oldladyplays

oldladyplays, 1 day ago to random

Highlight of today's teaching session:

A slide comes up, with four tips on being a good ally. One of them is "don't rely on queer people to educate you, educate yourself".

To which I quipped, "Unless you're paying us, then it's okay."

Rocked the room. Great session, when they're learning and still laughing.

oldladyplays, 2 days ago to random

Once again, I am made happy by my machine's incompatibility with Windows 11. No keylogging AI bullshit in Windows 10! Huzzah!

NB: Yes, Windows 10 sucks. But not as bad as an AI-enabled Windows 11.

oldladyplays, 3 days ago to random

Weird night last night, went to bed at about 19h, because I was really tired. Couldn't get to sleep for more than an hour (a totally unusual thing for me - usually five minutes and I'm gone). Then my sleep was fitful, until about 23h when I got up again. This, too, is unusual (the fitful bit).

All got sorted when I went back to bed, though, 3 solid hours after a few minutes to get to sleep. shrug Weird, like I said.

Got a light day today, which is nice: one meeting at 17h, which is inconveniently late, but I'll cope. It's the final meeting for the granting foundation I've been working for. Which is good, because it means the honorarium is coming soon, and I could use it.

Before then, though, I have to go through and score the applications I'm responsible for. That's for this afternoon. This morning, I think I'm going rally driving (virtually). Been about seven or eight months since I drove, but hopefully it won't take too long to get my sharpness back.

One thing I don't understand: cheating in video games. Like, what's the fucking point? You're playing a game with yourself. Whom are you cheating? Great, so you got a world record time with cheating. You're always going to know you didn't really do it, so it's got to be pretty hollow victory.

Thankfully, the newer rally game I'm playing (EA WRC) has rigorous anti-cheating methods. I'm down with that. I don't mind being the 357th fastest person in the game, if that's what I can actually do.

Anyway, that's my post, and I'm sticking to it. Hope your day {is | was | will be} excellent.

oldladyplays, 6 days ago to random

To any of those with contact with young people who are out protesting for Palestinians.

When the cops come for you, like they did, with heavy hands and empty orders, they're doing that because the boss class wants to scare you. They want you to think that they're going to blackball everyone who ever got a charge for protesting from ever getting a corporate job.

1. This is bullshit. There are too many of you, in a full-employment economy, for them to shut you out. And if not, you'll find ways to start your own organizations, and build society differently that way.

2. They're doing it this way because they're afraid of you. They're afraid of your passion and commitment in pursuing something you know could damage a career. They worry about having employees like that, because your kinds of people become the seeds of unions. Of worker power.

3. Keep it up. Keep up the pressure. You're winning. They don't know it yet, but you're winning.

I can't be with you right now, because of my disabilities and health stuff. But I'm behind you. Cheering you on. You're doing the right thing, the moral thing, and doing so with deliberation and hard thinking.

oldladyplays, 20 days ago to random

OMG. I am ded of old.

I just encountered a young friend referring to the books by Tolkien as "the novelization of those old movies".

oldladyplays, 21 days ago to random

One thing transition brought me was relief from the rage. I often wonder how many of you had this too. In part, this is because in the fight/flight/et c. response, I'm pretty much always ready for the fight. Or I was.

I once had a car cut across four lanes to cut me off so he could turn left off the one-way street at the next light. I honked, he flipped me off. When he pulled up at the light, I bumped his car. Just a little. Not enough to set off airbags. Just a wee tappy-tap.

That one cost me CAD500 to square away.

Cut to five years later, post-transition, I'm in a gas station in downtown Toronto. We pulled up behind someone and started working the pump. The person in front drove off.

Someone pulled up behind us and honked that we should get out of the way, and go use the other pump. We waved them around. They declined, with a prominent showing of middle fingers to accompany it. My two friends, a lesbian couple, both got out of their front seats to challenge these other women to a fight. I jumped out even quicker, and got my biggest-body-on-the-site between the two groups, arms out. And they start trying to take pokes at each other, around me. I'm blocking these. They all got frustrated, but I stayed there until everyone calmed down and got back in their cars. I finished pumping the gas, went to pay, and we drove off.

