@ShiitakeToast@beige.party
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

ShiitakeToast

@ShiitakeToast@beige.party

I probably shouldn't be saying this. This is my shitposting handle for stuff that I don't necessarily want the boss to see. He/him. Here for jokes and cats, mostly. Profile pic is a smiling clipart cartoon mushroom. Header is a schematic of a public bathroom.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

StillIRise1963, to random
@StillIRise1963@mastodon.world avatar

My parents have been married 65 years today.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@StillIRise1963 mazel tov!

davidaugust, to Russia
@davidaugust@mastodon.online avatar

In his inauguration speech, Putin called Russia "Motherland" once and "Fatherland" four times.

Traditionally, russia has been personified as female, the Motherland. He even said, "...stability is not equal to inflexibility. Our state and social systems must be flexible, creating conditions for renewal and progress."

Does this mean putin is hinting at a transition and might stop being transphobic? 😉 Cue the memes.

His speech right from the Kremlin: http://en.kremlin.ru/events/president/news/73981

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@davidaugust lol. I think he may be nodding at actual neonazis.

skinnylatte, (edited ) to random
@skinnylatte@hachyderm.io avatar

Sometimes I think about how being an immigrant anywhere is about hedging your present choices against some unknowable future. To be a cog in a macro environment where you literally control nothing, but any small micro changes outside your control can mean you have to go, tomorrow.

Immigrants with privilege have a better shot, but it still holds. In some cases you have to win the literal lottery (most people have to win a H-1B lottery, to get a U.S. work visa, even if they have a job offer.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@skinnylatte @Ponygirl not just that, but the healthcare on offer is generally not available to immigrants easily, unless they’re coming with money already.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@Ponygirl @skinnylatte my daughter twisted her ankle on a trip France a few years ago. The bill for the hospital was supposed to be €50, but they didn’t actually have any means of contemporaneously generating a bill or accepting payment, and couldn’t send the bill to our US address. 🤷‍♂️

ShiitakeToast, to random
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

I think I’m in grumpy old man mode.

ShiitakeToast, to random
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

Do you think the men who are offended by women feeling safer with a bear are the same ones who answered that poll a couple of years ago saying they could fight a bear and win?
Which is it? Are you a safe and delicate snowflake who lacks the fortitude to hear otherwise or are you a dangerous beast, capable of crushing a bear with your bare hands?

msbellows, to random
@msbellows@c.im avatar

Erp. This whole concept is scary but arguably unavoidable; the last sentence, however, is terrifyingly naive for someone whose most important job qualification is to be "not naive":

"This F-16 was controlled by artificial intelligence, not a human pilot. And riding in the front seat was Air Force Secretary Frank Kendall... Even though the technology is not fully developed, the service is planning for an AI-enabled fleet of more than 1,000 unmanned warplanes, the first of them operating by 2028....

'The AI-controlled F-16, called Vista, flew Kendall in lightning-fast maneuvers at more than 550 miles an hour that put pressure on his body at five times the force of gravity. It went nearly nose to nose with a second human-piloted F-16 as both aircraft raced within 1,000 feet of each other, twisting and looping to try force their opponent into vulnerable positions.

"At the end of the hourlong flight, Kendall climbed out of the cockpit grinning. He said he’d seen enough during his flight that he’d trust this still-learning AI with the ability to decide whether or not to launch weapons in war."
https://apnews.com/article/artificial-intelligence-fighter-jets-air-force-6a1100c96a73ca9b7f41cbd6a2753fda?utm_source=flipboard&utm_medium=activitypub

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@msbellows Wager on the “AI” pilot being controlled by a remote human pilot like a drone? Not that they’d tell us, but come on.
Actually, given that US drone pilots are generally operating multiple drones at a time, I wouldn’t be shocked if they’ve been partially AI piloted for a while.

GrimmReality, (edited ) to random
@GrimmReality@beige.party avatar

The honest-to-fuck truth is, just as historical development and the long-game of domestication of animals go, humankind made a giant mistake of not domesticating bears along with wolves, so that could have both bear friends and dog friends. We could have big dumb funny bears hanging out with us and it would be both fearsome and hilarious.
https://social.tchncs.de/@vfrmedia/112378766402122620

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@GrimmReality If I remember the early 2000s correctly, this is the kind of candidate you could have a bear with.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What in the Conservative Hell?

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr If Ted Nugent handled a gun the way he handled a guitar, he’d be dead by now

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

Is… is this why food is so expensive now? Because companies think we are flush with cash from the stimulus checks three years ago?

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@StefanThinks I had to see it to believe it. https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/long-predicted-consumer-pullback-finally-hits-restaurants-like-starbucks-kfc-and-mcdonald-s/

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@ramsey @StefanThinks https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/long-predicted-consumer-pullback-finally-hits-restaurants-like-starbucks-kfc-and-mcdonald-s/ar-AA1nZPjg

LRRRonEarth, to random
@LRRRonEarth@beige.party avatar

WHO WOULD HONESTLY RATHER RUN INTO A DUDE INSTEAD OF A BEAR IN THE WOODS?

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@LRRRonEarth BEAR TASTES BETTER

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Glory hole implies dishonor plug.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain 🍾

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Hello, police? I'd like to report a crime. A person or persons stole my neck skin and replaced it with leather from a well used baseball glove.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@DemocracySpot @the_etrain I think this gets a zero context toot award.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain @DemocracySpot I use neosporin for that.

