@rothko@beige.party
@rothko@beige.party avatar

rothko

@rothko@beige.party

☕️ :bisexual: :leather_flag: ♏️ lake superior owns my soul so i finally moved to duluth. interfaith/interspiritual with particular fondness for inayati sufism and the episcopal church. trained spiritual director/companion, non-judgmental holder of sacred space. gen-x, fond of single malt scotch, r.e.m., bob mould, doctor who. minnesotan, german speaker, genealogy dork, band geek.
#KEXP You are not alone.

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StillIRise1963, to random
@StillIRise1963@mastodon.world avatar

I’m at the cardiologist with my dad, in the waiting room. NO MASKS to be seen anywhere except on us.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@StillIRise1963 seems to be par for the course at this point. just went in for a physical and my NP pooped in the door, saw me wearing my mask, and was like "oh, would you prefer i wear a mask?" i didn't even bother hiding my annoyance and said "uhm, YEAH," drawing the word out to two syllables in my best surly teenager accent. don't remember if i rolled my eyes, but they tend to have a mind of their own, so i probably did.

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Just cried to my psychiatrist for 1/2 an hour. He says that he thinks there is something more than just bipolar going on for me to be having such significant mood shifts within a day. IDK, it’s happened before. He was concerned by how much I have deteriorated since we last spoke.

I told him that living on this rollercoaster is untenable, and that although I don’t have any active plans to end my life, I feel that I can’t be expected to live like this. I’m in a hopeless place right now. He agrees I need more support and is going to raise my case in the community MH team’s multidisciplinary team meeting and with psychological therapies. I told him I really miss having a CPN/therapist to check in with/offload to. He doesn’t want to tweak my meds but will get me some more diazepam. He was sorry to hear my condition, I’m usually so stable when we speak.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @RolloTreadway what sort of help can the community MH team offer? (no such thing here in the US.)

bear in mind that the stress associated with doing a PhD can really do a number on bipolar disorder. for me, lots of stress and lack of sleep is a one-way ticket to mania.

if your bipolar is not usually of the rapid-cycling variety, i would think an evaluation of your present treatment plan would be in order -- although there's nothing i love more than second-guessing other people's psychiatrists 🙄😆

also, not sure how old you are, but hormonal shifts can also play a big role (for example if you're entering perimenopause).

all that said, i of course am not a doctor of any kind, just speaking from 30+ years of being actively treated for bipolar... obviously everyone's journey is different, so take this with a hefty grain of salt 😁

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @RolloTreadway huh... i suppose finding a different psychiatrist is next to impossible considering the shortages and the general condition of the NHS?

mixed states are the WORST omg. the most dangerous in my opinion... rapid cycling too -- utterly exhausting.

having a CPN come to your home to check on you periodically sounds like a dream, though -- would never happen over here. shame they seem willing to do a course only once. like you said -- just because you're well for the time being doesn't mean it's just gone away...

i hope you can get the help you need; advocating for oneself while in crisis is SO HARD and i wish you the best. 💜

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @RolloTreadway WHAT?! oooohhhh, that makes me so angry. because guess what gender gets that diagnosis with a HUGE percentage over any other? yup. women. borderline is the new "hysteria."

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Does anyone know how late Circuit City is open? I need to buy a replacement zip drive ASAP.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@Alice wake up alice, wake up! it's 2024 and google ate your zip drive long ago.

rothko, to random
@rothko@beige.party avatar

so... we closed on a house in duluth today. here's me putting the finishing touches on the mailbox.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

The truth is I've always been an old lady, I want to go to a bar at 4 in the afternoon, and listen to great music, but it can't be too loud, I want a couple good drinks, and leave before it gets too busy, so I can have dinner, and get back home. I need to have plenty of time to watch Godzilla movies in my PJ's, and snug before my first pre-bed nap.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@MarkRDavid @RickiTarr oh man, my parents modeled the pre-nap for me way early on. dad would fall asleep in the recliner with the tv on; mom would be on the sofa with a crossword or something and nodding off. 8:30 or 9 would roll around and inevitably one would wake up and go "oh, guess i woke up just in time to go to bed..." 😆

obviously i followed right in their footsteps...

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Hello! I want to do a Spooky Picture Prompt! So, find a picture in your camera roll that would represent the phrase:

Last Picture on the Camera Roll

This should be spooky, but completely up to your own interpretation. Here's one from me, with weird eclipse light.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr moody pic of the bedroom in our last house.

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

I have a meditation class scheduled in 7 minutes but I’m resistant

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma DO IT.

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

I want to be an action hero whose tag line is "chickens came home to roost, motherfucker!"

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain BA-KAWK!!!

