@johnmastodon@mastodon.online
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

johnmastodon

@johnmastodon@mastodon.online

Citizen of the fediverse.

I speak fluent ironic with a solid sarcastic accent.

Not related at all to John Merrick.

Most perfect human male according to AI extrapolations!

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar
johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@dgar I really enjoyed that final episode where Wile E. Coyote finally killed and ate that evil Road Runner

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

Israel killing five terrorists with tank fire is like killing ants with dynamite. How is that a war?

#johnmastodon

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

We should probably change the standard from shitty countries to shitty governments to aknowledge the real problem.

#johnmastodon

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

Current Artificial Intelligence is like relying on a grammar teacher that writes with orthographic mistakes. No military power can not rely on it, unless of course they're just publicly releasing the useless part of the technology.

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

"We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes."

  • Leona Helmsley

#quoteoftheday #fact

#johnmastodon

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Justice Merchan called ’s lawyer to a sidebar to say Trump was “cursing audibly” & possibly intimidating Daniels... “I understand your client is upset at this pt, but he is cursing audibly & shaking his head visually & that’s contemptuous. It has the potential to intimidate the witness & the jury can see that...I am speaking to you here at the bench because I don’t want to embarrass him. You need to speak to him. I won’t tolerate that.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/05/07/stormy-daniels-testimony-trump-hush-money-trial/

johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@GottaLaff He doesn't play by the same rules. Why do people insist on treating him fairly? Just throw him to jail for a month, no phone, no communication, let him experience no first ammendment!

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

If you're one of those saying "vote for Biden or we loose our country", you're basically the problem. If we had the nuts to forbid criminals to take office, laws to stop billionaires from buying judges and no lobbying in Congress, none of this would be happening. Voting either one won't solve anything! Happy criminal's comeback!

johnmastodon, to HashtagGames
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

Scooby Dooby doo doo doo, da da da

#CartoonASongPoemOrLimerick
#HashTagGames

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

Willing to organize a cage fight between Musk and Zuck against John Mastodon for charity. Both refused saying it not a fair fight, so I told them to bring Bill Gates to help them if fairness was a problem.

#johnmastodon

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

I'm inclined to believe that the cage fight between Musk and Zuck was just a stunt.

Note: names were alphabetically ordered to avoid showing bias.

Note 2: Zuck is younger.

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

"John Mastodon, ugh, he's such an arrogant, I'd throw him myself from a high rise building if I had the chance"

JapanProf, (edited ) to palestine
@JapanProf@mastodon.social avatar

Ilan Pappe, an Israeli historian, warned as early as in the 1990s that the Israeli educational system was producing a different kind of Zionists. Israeli children are socialized into hating and dehumanizing their Arab & Palestinians neighbors. It explains why the majority of Israelis are not even troubled by the perpetual brutality against Palestinians. @palestine

https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2023/12/13/its-not-shocking-to-see-israeli-children-celebrate-the-gaza-genocide

johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@JapanProf @palestine both sides use the strategy but one of them seems to be acceptable

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

I would've told him "yes surely you can vote without ID but you'll have to loose the clothes, according to the law". I bet he'd fall for that, he knows nothing about laws!

Boris Johnson turned away from polling station for forgetting voter ID under rules he introduced

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/boris-johnson-turned-away-polling-32724518

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

The strategy can't be clearer:

  1. Request the Judge permission to go to his son's graduation

  2. Request the Judge permission to skip jail when found guilty.

johnmastodon, to HashtagGames
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar
johnmastodon, to HashtagGames
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar
johnmastodon, to HashtagGames
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

Two Broke Boys, starring Don Jr and Eric


dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Them: I’m leaving you.

Me: Is it because I always act like I know everything?

Them: Yes.

Me: I knew it!

johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@dgar I knew you were tooting this sooner or later!

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

: In a few million years your crap is gonna be fueling the planet!

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

It really puzzles me why Elon wishes so much to destroy Twitter, Tesla and Space X. Could it be that he is indeed a time traveler trying to save us from apocalypse?

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar
johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@dgar R.I.P. He is so much missed after that helicopter crash. Baseball hasn't been the same since then!

18+ ai6yr, to random
johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@ai6yr good goth! How hard is it to quit posting there? Just stop using it, problem solved!

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

I'm willing to get rid of my internal combustion vehicles to help diminish the climate crisis when billionaires stop flying and yatching with petrol fueled vehicles. It might be easier for them anyways!

#johnmastodon

johnmastodon, to random
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

EVERYBODY has seen what they do! Why is that wanker still in charge of that State?

Netanyahu vows to reject any sanctions on Israeli army

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-68870273

johnmastodon, to HashtagGames
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

Manage a rocket company, a sucessful social media platform and a EV worldwide car factory

Wile E. Coyote

#FictionalCharacterGoals
#HashTagGames

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • megavids
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • InstantRegret
  • GTA5RPClips
  • Youngstown
  • everett
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • osvaldo12
  • mdbf
  • ngwrru68w68
  • JUstTest
  • cubers
  • modclub
  • normalnudes
  • tester
  • khanakhh
  • Durango
  • ethstaker
  • tacticalgear
  • Leos
  • provamag3
  • anitta
  • cisconetworking
  • lostlight
  • All magazines