@LoganFive@beige.party
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LoganFive

@LoganFive@beige.party

I write one liners, two liners, and three liners.
I draw the line at four liners though.

Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo.

Former sketch/improv person. I love #Taskmaster, #OnePunchMan, and #Boundless (the endurance race show).

Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole.

Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married)

#humor
#humour
#comedy
#jokes
#dadjokes
#puns
#writing
#improv
#sketchcomedy
#standup
#fedi22

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

LoganFive, to random
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Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm partially falling apart.
There are a couple things I can do
Because it's only a partial eclipse of the heart.

LoganFive, to random
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Has anyone worked at a place where they actually had their shit together?

LoganFive, to random
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Did you know someone experiences identity theft every two seconds?

Follow this link from a strange email address to learn more.

RickiTarr, to random
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Hello! I want to do a Spooky Picture Prompt! So, find a picture in your camera roll that would represent the phrase:

Last Picture on the Camera Roll

This should be spooky, but completely up to your own interpretation. Here's one from me, with weird eclipse light.

LoganFive,
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@RickiTarr @Alice

The last picture on the camera roll. He just disappeared after that. Did he become a hotdog man? We don’t know. We may never know.

LoganFive, to random
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I have a friend who is sad and I’m trying to think of a good meme or something to send him. Any suggestions?

the_etrain, to random
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Wait. Mine say eclerps glasses. That can't be good.

LoganFive,
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@the_etrain This is why the 99 cent store is going out of business.

the_etrain, to random
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The sun has been shadow banned.

LoganFive,
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@the_etrain Shouldn’t have been talkin trash about all the moon’s craters.

LoganFive, to random
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What happened to @Eamon1916? Did he just disappear?

the_etrain, to random
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I like when people announce what words they're muting because then I can talk shit about them and just put a mute word in there.

boner

LoganFive,
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@mentallyalex @the_etrain I didn't even know this was a thing. Like, I knew it could be done with hashtags, but I didn't know it could be done for just any word. Now, how to use this newfound power....

the_etrain, to random
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I get it, man. You hate AI because I used it to make deepfake porn starring your parents and tricked you into opening it. I get it.

LoganFive,
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@the_etrain
Note to self: Talk to eTrain if you want revenge ideas.

RickiTarr, to random
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Some stuff we've pulled out of abandoned houses just left to rot:

A leather picture frame with an old time military painting, if you think you can tell me what it is of that would be awesome
An old Victorian Chest
This insane mid-century lamp it is pretty tall and is a very shiny copper color with ornate metal decoration

LoganFive,
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@RickiTarr @DespotOCosmos
Have you ever accidentally gone into a house that wasn’t abandoned?

LoganFive, to VintageOSes
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After rewatching Star Trek TOS, it seems like half the planets in the galaxy should have warning buoys.

@startrek

Alice, to random
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

LoganFive,
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@Alice Zoo staff throws them in a sewer.
"And now we wait."

mentallyalex, to random
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For her birthday, @Skepticat told me she wanted well wishes, follows, and for society to heal from these years of strife.

I feel like the last one is a stretch goal for a single day, but I would happily work on them.

Can you guys make sure you are following her and providing well wishes? That will help towards the society thing too! :blobcat_awauu:

LoganFive,
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@mentallyalex @Skepticat
Joyous anniversary of your uterine escape!

LoganFive, to random
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I don't need advertisements for the show I'm watching while I'm watching the show. You already got me.

the_etrain, to random
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Christmas joke in April? Affirmative. There are no rules.

LoganFive,
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@the_etrain We dressed up in Halloween costumes for Thanksgiving dinner. Anarchy!

RickiTarr, to random
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You are Entangled with someone, you'll see them throughout your life. You are connected in some way that always brings you back to this person. There's a good chance you don't like each other at all.

LoganFive,
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@RickiTarr Who are you Entangled with?

LoganFive,
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@zakalwe @RickiTarr

I can think of some people that I’d like to get a mind erase for, like from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”

LoganFive, to random
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Friend tells me a parable that’s thousands of years old.
The Writer in Me: Hmm…I have some notes.

LoganFive, to random
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I’m so tired of the enshitification of everything.

LoganFive,
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@the_etrain Exactly. So tired of The Bowel Movement (capitalized).

the_etrain, to random
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Bumpin' uglies sounds so bad. Let's say we were federating naughty bits.

LoganFive,
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@mentallyalex @BigAngBlack @the_etrain
She starred my post while I boosted her toots.

LoganFive, to random
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I must really be working out my waist muscles, because they keep growing.

LoganFive, to random
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You know you're getting old when gag gifts from the past become useful items.

LoganFive, to random
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He looked into the eyes of the children around the campfire and whispered, “Make no mistake. The rhythm is gonna get you. TONIGHT!”
The children jumped, terrified at the thought that Gloria Estefan might be real.

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