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Clean hair! 😍

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma woohoo!! 🙌 congrats! (i know the struggle)

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

I get very tired of people who romanticise Madness or try to say that it is just a facet of normal human experience. I have bipolar. It is an illness. It is out of the norm. It is very dangerous, with the death by suicide rate estimate at up to 19% - and that’s with all the treatments modern medicine has to offer. We are not geniuses or savants, we are in danger

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma when things are going well, i sometimes forget i have a literally life-threatening mental illness.... too much stress and too little sleep is my personal recipe for disaster.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Someone is waiting in the Fediverse to fight with you about some point in history at all times.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr i recently got mansplained about how latin used V instead of U, and that -- get this -- W is literally two U's. get it? double-U? yeah thanks 🙄 i was gonna snark but decided to just let it ride. (except that i just snarked here instead) 🙄

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr @justafrog @mentallyalex LOL that's us only in reverse. husband is up late and i'm the one going dude, is someone being wrong on the internet? god, so classic.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Some stuff we've pulled out of abandoned houses just left to rot:

A leather picture frame with an old time military painting, if you think you can tell me what it is of that would be awesome
An old Victorian Chest
This insane mid-century lamp it is pretty tall and is a very shiny copper color with ornate metal decoration

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr @willaful @HCBunny that always makes me sad.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr so is this just a random hobby you have?

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr dang, that's kinda intense! sounds fun though.

my sister once returned to a house my family had rented when we were really, really little -- it had been abandoned a long time and the floor was caving in here and there. she went into what had been our bedroom and found a business-card sized bit of paper jammed into the built-in desk -- our dad had written something on it for her long ago. ❤️

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

I just opened a bottle of wine so you may want to mute me for the next several hours.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@Alice @mathew husband only wishes he had a mute button for drunkrothko time...

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Everyone knows broken snacks/cookies/chips don’t count toward calories, so that's why I recommend smashing the hell out of the packaging before consuming the entire thing in one sitting.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@Alice brilliant!!

gerrymcgovern, to random
@gerrymcgovern@mastodon.green avatar

In a city called The Dalles, in Oregon, USA, local people were worried that Google’s water use was soaring. As is so often the case, the city officials, who had given Google hundreds of millions in tax breaks, had no intention of letting anyone know how much water Google was using. It was up to a local paper, The Oregonian, to try and find out. They were forced to bring a case to court. City officials were ordered by Google to claim that Google’s use of scarce pubic water was a “trade secret”.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@lin11c @gerrymcgovern it's basically "we'll provide your city with jobs if you give us this tax break; if not, we'll go somewhere else with our jobs."

or, conversely, "hey big tech, we'll give you massive tax breaks if you bring us more jobs."

taking hostages, or bribery -- either way it's disgusting.

Jaden3, to animals
@Jaden3@mastodon.social avatar

Yall obsessed with cats on this mf 🤣🤣

Cats everywhere???? 🐈
Why ???????

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@Jaden3 follow @WahFo for tons of weird and super interesting animals! there's more than cats here... also a lot of bird people 😁 :60fpsparrot:

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Tell me a silly/funny childhood story!

I'll start:

One time in Sunday School, the teacher was talking about the difference between humans and animals, and mentioned that Animals had Tails and humans didn't. I let her know this was not true, because my Dad had a tail, just in the front, instead of the back. The teacher was silent for several seconds, and tried to correct me in a church appropriate way, but I doubled down, and insisted that my little brothers also had front tails too. This got so heated that the teacher had to go get my parents to take me out of Sunday School.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@BravishkaSkytano @RickiTarr my sister and i used to play "nose flute" while we were grocery shopping with mom and it would make her laugh so hard she'd be crying. she'd try to blurt out "stop it!!!" through her hysterical laughter but of course that only made us do it more.

i can barely describe what "nose flute" is with words that make any sense. um... imagine humming a tune while plugging your nose, and with each note you sorta twang one nostril open and close it rapidly... like i said, that hardly makes sense without actually demonstrating it in person... 🤣🤣🤣

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@superball @RickiTarr once i coughed and farted at the same time and proudly announced that i had just done a "coughpoop." (more of a fart than a poop, really; either way i found it hysterical, and so did my parents.)

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

I've been getting old my whole life.

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr my dad has all these sayings he loves to repeat... "it's hell to get old," he says, "but it beats the alternative."

perkinsy, (edited ) to random
@perkinsy@aus.social avatar

Families in Groote Eylandt and the Indonesian port of Makassar are working on tracing family connections. The Makassan trepang and pearl hunting work in northern Australian waters a couple of hundred years ago led to travel between the two places, marriages and children.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-03-31/odyssey-erin-parke-makassar-connection/103476888

rothko,
@rothko@beige.party avatar

@perkinsy i know next to nothing about that part of the world. so many people and languages and cultures, this world is endlessly fascinating and we can never learn enough about it all in one lifetime.

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