@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

unrelatedwaffle

@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social

antifascist, linguist, language enthusiast, coder, ex-academic, translator, artist, armchair sociologist, lefty, experienced weirdo, mom

covid is not over | 日本語が話せます | je parle français | estudio español | baby yiddish learner | she/her

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unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

the absolute most hilarious suggestion i've ever seen for kids who are picky eaters is to "just make them a smoothie!" listen if your kid will even touch a smoothie you don't have a picky eater

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Something I've noticed a lot lately, is that especially Boomer women, but honestly, women in general, don't seem to ask for what they want or need in a direct way. I notice this a lot with my Mom and her friends. Instead of just asking for what they need directly they tell a story, to ask in a roundabout way. For instance, my Mom needed help this morning, and Instead of just saying, "Hey, I dropped my remote, can you pick it up for me?" She tells a one minute story about what happened, no ask, and eventually I get the point, and then suggest that I come pick it up. Or if one of her friends wants to do something like have a birthday party for a friend, they don't say "We should have a party!" They say, It's Sarah's Birthday coming up, you know she likes surprises, what does everyone think we should do?"

I often wonder if this is why older people think younger women are rude and demanding, because younger people often just ask for what they want and need in a more direct way. But also it's probably just straight up sexism, because men are supposed to make decisions, and women are supposed to make suggestions.

What do you all think? Is this just me? Have you experienced something similar?

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@RickiTarr Some of us get told "no" when we ask directly for what we need so often that we've mostly given up. The indirectness means you can tell yourself the person just missed your hints instead of constantly feeling the pain of knowing everyone around you doesn't give a shit about what you need

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@RickiTarr i would also add that someone picking up on what you like or want and doing it themselves means they do it willingly. if someone makes me dinner for my birthday it's a thoughtful and considerate gift. if i tell them i want them to make them dinner for my birthday, then it could be against their will. i want to be with people who are kind and not just doing things begrudgingly when asked

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

taking time off work for chemo might make your boss sad so you should try apple cider vinegar

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

restaurants should use the same knife to cut raw chicken and uncooked vegetables, because it would be mildly inconvenient and take slightly longer to wash that knife and get a whole second cutting board

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

a male engineer just referred to the only woman on the team as "the team mom." dear men: don't ever. EVER. do this

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

the internet should be a public utility and all lines, servers, data centers, what have you should be publicly owned. jeff bezos should not own a majority of the machines the internet lives on. the people make the internet live. the people must own it.

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

humans are still better than computers at almost everything and we need to act like it

TarkabarkaHolgy, to Parenting
@TarkabarkaHolgy@ohai.social avatar

Toddler: "Mom, what is that?"

Me, munching on secret chocolate: "... nothing."

Toddler: "Mom, open your mouth!"

Me: .... chews faster

😅

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@TarkabarkaHolgy the correct answer is "vegetables, want some?"

timnitGebru, to random
@timnitGebru@dair-community.social avatar

What a painful article to read my god.

"Shults & Lane...were on the ground as part of a contract they signed with the UN in August to develop a first-of-its-kind AI model that they hope will help analyze solutions to the Israel-Palestinian conflict."

"The digital twin Lane is speaking of is CulturePulse’s multi-agent AI model that they are currently building for the UN."

The UN needs a spine not a "multi-agent AI model."

https://www.wired.com/story/culturepulse-ai-israeli-palestinian-crisis/

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@timnitGebru tech people once again leaning right into the "i would rather do literally anything than talk to a person or take the humanities seriously" stereotype

taylorlorenz, to random
@taylorlorenz@mastodon.social avatar

Excellent story on how HBO execs used an army of secret fake accounts on Twitter to harass TV critics who gave poor reviews to their shows

It shows why people shouldn't just write off anonymous comments online as just "trolls" — some of them are coordinated campaigns by extremely powerful people with an axe to grind.
https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/hbo-casey-bloys-secret-twitter-trolls-tv-critics-leaked-texts-lawsuit-the-idol-1234867722/

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@taylorlorenz The thin-skinned fake account shenanigans take the spotlight here, but jfc the buried lede on sexual harassment and discrimination in the case??? "Some of the harassment was specific to Temori’s sexual orientation, the lawsuit claims, with one HBO employee allegedly slapping Temori’s butt, blowing kisses, and “commenting about personal and sexual matters.” " ???? hello???????

TheConversationUS, to Halloween
@TheConversationUS@newsie.social avatar

Young adults love , and spend more money on costumes than any other age group.

Some blame it on ’ refusal to grow up and enter the “real world.”
But that’s too simplistic of an explanation, this scholar writes.

“If Halloween has become more popular among adults, it's because traditional markers of adulthood have become less clear and less attainable.”
https://theconversation.com/why-has-halloween-become-so-popular-among-adults-104896

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@TheConversationUS Why is having fun considered childish? It's a damn holiday, let people have fun without manufacturing generation gap nonsense about it.

maxleibman, to random
@maxleibman@mastodon.social avatar

Something tonight reminded me of an old Twitter rant (sorry, no citation—I am not logging in) to the effect of “GenX is middle aged now. Your 50-something asshole landlord is Generation X, not a Boomer."

I believe the OP's point was about our stereotypes of generations becoming ossified, but I also recall some people taking it as "It’s not just boomers—all the olds are bad!”

But Millennials aren't magic. In another ten years or so, they will be 50-something asshole landlords, too.

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@maxleibman anything but say the quiet part out loud, that sole proprietorship, corporate hierarchy, labor exploitation, and aiming for endless growth are BAD THINGS WE PRETEND ARE GOOD

vicgrinberg, to random
@vicgrinberg@mastodon.social avatar

People post because they want to vent, to share their frustration, to make others laugh or shake heads. If ppl post to get advice, they usually ask.

