@juanejot@beige.party
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juanejot

@juanejot@beige.party

Linux, biology & sci-fi nerd, father, thinks he's funny. 🙄

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Alice, to random
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The new Acuras are about to be announced so no spoilers, please.

juanejot,
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@Alice Noted; I’ll be sure to make my spoilers more precise than accurate.

the_etrain, to random
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I imagine everyone is making pasta now since you already had the colander out.

juanejot,
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@the_etrain There’s always a religious reaction to such celestial events. Wonder what the upswing in Pastafarian self-identification is?

Alice, to random
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Before the Big Bang, there was no Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, and Start.

juanejot,
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@Alice And gawd said, “Let there be Konami code.”

juanejot, to HashtagGames
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The airing of grievances. No wait, that’s… no, that’s right.

StefanThinks, to random
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If I was a journalist interviewing a celebrity or politician and they started complaining about wokeness or cancel culture, I would ask, “Can you define that? Please give specific examples.” It's so disappointing to see everyone jump on the vague buzzword boogieman bandwagon without any pushback.

juanejot, (edited )
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@StefanThinks They would then have to come up with a bespoke "woke" anecdote.

(Sorry; besides the flippancy of my semi-rhyming compulsion, I'm in agreement with the frustration over the lack of accountability for descriptive bandwagon jumping. False equivalency drawers gonna draw, and I guess it behooves the rest of us to peer under what they've--to extend the metaphor--scrawled in crayon.
(Meanwhile, who has time to do that? Modern life can suck.)

A la (and this is not the first place I've seen this, but it'll do for now): https://techhub.social/@SmallOther/112220225066045420

juanejot, to random
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Berenstoyne Bares/Schrödinger’s Mandela cognitive dissonance time:
Who remembered that this song was NOT by The Kinks?

https://youtu.be/Rqnw5IfbZOU

juanejot,
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@Alice That IS fun! Someone on my wife’s side of the family had unspecified* “what might have been” with a member of the ST:TNG cast (before they were such).
*Because it’s not my story to tell. Sorry to dangle that & then not get into it, but I won’t. You’ll just have to wonder whether there could have been yellow-eyed, bearded, very empathic, ridge-headed, visored, bald (not hard at that age), red-headed, or otherwise distinctive babies crawling around, had this timeline played out differently.

LoganFive, to VintageOSes
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After rewatching Star Trek TOS, it seems like half the planets in the galaxy should have warning buoys.

@startrek

juanejot,
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@startrek @LoganFive Of course, an orbiting platform could have other uses besides warning. See TNG’s The Inner Light. They could also somewhat play a filtering function, see:

https://youtu.be/pWS8Mg-JWSg

juanejot, to random
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Yay, a kilotoot on this account!

Alice, (edited ) to random
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It's an episode of MasterChef where Master Splinter is horrified when the contestant announces that their signature dish is heroes in a half shell.

juanejot,
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@Alice King Yertle too, would like to register a diplomatic complaint (mostly because he finds the cookware too small, so he’s piling his subjects up under himself to find a way out).

Alice, to random
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I wonder if Jason Derulo knows his made up last name is an anagram for louder.

I personally know this because I have caught myself trying to play DERULO in Words With Friends an embarrassing amount of times before I realize it's not a real word and then rearrange the letters to spell LOUDER instead.

juanejot,
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@Alice That said, if you play “WIGGLE” strategically, that W and those Gs score pretty well.

Alice, (edited ) to random
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I love when @Kierkegaanks and @the_etrain show up next to each other in my notifications, but I'm still not convinced they aren't the same person.

juanejot,
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@Alice @Kierkegaanks @the_etrain (Fires up the GIMP to try to add a hat to his penguin.)

the_etrain, to random
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If Yosemite Sam was on social media I think he'd mostly be ornery posting.

juanejot,
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@the_etrain If Foghorn Leghorn was on social media: “I made, I say, I made a funny, son. And you’re not boostin’!”