What happened between incident A and incident B? Estrogen, baby. I had transitioned, and finally gotten on hormones. And when I did, the rage just...floated away like a soap bubble on the breeze. Pop! I had lived with that rage, I hadn't realized, for all the previous 27 years of my life.

And transition made it go "poof".

I thought that was all of it. I would still get angry occasionally, but the daily undercurrent of rage at the world that I'd felt since I realised I was a girl at 4...that went.

Then I had my bottom surgery. And found out what a life without T would be like. I lost almost all aggression. The rage fuel tank was empty.

oldladyplays, 25 days ago to random

Just because I know there are folk out there who need to hear it: not only are Black professionals not more likely to make life-threatening errors than white professionals, the racist headwinds those Black professionals faced to become recognized and credentialed made it so that only the very best got through.

The hardest-working, smartest people got through. Sound like anything we're nominally pursuing?

This is why they say that a Black person has to work twice as hard, be twice as good, as a white person to get similar success. Not only should you not cringe when you see a Black pilot flying your plane, you should salute her for the hard-ass work she did to get into that pilot's seat. She is, by facing the fires of racist hell, circle by circle, going to be among the most qualified pilots you could find.

It is blatantly and self-evidently counter-productive to try to segregate certain jobs, any jobs. By definition, the most qualified person should win, no? That's what our supposed meritocracy means?

Then it's about time we faced reality, and recognized that the systems we've built in majority-white Western nations produce top-quality graduates...from the repressed groups. It's human nature. If the representation is less than in public life, then there are fewer spots being chased by the same number of people. That's going to inflate the grade level needed to get in above that of the best students in majority populations. It's just reality. Math.

This is how deep white supremacy colonizes our minds. We buy into these false, self-serving white supremacist beliefs, like "affirmative action means the unqualified will get through".

We as white people in those countries need to do more to unravel these beliefs when we encounter them. You may not convince the bigot in front of you. But you might just sway the ignorant person listening to both of you.

Be safe, but be bold: challenge racism where you see it. And learn to see it better. I will be.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

#TransVoiceFriday is here, and I wanted to join in on the fun. so here's 30 seconds of me saying stuff. Description is available by mouseover.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

Hey, anyone know of a job opportunity for a brilliant nuclear physicist with skills to pay the bills? She's located in the Bay Area of California in the US. Check her account for a recent post on her outline of her skills:

https://chaosfem.tw/@rooster/112283186578656777

Boosts welcome.

@rooster

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

What Linux People Don't Get About The Rest of Us

It's fairly simple. I don't want to spend my time managing my OS. Finding drivers, and compatibility, and all that: you find that fun and interesting. I find it boring and irritating. When I sit down at my computer I want to do the thing I came there to do, not spend my time convincing my computer to run properly. With Windoze, I generally don't have to do that. It's not perfect at eliminating that stuff, but it's a lot less technical and involved than running a Linux distro.

Yes, I'm sure you're able to do just that. Make room in your brain for the idea that not everyone is capable of that, or wants to be capable of that. While I've no doubt that the sign I've hung out here will draw the Reply Guys like no one's business, you're not going to get me to change my mind. I know what I enjoy doing, and maintaining my OS is not among it.

I built - from scraps - my first PC at 14, in 1980. I'm not indigitate (think illiterate, but for digital stuff). I just don't want to. That's not where I get my entertainment from computers.

I'm very glad you get the enjoyment you do out of Linux. Long may it continue. But make room for the idea that we don't all enjoy computing in the way that you do, and that that is okay.

Or (tl;dr version): Damnit Jim, I'm a linguist not a mechanic!

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

Mmmm...just spent the morning nerding out with a friend about languages. It was glorious. We must have talked for about an hour and a half. About polyglots, and Armenian history, and classical Japanese, and all kinds of stuff. I love having friends who know more than me about stuff. 😁

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to disability

Alright, subtoot time, but positively so.

