@andymoose@mastodon.social
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

andymoose

@andymoose@mastodon.social

Immune compromised Scala/Java/Golang/Rust/Haskell self employed developer, stuck at home because of how mild COVID is. Getting rather pissed off about it. Father of autistic boy. Anti-fascist. See a nazi, punch a nazi. 🌈 I hold the opinion that convicted billionaire fraudsters should go to big-boy prisons and not minimum security country clubs (ok Emma?)

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

Maybe Donald Trump just likes losing money. I mean he’s sure gotten damn good at it.

Source: @memeorandum
https://mastodon.social/@memeorandum@universeodon.com/112080089184179106

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq @memeorandum it’s going to be a sort of judge drinking game. Everyone who’s presided over a Trump/Carrol lawsuit DRINK!!

craiggrannell, to random
@craiggrannell@mastodon.social avatar

Had a nice weekend. But I’d quite like Second Weekend now. Why isn’t Second Weekend a thing?

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@craiggrannell “we’ve had one weekend, yes. But what about second weekend?”

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

I struggle to remember people wanting other people to have dysentery just because they had it and feel like others should too so they feel better about it.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

Treating my depression by taking 2 blueberry waffles after every meal.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

“I’d like you to smash these 4 tables together into one Uber-table that contains the same data and to keep the contents in sync”

Let me explain relational databases to you again, and this time put down the crayons and listen.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

lol whatever man, go and pet the bison

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

CDC Director: ok, what do you have so far?

PR exec: ok, we call it a cold.

Director: no, that won’t fly, the symptoms are often too severe for that

PR exec: ok, option 2: “flu-like”….

Director: you son of a bitch. Love it.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

I've been billed $5 something by AWS for many many years and I don't really know what for - not exactly, and my credit card just expired. If I leave things alone, will they resolve themselves?

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

Dear Void,

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Best wishes,
Kind regards,
Yours sincerely

arstechnica, to random
@arstechnica@mastodon.social avatar

CDC ditches 5-day COVID isolation, argues COVID is becoming flu-like

The agency released a unified "practical" guidance for respiratory viruses.

https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/03/cdc-ditches-5-day-covid-isolation-argues-covid-is-becoming-flu-like/?utm_brand=arstechnica&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@arstechnica you forgot to say “against all evidence”.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

Ok so should adults over the age of 40 get measles booster shots? Are we at the point where this might be prudent or is the normal childhood MMR still good?

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

rock climbing is the safest form of travel

VeryBadLlama, to random
@VeryBadLlama@mas.to avatar

dear diary, it has been 437 days since my husband disappeared under mysterious circumstances. alas, I am unable to inform the police, for I am a mere woman.

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@VeryBadLlama it’s nice that they self-label themselves as incels. Makes it so much easier.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

to ignore your instincts and have a second date with the crypto bro who refuses to make eye contact with other women and screamed abuse at the waiter.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

it’s ok if the SSL certificate only expired a day ago. It’s fine.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

to ignore the ssl warnings when visiting your bank’s website

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

The market will provide solutions to our problems.

The Market:

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

Do you get a discount on your car insurance if you haven't been repeatedly infected with a pathogen that causes cognitive disfunction?

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

Good morning. I’m sensing a very deep fatigue coming over America. And that’s exactly what the bad guys want. For us to be so worn out and weary that we stop resisting their daily shamfuckery.

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq given the portrayal of Americans in Hollywood movies over the last 50 years, as a non-American, I’m confused that people haven’t rebelled against the evil fucks who are blatantly flouting norms and laws to try to collapse your democracy. I’d have expected more. I understand that any fight would be bloody given how prevalent guns are there, just an observation.

shoq, to random
@shoq@mastodon.social avatar

My handyman and yard guy pulled up in his truck to tell me he’s temporarily homeless. He wants to save up for an apartment by living out of his truck in a Walmart’s parking lot every night. (He showed off this massive foam mattress he installed in the back seat of the truck.) I offered him my yard to park in, but he says he feels safer under the lights at Walmart where the police are on patrol. I told him he can shower here a couple a few times a week. He just left.

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@shoq don’t the police in the US have a habit of shooting people caught sleeping in their cars on commercial property?

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

I wonder how much my dentist charged my insurance for the 20 minute appointment this morning. I’ll bet it’s a lot. Gotta pay for that Whistler ski lodge somehow.

MissingThePt, to random
@MissingThePt@mastodon.social avatar

Ran some numbers on this. The world population is 8.1 billion. If I launch MTPMail as part of my Premium $3 million/mo subscription and get just one out of every million people to switch over that’s $24.3 BILLION A MONTH in new revenues for me. Wow!

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@MissingThePt is there anything this mofo doesn’t reply to with “it’s on its way” or “interesting”?

GrimmReality, to random
@GrimmReality@beige.party avatar

LAKE SUPERIOR: I call this meeting to order. Any new business? Yes, the goth girl.

LAKE ERIE: Point of order: Fuck you.

LAKE SUPERIOR: Incisive contribution as per usual.

LAKE MICHIGAN: OK one, nobody put you in charge and, two, you can't just decide all our names.

LAKE SUPERIOR: Thank you, Lake Flaccidcock, any other items?

LAKE TITIKAKA [waking up on sofa]: Aw man am I hungover, the hell'd we do last night?

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@GrimmReality this is the best lake skit I’ve ever seen. It’s also the only lake skit I’ve ever seen.

andymoose, to random
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

Imagine what a game changer being able to mind meld with a doctor would be. They could experience your physical issues and maybe actually be able to help.

“Right, your mind to my mind….argh! ARGHHHHH!!!! FUCK WHAT THE HELL! HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO FUNCTION LIKE THIS!!!!”

nixCraft, to random
@nixCraft@mastodon.social avatar

😂 Elon Musk just crawled from under a rock and discovered something that has been bothering people for years. It is just too funny not to share this one.

andymoose,
@andymoose@mastodon.social avatar

@nixCraft horse tranquilizers cut with borax is a hell of a drug.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • megavids
  • normalnudes
  • magazineikmin
  • GTA5RPClips
  • everett
  • rosin
  • Youngstown
  • ngwrru68w68
  • slotface
  • osvaldo12
  • Durango
  • kavyap
  • InstantRegret
  • DreamBathrooms
  • JUstTest
  • khanakhh
  • tacticalgear
  • tester
  • thenastyranch
  • mdbf
  • ethstaker
  • cisconetworking
  • Leos
  • modclub
  • anitta
  • cubers
  • provamag3
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •