kind of "sensitive super-gender-fluidity" at a level I've never seen before tbh ...

It's great to reconnect with you. So good

Your "siblings vs cousins" has resonated so hard with me, you know?

The last few months I've realised I'm different to other trans woman (I've ever met so far) but not because I'm "nonbinary" , but because I view gender so so much deeper than they do

Sigh. I feel slightly deflated Tally?

Natasha_Jay, to UKpolitics

>Exclusive: Special report will raise issues encountered during initial inquiry into Johnson rule breaches

>"Boris Johnson’s allies are expected to be named in a report published on Thursday about potential “contempts of parliament” committed following the official Partygate inquiry"

>"Conservative MPs and a peer who are accused of trying to disparage the privileges committee during its 14-month inquiry into Johnson’s Partygate denials are among those likely to be referenced, sources said"

How sad, what a shame, never mind ...?

or in other words -

It was independent and cross-party disciplinary Committee of seven, with four Tories in it that defends UK Parliamentary democracy that censored Boris Johnson. It would be fascinating to see more ten day bans as that could trigger bi-elections (won't happen sadly)

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/jun/28/partygate-rees-mogg-dorries-contempts-parliament-report-boris-johnson

Natasha_Jay,

@SecondUniverse I hope they throw the book at them tbh. Political and party differences are one thing, but this is quite another and it's made me sick ... it needs to be stamped down on for the future

wren, to random
@wren@chaosfem.tw avatar

to me, the crazy thing about social media is that every post you make is a lottery ticket that's effectively free, and if it hits or gets lots of positive comments your brain gives you an all-natural endorphin drug rush. It's probably the worst thing that's ever happened to us, but it's the perfect system, and it's amazing how much capitalism completely fucked it up. I guess it didn't burn enough trees for the exploitation to seem real

Natasha_Jay,

@wren Totally. But here in the Fedi it's quite random ...! One occasionally just goes "ballistic"

Unless you go "TERFs are bad people, boo!!!" ofc, as that'll be 200 boosts just to start with! Try it lol 😂

The problem is the algorithms ie they specifically magnify some, and mute others. There's also the endorphins from replying to a toxic post, which is another reason why they are magnified by the algorithm

It's so much about that addiction to endorphins, then being used to generate clicks etc and traffic > advertising > $$$ of course

Totally f*cked up isn't it?

Natasha_Jay,

@wren
So if you ever wonder why I'm not tempted to consider a move to Bluesky, it's not just a great trans community here. It's a dogmatic objection to having my brain trained to be mush, addicted, and let someone profit from it because yes this is what's going on

Btw I used to work in the games industry, addiction is totally designed and built in deliberately now to be monetized, just a bit more overtly - loot boxes the biggest example

This doesn't happen by accident. One is brain-trained, but somehow we learned to accept it?

thatfrisiangirlish, to queer
@thatfrisiangirlish@blahaj.zone avatar

I felt like having a little bit of graphic nonbinary fun, and composed a out of NASA APoD images. To make things perfect, I now share the result with my nonbinary .
Pictures used were
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap030429.html
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap000711.html
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap080408.html
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap150522.html

Natasha_Jay,

@thatfrisiangirlish Cough cough - this is awesome, almost as awesome as you :heart_nb:

Any chance of a trans version, or teach me the magic and tools?

Natasha_Jay,

@thatfrisiangirlish Oh gosh yes, just 'whenever' tbh! But it is beautiful!! :heart_progress: :heart_trans:

That stellar layering gives a depth of feeling, a sense of a Universe to be explored and journeyed that is outside of cis understanding? Well imo ... 😂

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • osvaldo12
  • khanakhh
  • Youngstown
  • mdbf
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • everett
  • ngwrru68w68
  • Durango
  • anitta
  • InstantRegret
  • GTA5RPClips
  • cubers
  • ethstaker
  • normalnudes
  • tacticalgear
  • cisconetworking
  • tester
  • Leos
  • modclub
  • megavids
  • provamag3
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •