@juanejot@beige.party
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

juanejot

@juanejot@beige.party

Linux, biology & sci-fi nerd, father, thinks he's funny. 🙄

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juanejot, to random
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

Found the dogs standing, both of them, in the kitchen doorway as I retrieved their filled dishes to prep. Very nearly chose to serenade them to the tune of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

“In the doorway,
The tiny doorway,
The dogs stand ‘round tonight!
In the doorway,
The tiny doorway,
The dogs stand ‘round tonight!
Come OooOOo~oOn…!
(You’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way—)
Move it doggos, for dinner time tonight!
(You’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way—)
Move it, my doggos, if you want dinner made tonight!”

https://youtu.be/OQlByoPdG6c

juanejot, to random
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

My eldest and I share a sense of humor.
E: “Hey Dad! [Without answer, proceeds to explain the setup for a Simpsons joke I either saw 20~25 years ago & so WOULD know by heart if it could be heard; or which I never saw because it’s too new & devoting attention to the show while my brain works overtime to determine whether it’s still good would be too much].”
Me (Looks up from the dishwashing or vacuuming or listening to music or whatever else I’m doing, invariably more than halfway through the explanation): “What?”
E: “Never mind!”
Classic.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Who let Schrödinger adopt a cat in the first place?

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@Alice Schrödinger’s Humane Society Application

Alice, (edited ) to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Stone Kohl's Steve Austin

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@Alice Kohl’d you tell me where I could find a K-mart?

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

Dad: WTF happened to the mogwai I got you??

Me: I think it died.

Dad: You let it starve?

Me: Look, the instructions said not to feed it after midnight, so I didn't feed it after midnight. The instructions were not clear when it was ok to feed it.

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@StefanThinks Don’t feed it songs Eric Clapton covered & popularized. Come to think of it, don’t feed ANYONE songs either stolen or written by that racist COVID denialist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/After_Midnight_(J._J._Cale_song)

rephlex00, to random
@rephlex00@beige.party avatar

It’s dangerous to go alone, take this.

[antidepressants]

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@rephlex00 @maxleibman (Oops; somehow scrolled right past yours. You have precedence, good sir!)

juanejot, to HashtagGames
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

Refried refried beans

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Enough is enough! I've had it with these motherfucking eels on this motherfucking hovercraft!

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain Sounds like someone needs a hug! Just remember, as this Hungarian to English phrasebook points out, that it’s up to whether to reproach commentary from your hugger, on your physical appearance.

juanejot, to HashtagGames
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

“Patty CAKE, patty CAKE, baker’s man…”

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

I don’t think this flight attendant is a fan of Red Robin because they were NOT happy with me using the airplane lavatory to join the Mile High Mud Pie Club.

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@Alice Going from your previous toot on the subject, I'mma refer to that as "Baked 'At last: Aaaaaah!'"

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What's a good movie to watch with your Mom?

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr I know you mean this to be an uplifting exercise, but I still can't hush the snappy answers:

Neither the first scene of Blade Runner, nor Harold and Maude.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Don't worry, it's impossible to die when you're already dead.

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr @Alice Free association and Oscars timing led me to assume a connection with Barney Gumble’s entry into the Springfield Film Festival.

https://youtu.be/xn3hcNHLVP0

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

Unsolicited advice on an apparent joke post is my favorite.

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@StefanThinks @glasspusher Drug commercial voiceover: “Unsolicited advice on an apparent fart joke may lead to an important diagnosis. Speak to your doctor today.”

juanejot, to HashtagGames
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

A journey of a thousand steps can be spoofed on your smartwatch by swinging your arms around a bunch.

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

I’d be dune some spice if I had a hookup.

juanejot,
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@StefanThinks I’d take a Muad’Dab.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

This looks like the final clue in an episode of Law and Order: SVU:

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr Robert Stack: “It was as if the Toe Bean Stalker could just climb into the sky… and disappear.”

juanejot, to HashtagGames
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

(I’d mention “E.T.,” but they’re both execrable.)

juanejot, to HashtagGames
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

Gallis Pole Position

the_etrain, (edited ) to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Round 6! (I think. We'll just say 6.)

Best movie mash-up

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain Inrencepdition
Mary Reilly Poppins
2001: An Office Space Odyssey
The Slumdog Six Million Dollar Man
Kindergarten Copalypse Now
Star Wars: A New Hope Floats
The Power of the Shaggy Dog
Monster, Inc.
The Eternal Danny Boyle's Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Three Men and a Baby Driver

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Who else has their alarm sound set to the "WAKE UP!" part of Chop Suey! by SOAD and who else is probably going to get divorced because of it?

juanejot, (edited )
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@Alice I had the high-pitched guitar, and the thunderous drums of the opening of their “A.D.D.” blasting through my car stereo (because it was alphabetically the first song on my playlist), till Apple did us the “service” of taking all the music off the phone & “uploading” it, which meant wiping it in favor of streaming.
I ALMOST missed the mad dash to turn the stereo down before the earnest booming began, the day it disappeared.
Better than it blasting U2 I hadn’t wanted, I guess…

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar
juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain Who knew 💩-posts could be the signposts of our way along The Darkest Timeline?

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

My aunt keeps blasting the family group text with her conservative drivel. Is Facebook down or something?

juanejot,
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@Alice If she leaves mid-sentence a la “Hunter Biden fed my cat spiked catn—,” then you know it’s back up.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

You have to be kind of smart to think of jokes this dumb.

juanejot,
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@Alice Fry and I can’t tell if you mean more Joey Tribbiani dumb, or Ralph Wiggum dumb, or Good Soldier Švejk dumb, or Br’er Rabbit dumb, or…?

thelinuxEXP, to macos
@thelinuxEXP@mastodon.social avatar

A few years ago, I made a video to showcase an easy method to run on . Since then, that method was discontinued and was never updated, so I decided to revisit the topic!

So, here is a very slightly more complex way to get a MacOS virtual machine on Linux, a few tips to configure everything, and a look at the use cases and the limitations:

https://youtu.be/Qa6y_CiyAMA

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@thelinuxEXP Welp, I Icarus'ed that 💩: Felt sure that since it let me get all the way up to 14.3.1, surely it would let me update it to 14.4. Nope: Spice's USB passthrough went kaput (or rather, the VM stopped taking it… as I had no right to expect it to do, so far out of spec for supported OS versions), so I had to manually select USB inputs for even keyboard & mouse, which made them unavailable to the host until guest shutdown. That ain't gonna work as a sustainable solution.
Now I'm off to back up my bare metal, just in case 14.4 does something weird to my USB setup there!

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Inside you, there are two Airwolves. Tiny helicopters zooming around your bloodstream, blasting pathogens with little rockets, expertly navigating your heart valves.

juanejot,
@juanejot@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain It’s not the white blood cells that germs have to watch out for; it’s the

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