A friend of mine with significant visual impairment pointed out that the lack of description on images is a cultural problem on Fedi, not an individual failure.

So, let me do a thing to help build that culture.

How I Do Image Description

I close my eyes. I look at the image first, and close my eyes. Then I try to describe it without looking. I find this focuses me on the important things to get the image across, without getting distracted by unnecessary detail.

It's okay to peek. I have a strong visual memory, so I'm good with one look, but not everyone is. But do try and see the picture in your mind, if you're not aphantasic.

If you are, I'm not sure if I know a way to help. I apologise; I don't know enough about it to know yet. I did want to acknowledge that not everyone can do this approach.

Anyway, that's my contribution today to creating a culture of image description.

What can you do to add to it?

#Blind #Disability #AltText

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

A friend of mine with a functioning uterus told me recently she was having an IED put in, to keep her from getting pregnant.

I said I thought that was a little extreme, and that maybe an IUD would be better.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

I will say as a preface to this post that I dearly love my young friends. I honestly do.

But sometimes, it don't half hurt to be friends with them. Like when a group of us are talking, most in their 20s, plus me, and one of them talks about how gross it is when some old person hits on them, "all grey hair and wrinkles in their 50s".

Like...ouch? I mean, yes, it's a little creepy when someone that age hits on someone so young. But have a bit of empathy, folks, for who's listening when you're talking. I didn't really need to hear today that I'm gross for being all grey hair and wrinkles in my 50s.

I know I'm not. I don't desperately need reassurance. But yeesh. Just...have some empathy for your listeners? A bit?

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

April Fool's Day is the worst and stupidest tradition we have about the calendar. "Ha ha, we'll have a day where everybody lies and tries to trick everyone else, and it'll all be a big laugh and no one will get hurt."

It's bullshit. Most AfD jokes (see what I did there?) are cruel and mean-spirited, making fun of people for trusting you. Is that really how you want to be known?

Needless to say, you can trust there will be none of that shit coming from this account on Monday. I'm always up for actual fun, you know, the kind where people are invited to take part and enjoy, rather than some of them singled out for mockery.

Yep, I'm the mayor of Nofunnington. As everyone knows, I never do anything remotely fun or funny. That's why I hate this day. Sure.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

Spending my morning learning how to pronounce the names of my Polish friends. It's a challenge, but at least their orthography is pretty regular - no weird shit like silent letters (I'm looking at you, FR and EN), letters that change value based on placement (RU, we need to talk about Г), weird diphthongs (NE, what's with "ij"?), or other tricks of other orthographies.

It's challenging because the sounds are not immediately obvious to a non-native speaker, but once you learn the orthography (aka spelling), it's pretty easy.

A short guide to a couple of bits for those who want to play our home game.

sz: sh
cz: ts
ł: w
ę: nasalized e

Anyway, that's enough to get you going. Start figuring out how to pronounce the names of your Polish friends! It's fun and rewarding.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

A cis man's take on Trans Day of Visibility and Easter Sunday being on the same day this year. It won't go where you think it will, based on how he looks and talks. Give him a shot, and see if you still feel that way when he's finished talking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTwb0yTuy1E

And special bonus video: He also offered some dating advice a few years ago that has some relevance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0XX6OxfTNs

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

Like...Muslims aren't around demanding I fast for Ramadan. Jews don't make me stand and say kaddish because someone died. Only Christians, in the Western world, have that kind of arrogance. Persecuted minority my sweet trans ass.

Yes, this is a subtoot, but not at any of you, just to the mavens of Christianity in the west.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

I was scheduled to give a talk on Nazi history, but thanks to a typo from someone who was getting the program info over the phone, I'm now going to be talking about a dog.