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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I see a new Talented Mr Ripley is also out this week. Why not just remake everything with a new spin on it. Godfather. Lord of the Rings. Schindlers List? PASSION OF THE CHRIST STARRING DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?

juanejot,
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@TheBreadmonkey A remake of The Gladiator, with Cedric the Entertainer bellowing with wide arms, “Are you not entertained?!?”

Alice, (edited ) to random
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The perfect portmanteau is Bartmanteau.

juanejot,
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@Alice “Don’t have a c-o memsahib, Bart. Rabbi has memo.”

A partially-palindromic Bartmanteau

Or a titular mondegreen for the theme: “This imp, sons!”

nocontexttrek, to StarTrek
@nocontexttrek@mastodon.social avatar

He is risen

juanejot,
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@nocontexttrek And ready to deliver Priestly Blessings 🖖 more than three weeks early for Passover

Alice, to random
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Who says romance is dead?

juanejot,
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@Alice “Baby, we fit together like two hydrogens and an oxygen. Which reminds me… you’re open to another atom joining us, right?”

Alice, to random
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When Zooey Deschanel marries Jonathan from the Property Brothers, will she take his name and become Zooey Property?

juanejot,
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@Alice Sorry; I'm looking for more of a wildlife sanctuary property.

StefanThinks, to random
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Jesus died for your sins, so get out there and sin so it won’t have been for naught. Don’t embarrass him.

juanejot,
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@StefanThinks He died so you don’t have to!
Well, except for the once. And I suppose if you believe in reincarnation, all those other times.
Where were we? Oh yeah: SIN IS GOOD!!!
(Unceremoniously falls off showroom roof onto a mattress on a truck. The mattress then slides off the truck. There is a quiet pause. People start running into the shot, visibly slowing and calming when a faint “I’m alright!” echoes up from the mattress.)
cigarette burn

juanejot, to random
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Found the dogs standing, both of them, in the kitchen doorway as I retrieved their filled dishes to prep. Very nearly chose to serenade them to the tune of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

“In the doorway,
The tiny doorway,
The dogs stand ‘round tonight!
In the doorway,
The tiny doorway,
The dogs stand ‘round tonight!
Come OooOOo~oOn…!
(You’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way—)
Move it doggos, for dinner time tonight!
(You’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way—)
Move it, my doggos, if you want dinner made tonight!”

https://youtu.be/OQlByoPdG6c

juanejot, to random
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My eldest and I share a sense of humor.
E: “Hey Dad! [Without answer, proceeds to explain the setup for a Simpsons joke I either saw 20~25 years ago & so WOULD know by heart if it could be heard; or which I never saw because it’s too new & devoting attention to the show while my brain works overtime to determine whether it’s still good would be too much].”
Me (Looks up from the dishwashing or vacuuming or listening to music or whatever else I’m doing, invariably more than halfway through the explanation): “What?”
E: “Never mind!”
Classic.

Alice, to random
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Who let Schrödinger adopt a cat in the first place?

juanejot,
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@Alice Schrödinger’s Humane Society Application

Alice, to random
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You have to be kind of smart to think of jokes this dumb.

juanejot,
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@Alice Fry and I can’t tell if you mean more Joey Tribbiani dumb, or Ralph Wiggum dumb, or Good Soldier Švejk dumb, or Br’er Rabbit dumb, or…?

the_etrain, to random
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Inside you, there are two Airwolves. Tiny helicopters zooming around your bloodstream, blasting pathogens with little rockets, expertly navigating your heart valves.

juanejot,
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@the_etrain It’s not the white blood cells that germs have to watch out for; it’s the

Alice, to random
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I worked at different Apple Stores over several years starting from 2005 on, and one of my favorite stories is from when I worked in an Apple Store in the suburbs of Chicago and Harold Ramis came in to buy an iPhone.

Everyone was warned to not mention ANYTHING about Ghostbusters or his past career and my coworker patiently worked with him on selecting his iPhone model and getting it activated.

Once everything was finally set up, Harold placed the phone next to his ear and my coworker clearly lost all control because he said:

“Who you gonna call?”

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@Alice Ramis puts Ray Parker Jr on speakerphone.

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