Back when social media was fun, a game we played was to write TV Guide-style summaries of terrible takes on movies that exist or terrible movies that should never exist. With the depressing news that Apple landed Neuromancer, I figured it was time to re-share this one that I wrote.
I watched ‘THE FANTASTIC FOUR’ (1994) for the #MBMC and I’m really glad I got to see this. I understand why it was never released, but it’s still a part of #Marvel history. Oh yeah, it’s BAD. I would say not as bad as Fant4stic, though. The musical score is perfectly-cheesy, the acting is charmingly-goofy and the film is brimming with heart. I recommend watching it once, if for no other reason than seeing the BEST live-action Dr. Doom in any film so far.
Greetings, true believers!! If you've never seen the 1994 film 'THE FANTASTIC FOUR' from producer Roger Korman, you wouldn't be at fault, since it was NEVER RELEASED. The good news is you can see it in its entirety on youtube right now. I'm watching it TONIGHT!! 🍻 #MastodonBadMovieClub#MBMC#BadMovies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN0FoR_FlZg
This is a hilarious rundown of an anti-gay movie that is beyond belief. It manages to be incoherent in terms of plot and philosophy, and has people of color in the worst roles I've ever seen. (Although: Vincente's lipgloss? Yes.) There's a moment at about 28:00 that made me and my partner physically cringe and groan!!
I watched ‘JACK FROST’ for the #MBMC, not to be confused with a number of other films with the same title. I was surprised at how much FUN this one was!! It was definitely STUPID, but in a really fun way! This is the kind of movie I love to laugh at. Also, Shannon Elizabeth was smokin’ hot in this. Her shower scene was amazing!! There’s apparently a sequel. I WILL be watching that soon.
Tonight's bad movie is Robot Holocaust (2.3/10 on IMDB).
This movie is just plain bad. Terrible acting. Tedious exposition from a disembodied villain. Costumes and sets are cheap and uninspired.
The vibe of this movie is dragging your unenthusiastic LARPer friends to the local park and refusing to let them leave until they participate in your amateur film project.
Everyone shits on Battlefield Earth, but it's significantly more enjoyable than Robot Holocaust.
I watched ‘NIGHT OF THE DEMONS’ for the #MBMC and it did not disappoint. The story is pretty simple. Teenagers party in a haunted house and get possessed by evil spirits. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Bad acting, terrible writing and awful special effects. That said, it was still a lot of fun. Gruesome kills, sexy women (including #LinneaQuigley and #AmeliaKinkade) and some very memorable moments make for an entertaining classic.
The acting is absolutely awful, but in a fun way, and the movie seems to have a decent budget for what it is. It's about as enjoyable as Land Shark was.
Fun fact, part of Liberi Fatali (the opening theme from Final Fantasy VIII) is used in the fight scene at 49:53. It's a little faint, but there's no way you could sneak that by me.
I watched ‘VICE ACADEMY 2’ for the #MBMC and it was just as stupid and horny as the first, not that that’s a bad thing. When your two leads are Ginger Lynn Allen and Linnea Quigley, you know what to expect. Nice surprise to see Teagan Clive. Big muscle women were mostly used as comic relief in movies like this, but in this one…. Wait, no. Yeah, comic relief here too. I liked the first Vice Academy more if I’m being honest, but this one was fun.
Look, if you put me in front of a Family Dollar DVD section with money in my pocket, the chances are high that I'm going to make a poor financial decision. I couldn't resist, I wanted a collection and thought I'd get way more bad movie entertainment value with this over Poltergeist II and III. #physicalmedia#horror#badmovies#movies
If you post something funny, I will boost it if I see it, and I may try to leave you a funny reply. I might fail!
Politics is a topic that I hate and somehow can't stop paying attention to. My political leaning is #liberal#Democrat. I will post and boost news and political topics that are breaking, under reported, and news from my state. I might get a little soap-boxey from time to time or go on a rant. I try to keep that to a minimum.
#Florida is where I call home, so say hello if you are a fellow swamp-dweller! And if you have any #Feditips, send them my way.
We're heading out to watch "Meg 2 The Trench" in a few minutes. Not the most stimulating cinema I'm sure but my daughter loves B monster movies so we're going to check it out. At least the theater has good popcorn.🍿
Have a good day everyone! Take it easy if you can.
Tomorrow I'm seeing the new Neil Breen movie, CADE: THE TORTURED CROSSING. Since it's a sequel, I had thought I should rewatch the original so I could follow the story. However, since this is a Breen film, that actually might be a detriment. #BadMovies
I watched ‘LIFEFORCE’ for the #MBMC and I think this movie should have been called, ‘MEN DO STUPID THINGS WHEN THEY SEE A NAKED WOMAN’ It just keeps happening. Naked woman walks in, men drool paralyzed as the blood rushes from their brain and then she very easily kills them. That said, they picked the perfect woman to walk around naked for the whole film. Mathilda May is absolutely stunning in this.
I watched ‘FOUR OF THE APOCALYPSE’ for the #MBMC and it was exactly what you can expect from a western directed by #LucioFuci. A bit of violence, a little nudity, and a whole lot of bad acting. What I didn’t expect was getting attached to the four leads. Stubby, Clem, Bunny and Bud. Also, I haven’t wanted a bad guy DEAD so much in a long time. Chaco is truly detestable. Might have gone on a little too long, but I liked it overall.
I am not sure if there are really ninjas in "American Ninja" (1985) - because they don´t wear a headband with the word "Ninja" like they do in movies by Godfrey Ho
I watched ‘VICE ACADEMY’ for the #MBMC and it would be generous to call it a low-budget Police Academy. The acting is atrocious and the writing is even worse. Linnea Quigley and Ginger Lynn are the leads, so you get exactly what you expect with this one. My favorite is ‘Shawnee’ (Karen Russell). Her um.. distraction technique (shown below) is quite.. effective. There are groan-worthy moments, but there are also some genuinely funny moments. #MastodonBadMovieClub#BadMovies