Yes, that's right, the Beer-Hall Pooch.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

Got a hard physical day today. Had a two and a half hour education session this morning, which went well but was tiring, and this afternoon I have an in-person two-hour meeting across town. So I have to take a cab to get there, spend two hours, then another cab to get home (thankfully someone else is paying for the cabs). So I'll be busy from 16h to 19h with my "two-hour" meeting. All in all, it amounts to six hours of working today, half of it paid.

That's too many hours in a single day for me. I'm going through CBD gummies like a woodpecker through soft pine.

It's days like these that I really feel the being disabled thing. It's humbling knowing that a six-hour day can lay me out, when most of my friends can work an eight-hour day, day after day.

So yeah, that's my day. Class this morning was excellent - it's our third-level class, so it's for the people who've already done the basics, and are talking about some of the advanced topics: polyamoury, drag, the AIDS crisis, conversion therapy, trans health care, and so on.

This class was engaged and interested, had lots of good questions, and spontaneously and voluntarily put together a reflections session for themselves after we left. A real pleasure to teach.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

I wanna see a Manic Pixie Dream Girl movie where the sad protagonist is actually an egg, and she's having complicated feelings about gender envy and sexual attraction. Movie ends with both of them being MPDGs together.

oldladyplays, 1 month ago to random

Well, back on the bike today.

Got a session to teach this morning, in-person (ugh - why can't these people do virtual like civilized people?), teaching the not-queers to be nice to the queers.

Apparently I've been quiet. Sorry about that. Been feeling a little off, physically, the last couple of days, has meant I've spent more time on the reading throne than I usually get. On the up side, I got through most of book 1 of the Expanse again. On the down side, it's a very large book.

Anyway, that'll keep me busy all morning, then I've got a radio interview early this afternoon for Trans Day of Visibility (pre-recording) with CBC.

So it's a busy day ahead.

Still making my claim for being the happiest, most joyful Caitie in all the world. My life is good, my boy thinks I'm sexy and smart, and I couldn't be much happier than I am.

oldladyplays, 2 months ago to random

I've been noodling on how we who are white can work to make Fedi a better place for Black people and other POC to exist on.

On Xitter, we had a couple of hashtags, such as #SettlerCollector, which would alert anti-racist people to a reply-guy who needed sorting out (the above example used by Indigenous people). Can we get something similar going here? #ComeGetOneOfYours ?

The idea would be that anti-racist people would follow the hashtag, and we dogpile THEM for a change, when one of them shows up in someone's replies with racist bullshit. Untag the OP, so they don't get swamped with your defence, and go to town. Educate if you like, block and report if you don't.

Make it more uncomfortable to be racist on Fedi.

We need to push, my friends, as hard on anti-Black and other forms of racism as we do on transphobia and enbyphobia.

This is one way you can do it.

oldladyplays, 2 months ago to random

Do you know anyone who came out as trans or nonbinary as a teenager?

I would love to speak with someone who's been through this, with an eye to getting their thoughts down on video for use in my work on "My Kid is Coming Out: What Do I Do Next?"

Can be as anonymous as you like, we can blur your image, change your voice, whatever. But I'd really love to have the voice of experience in this particular video. What I'm looking for is about two or three minutes on how it was, how it went, what could have been better.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

oldladyplays, 2 months ago to random

Today's #GrooveOfTheDay is gonna be a two-fer. Same song, different languages.

First, let's go with the original. "Jet Boy Jet Girl" was a punk song from 1977 by Elton Motello. He recorded it on a Belgian label. A year later, Plastic Bertrand (a Belgian fake group made for the song) made this hilariously weird cover, "Ca plane pour moi", using the same backing track as the English song.

What was cool about Jet Boy, Jet Girl was that it was about a 15-year-old boy who gets involved with an older man, who then rejects him. It was transgressive for its time, and indeed the words are probably still NSFW.

The words in French are deliberately nonsensical; the author describes them as "a bunch of stuff the narrator sees in his very stoned head". The title of the song is, basically, "That works for me".

While the cover was meant to be mocking, it turned out to be quite popular, and is part of the early lexicon of punk now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgbtLJyLDu8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8soQkubMk1g