So: You want to give advice?

Has the person explicitly asked for it? No? Then don't.

But you really, really want to give advice! Still: no!

But your advice is really relevant! Still: no.

But you also know the person well (you follow them & they you & you interacted): ask if they want advice. If they don't explicitly say yes - it's still a no.

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@vicgrinberg so many people are like this offline as well. do they know people sometimes vent? and a great response is empathy and validation? it's like a whole ass Thing?????

no, only my self-centered communication style wherein i swoop in to Solve Problems and then earn kudos, because i cannot tolerate negative emotions or uncertainty, is the correct one.

dangoodin, to random

A reminder to people still using the deadbird site: Twitter is every bit as sleazy and harmful as the Daily Stormer or Breitbart. When you tweet, you bring legitimacy to a platform that rightly deserves to be ostracized. And sorry, but this applies to everyone, no matter your income level, race, gender identity, etc.

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@dangoodin The replies here are cracking me up.

Like...Twitter is a website, and not even a very good one. It is suuuuuuuch a minimal ask for most people to switch to something else. Yeah, it's a little annoying? LIKE MOVING TO A NEW COUNTRY??? are. you. kidding. me.

people are acting like you're asking them to renounce all earthly possessions and move to a farm off-grid. it's a website!!!!!!!

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

I'm reading https://www.manning.com/books/the-programmers-brain and while I appreciate the concept and what she's trying to do, I'm a little irritated by some poor communication/misunderstanding of concepts that makes me wary of trusting things she says in later chapters/her interpretation of studies.

Her framework that confusion comes from different sources is a good one, but the details are just off. Her description of short-term memory is not quite accurate for what she means, I think because she really wanted to have the triad of long-term memory/short-term memory/working memory as the frame for how you might have difficulty understanding code, but working memory is kind of a subset of STM (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2657600/).

Coming from a social science/cog sci/psych background, these are very basic concepts and i REALLY don't want to have to explain that working memory and short-term memory aren't two distinct things to programmers who have only read this book and think they are experts on cog sci now.

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

You know what would actually work on me, nonprofits and politicians who are fundraising? A very short email that said "hey, we know everyone is stretched thin, but we know you've donated in the past and are just reaching out in case you have some extra money this quarter. we exist, don't forget about us! we have a match this month so it's a good opportunity to make an impact right now."

you know what makes me NOT want to donate? 3000 word emails about how urgent everything is all the time, delivered to my inbox or phone number daily, phone calls by people making minimum wage reading a long script, made to me during my work day, from a local area code to make me think it's something important like my kid's school or doctor calling. Fuck off, that's shitty and I'm not going to feel bad about hanging up on you OR not donating.

unrelatedwaffle, to random
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

deplatforming works https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2214080120

kissane, to random
@kissane@mas.to avatar

Over the next two weeks, I'll be publishing a series of four (well, 4.5) posts about Meta's role in the genocide of the Rohingya in Myanmar.

Part I is up now, along with a little meta-post with notes on terminology and sources and ct.

https://erinkissane.com/meta-in-myanmar-part-i-the-setup

https://erinkissane.com/meta-meta

These posts are aimed squarely at people like me and my tech-world peers—people who work on and care about social technologies.

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@kissane thank you so much for your hard work writing this. it's so important.

HeavenlyPossum, to random
@HeavenlyPossum@kolektiva.social avatar

My correspondent below makes the argument that any effort by an exploited class to end its exploitation will necessarily be violent.

People will want revenge. It will be bloody. The poor will rise up against the rich and murder them; all we have to do is look at an historical example like, say, the Romanovs of Russia to see that this is true.

But is it?

https://phpc.social/@chrastecky/111136122961496278

1/

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@HeavenlyPossum See http://cup.columbia.edu/book/why-civil-resistance-works/9780231156820

Sheril, to Women
@Sheril@mastodon.social avatar

Looking at my female dominated grad cohort 20yrs ago, I expected we were going to be part of a shift to include more women in science as our careers advanced.

But retention percentages for women from student to full professor are the same now as they were when I started writing about it in the 2000s.

Academia doesn’t support in .

unrelatedwaffle,
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

@Sheril love people in this thread being like "but whyyyy." because male-dominated spaces are at best uncomfortable and at worst hostile and horrible for women. be that in the workplace or anywhere else. full stop. don't believe me? ask some women you know about sexism at work.

men have to work on their sexism on their own time. it can't just be a couple of diversity trainings. the attitudes come from a lifetime of shit, it takes constant effort to do better.

unrelatedwaffle, to devops
@unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

I don't work directly for this company but I'll be on a project with them soon and I'd love to work with cool, empathetic people: https://www.archesys.io/roles

ryanhoulihan, to random
@ryanhoulihan@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    unrelatedwaffle,
    @unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

    @ryanhoulihan these boots aren't gonna lick themselves!

    unrelatedwaffle, to random
    @unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

    i can never be shamed for feeling satisfied when rich people suffer or die.

    did you know WIC doesn't give many mothers enough formula to feed their babies? you can find forums of mothers desperate to stretch 24 oz a day for hungry babies that normally eat 32 oz a day, who trade tips for surviving the month or starting babies on solids earlier.

    unrelatedwaffle,
    @unrelatedwaffle@kolektiva.social avatar

    this is a direct result of rampant inequality caused by a selfish and greedy elite. they are stealing and hoarding everything. they are violent towards us every day. why should they get one molecule of sympathy for anything ever

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