Adam_Cadmon1, to random
@Adam_Cadmon1@mastodon.online avatar

I'm not against people using whatever they use to get off ( as long as it's consensual and doesn't involve kids) but sex doll brothels still bother me.

They BOTHER ME.

Not the sex dolls. The sex doll brothels.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@_L1vY_ @ralfmaximus @Adam_Cadmon1 I’m picturing an Australian renting a chainsaw, cutting down a tree, being struck by a falling koala, getting the clap. Or do koalas have syphilis? I can’t remember.

skinnylatte, to animals
@skinnylatte@hachyderm.io avatar

I was able to get the drugs for her gallbladder compounded into little tiny chicken flavored treats.

Cookie doesn’t have many talents other than looking cute and ‘spitting out every goddamn pill’, ‘eating the pockets of pill pockets and removing the pill’ and ‘ignoring any food that has been contaminated by medicine’

So this will help!

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@skinnylatte when he was a kid, my dad had a bulldog whose stupid party trick was taking a whole hotdog bun with a lettuce leaf in his mouth, chewing, and spitting out the lettuce with 0 bite marks.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

See? Same problem as Hamas itself. When people don’t actually want to resolve the conflict, they make demands that can never be met. And that is precisely why so many Israeli hardliners feel justified in doing whatever it takes to destroy Hamas. Even if the death toll sickens some of them. They see it as their only option with an enemy that lets uncomprising terrorists lead them to only more death and destruction.

In reply to…
https://mastodon.social/@lawyersgunsnmoney@mstdn.social/112363328520129130

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@lakelady @shoq Divestment is possible. It’s not effective. Decades of trickle down economics have given rise to an investor class desperate for productive investments where they can stanch their mountains of cash. Large institutions selling their investments is a boon to ravenous capitalist raiders without making a dent in the corporation divested from.
Furthermore, for a lot of Israelis, and some American Jews as well, divestment sounds like “don’t do business with Jews”. When you add to that the push to exclude Israeli academics from American campuses it looks like you’re targeting people with little power to change anything. It plays into the Israeli founding mythology, serving as a reminder that Israel was carved out of a hostile region by refugees. It creates a defensive mentality that encourages Israeli militarism.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@lakelady @shoq to be clear, I don’t support what Israel is doing to Gaza and I don’t support using police to break up student protests. I’m just saying that the protests are not going to be effective against Netanyahu’s desperate attempt to stay out of prison.

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Given my middle-ageness, I will only be using this account to complain about the sodium content of food from here on out.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain HBD.

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Via Angry Staffer:

…Project 2025 ..

  • would let red states monitor & prosecute women who get abortions

  • won’t commit to defending NATO nations

  • wd fire attys who won’t prosec his political opponents

  • suspend posse comitatus & deploy the military on US soil

  • wd end pandemic preparedness office

  • wd fire 1000s of civil servants

  • pardon all J6 rioters

  • try to make law enf officers immune from prosec

If this doesn’t scare the living shit out of you, you aren’t paying attention.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@thepoliticalcat @TCatInReality @benroyce @GottaLaff the Abraham Accords, Trump’s only foreign policy achievement, was basically getting a number of Arab countries to say “yeah, fuck the Palestinians, we’re good with Israel now”

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

The Two Types of Vacationers:

Me: Hey Honey, what do you want to do on vacation? I want to walk somewhere lovely and try something new every day.

Hubs: Sleep as long as I want.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr our family vacations tend to involve a lot of cultural immersion, museums, and other adventures. We’re all basically on the same page about that. We have friends who live very differently, however, including one family of beach-layabouts, whose daughter complained about a trip to DC “This is like a Toast family vacation, I’m exhausted!”

mekkaokereke, to random
@mekkaokereke@hachyderm.io avatar

Again for people (racists), complaining about falling birth rates:

The birth rate for women over 40 is not falling. The birth rate for women over 30 is not falling.

What's happening, is girls 15 to 17 are having fewer babies. Kids are having fewer kids.

Also, this is an interesting way of saying that "Teen pregnancy is down, due to sex education and contraception."

In 1991 25% of 15 year olds gave birth before they turned 21. That's bad. Now it's 6%. That's better.

https://npr.org/2023/01/08/1147737247/teen-pregnancy-rates-have-declined-significantly

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@MisuseCase @mekkaokereke real immigration reform would also involve significant aid packages to other countries paid for by imposing severe consequences on US companies that caused the humanitarian and environmental crises in other countries in the first place. And somehow convincing the CIA that human rights movements aren’t the red menace.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@MisuseCase @mekkaokereke but also holy crap about the falling birth rate thing! I knew that teen pregnancy was down, but I didn’t know that’s what these people were complaining about. Yikes!

futurebird, to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

Trump is considering a rally in my neighborhood, the South Bronx.

I think he still thinks it's bombed out here with the buildings falling down?

Look at the photo the Post used to represent the south bronx LOL. It's the TRAIN YARD they wanted to show something dilapidated so badly. LAMO. Poor things.

I don't think he'll come. A beautiful working class hood full of black and brown people nah.

The Bronx is full wonderful people who don't like you at all.

ShiitakeToast,
@ShiitakeToast@beige.party avatar

@futurebird looks like there are a lot of construction workers working on the rail line. Is it infrastructure week?

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