Someone asked me recently about the ability to "Read the Room" and whether or not this was a skill that can be developed. I certainly believe it is a skill and can be cultivated. Perhaps the most impactful maxim which can guide us in this regard was taught to me by a Jedi Knight who went by the name Zenchi from the Temple of the Jedi Order. He told me, "Learn to Observe without needing to React."
The Internet, particularly the social media algorithm demon, has created an incentive not just to React to everything, but to Observe specifically to React. In this way we often bias our interpretation of that which we observe with a skew towards the least charitable interpretation so that our reaction can be as extreme as possible.
To counteract this and hone this skill of reading the room, we can practice several behaviors that will improve our lives.
First, be the last person to speak in an interaction. When you allow everyone else to have their say, it gives you a chance to examine their perspectives and gauge their intentions.
Second, questions are better than statements. The cultivation of curiosity leads to more robust conversations. A statement can often be viewed as dismissive or ultimate in nature, sometimes leaving a conversation partner feeling as though there's nothing left to say. Curiosity, by contrast, is almost always viewed as an invitation to continue discourse.
Third, speak in a way that is pleasant. We've been taught to rely on flippancy and sarcasm in modern discourse as we assume the intentions of others or deliberately misconstrue them to make ourselves look superior. By engaging with someone in a pleasant way, we can disarm hostility. Even if others fail to uphold this standard, we will still maintain our own peace which is of a value beyond measure.
Those are great advices. I'd add that sadly, you probably also have to identify and avoid those platforms that actively encourage hostility.
But if you're on Mastodon, you probably did that already :D
I read different news site and I noticed that the editorial line actually push towards or away from hostility. The more clickbait it is, the more agitated the comment section will be.
Beekeeper's advice for the day: It's springtime, which is swarming season. If you do not want to have to deal with bees in your walls, make sure to either seal up or put mesh over any exterior hole in your house (especially your eaves and siding), particularly holes that are about penny to thumbtack sized. #beekeeping#advice
Ok fedi hivemind, #advice requested. I have to carry around a fairly sizeable number of pills in my pocket for extended periods, more than can be handled by a keychain pill bottle. I have been just using an old pill bottle, but these pills are tablets not capsules and the motion of them in my pocket is slowly but surely rendering them into dust. Any suggestions? Surely someone else out there who is ADHD needs to carry around a bunch of pills so they don't forget them at home. #FediHelp#HelpWanted#BoostsWelcome
@intransitivelie @Victang
Yaaas! This sounds like a good scheme. You can get all sorts of tiny (circa 1") lil ziploc kinda bags in the craft section of a dollar store etc.
My other thought was lining your pill bottle with a lil roll of flat felt. Also craft section theme.
@intransitivelie There are services now that work with your pharmacy that can package your meds into single blister packs! Ask your pharmacist and they can help set it up.
TL;DR - Let’s see if #fedi magic can find me a #dress!
I had originally ordered this one more than two months in advance and just heard from the company it’s not even in production yet so… no go but it gives you an idea of style!
I need something to wear to two weddings this summer :blobfoxdizzy:
Requirements:
*floor length on tall people (5’10)
*formal but not bridesmaid vibes
*must feel amazingly confident so I can take down mean girls as needed
What are people using for task/habit tracking nowadays? I was using Habitica for a long time, but it's grating on me now. Lightweight and Open Source if possible. Thanks for your recs!
Hey #cyberSec nerds, would anyone have some time to offer #advice about getting into the field? I've been seriously thinking about that direction but I have 0 clue how that side specifically runs.
Bonus points if your experience is from #Canada.
Yeah, I remember how some of my college not-quite-friends seemed so miserable deciding whose family yacht they'd spend the vacation on. As in, "who is in Sorrento or Cyprus this month?". It seemed to sincerely trouble them. Of the ones I've seen mention of since, they all seem to live a fairly carefree life, to be honest. Their idea of "work" is often placing a call to their personal financial manager to arrange outside financing of a new fun, catch-the-trend project. And the best part is, these projects can all fail so long as investors including themselves make a profit. That's still very much considered a "success". So they know they are successful, and that feels good.
@Frances_Larina@rrb@RickiTarr Yeah, that last bit about “projects” is key. The premise that investors, owners, and executives deserve the rewards because they’re the ones taking the risks is horseshit. They’ll be fine. The staff who get underpaid when the company is in startup mode and laid off when it goes down in flames are the real risk-takers (and often with fewer alternatives). The founder class will be (or at least has the option of being) fine.
@girlonthenet This is superb. I’d also add, the cheap 30p tin openers always work better than the fancy 9 quid ones, any dish is better with fresh ground black pepper, and electric blankets are sent to us by angels and can salvage even the worst days
Conferences present a great opportunity to meet other professionals working in your field and lay the foundations for future collaborations. But what should you do if the idea of meeting new people puts you well out of your comfort zone? Check out this week's blog for insights from a conference aficionado!
Considering trying to get into #acting. We live near a playhouse so gonna see if I can just volunteer there on the weekends doing set work or something to test the waters and get some #advice from the #actors.
The thing is that I discovered that I enjoy acting while performing in a "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" parody play waaay back in 8th grade but my low self-esteem issues led me away from pursuing it after being mocked by some assho… uh, other kids. I've always regretted letting them get in my head.
Now, playing #DnD has rekindled my interest, plus I've gotten much better at not giving a shit about others' opinions. 😂
@rafe I sometimes volunteer at a local theatre (selling tickets, etc.). You're idea of doing that is indeed a great way get to know the field. You'll meet actors, playwrites, directors, lighting people etc. I think a lot of community theatres look for volunteers in all those areas, and it's a great way to learn. I'm sure you'll have fun!
Hi all. Hope everyone is doing well. It's about to be 3:00 AM here, and I'm about to get some sleep, but before I do, I wanted to ask for #advice from those who might know more about #technology, creating #websites, and #accessibility than I do. My mom runs a #construction#business and has a website she designed herself with drag and drop on #GoDaddy. She owns the #domain it's on and wants to move the site for a few reasons: it keeps getting hacked and she's getting a lot of spam and scam messages, customer service is poor, and GoDaddy isn't very #accessible with #ScreenReaders, so I can't help her manage her website at all. I've done some research and seen that other recommended no-code website builders are #Wix, #Squarespace, and #Weebly, but I can't find a lot of information on their accessibility. I've seen posts on #Reddit recommending hiring someone to design your website, but we don't know anyone who could do that, and our budget probably wouldn't be high enough. My mom isn't great with #tech and really needs a no-code solution. Does anyone know about the accessibility of website builders like the ones I mentioned, or can you suggest another one that might work? Thanks. #blind@mastoblind
@RareBird_15@cachondo@mastoblind I use Green Geeks, but other people may have lower priced suggestions.You get unlimited web space and unlimited email addresses with Green Geeks.
Here is a question for all the community composters out there:
Can we compost raw eggs?
What are the risks and/or benefits involved?
We have covered these ones over with fine wood shavings to soak up the moisture and to prevent any smell getting out. Can't recall seeing "raw eggs" on anyone's compost input lists before now though!
I need some help. My disability is making it extremely difficult to maintain my coding career. I'm seriously considering transitioning out of it. I enjoy talking to people and helping them through the problems they're working on, I'm thinking of doing mentoring/coaching/teaching, etc. I enjoy seeing others succeed, and like helping, but I have no idea how to make that into a living. Advice appreciated. Boost for reach.
@lispegistus I don't know what your disability is but sounds like you like teaching. In the same realm maybe: tutoring, "developer relations", technical writing, making instructional youtube vids?
@wilbr I feel this, as the neighbors on one side won't talk to me nowadays. Apparently my yard is too untidy and I do not meet their standards of suburban excellence, and they complain incessantly about my fruit trees, my antennas, lack of leaf collection, etc. (out loud, when we can hear them) ... so, that's not going to work so well there, LOL.
I'll be traveling to the US and Canada in summer 2024 for 2 months, but I will not be on "vacation" from work. I need a solid wifi connection wherever I go.
We'll be visiting some fairly remote areas where cell coverage is spotty at best (the Kootenays, rural Ontario, and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan). How in the world can I guarantee a wifi connection in my travels?
Does anyone have #advice on what tire chains to get for a 2013 Audi A4 Quattro? The tires are 245/40 R18. The manual says it only needs front chains and it needs SAE type S.
This Audi has fancy rims I don't want to screw up. And I don't want to screw up the car in general.
I need the chains to get my partner's car to my parents' house this winter. I give it a 40% chance I actually need the chains.
@douglasvb You might consider those snap-on plastic things. When I had my M3 BMW specified to use only those and no chains as there wasn't enough room in the wheel well. They're also easier to store, put on, and carry around... The best chains though are RUD chains which IIRC are Type S etc., although they are not the cheapest.
@croyle@douglasvb If you go with cable "chains", look for Z-Chains (many manufacturers such as https://peerlesschain.com/passenger-tire-chain/z). Usually easier to install regardless of car type. Much more wheel huggy (which is probably the "SAE S" thing?) thus more likely not to be a problem within limited space wheel wells. I also find them way less klonky when driving on them. #TireChains
