LoganFive

LoganFive, 3 days ago to random

“Can you send me some possible good days to die?”
-Klingon Planner

LoganFive, 4 days ago to HashtagGames

Wordle on the Orient Express

#RelaxABookShowOrMovie
#HashTagGames

LoganFive, 5 days ago to random

“Please give us feedback on your experience so we can ignore it a make everything worse instead.”
-Every Company Everywhere

LoganFive, 5 days ago to random

Conferences should be called Extravert Holding Pens.

LoganFive, 7 days ago to random

Southwest is like Airplane Thunderdome but with overhead bin space.

LoganFive, 8 days ago to random

If you think too highly of yourself, people will check your ego. If you think too little of yourself, people will check your self-deprication. The secret is to think just enough of yourself so people will leave you alone.

LoganFive, 9 days ago to random

Some people have a visual impairment that makes them think the sink is the dishwasher.

LoganFive, 10 days ago to random

Sometimes I worry that the things I've starred will come up in some court case down the road and then I'll have to explain my support for erotic baking videos.

LoganFive, 10 days ago to random

If “fight or flight” comes from our lizard brain, shouldn’t it be called “brawl or crawl”?

LoganFive, 11 days ago to random

Just try walking a mile in my shoes first. Also, here, go a mile in my shirt. And a mile in my pants, socks, shoes. Great, you’ve got this. I’m gonna take off now.

LoganFive, 11 days ago to random

What's it called when you are tired of being overwhelmed all the time and tired of everything turning to shit, and tired of people being stupid ,and you finally just wig out over the smallest thing because you just can't take it anymore?

Because yeah, that.

LoganFive, 11 days ago to random

"Sanity is not statistical."
-Winston, 1984

LoganFive, 14 days ago to random

If you look up "snazzy" in a thesaurus, you get "jazzy" and "pizzazzy," and i just think more words should work this way.

LoganFive, 14 days ago to random

What they say: Make this delicious and healthy dish easily in just a few minutes!

What the instructions say: Follow these 20 steps exactly. 50 ingredients will be needed, and 3 cooking tools you’ve never heard of.

LoganFive, 17 days ago to random

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
And your frienemies somewhere in the middle.

LoganFive, 17 days ago to random

Just like a broken toilet, most problems in life can be solved if you jiggle them.

LoganFive, 18 days ago to random

For those of you still masking up like me, I wanted to ask, how do you deal with in-person job interviews? Or how would you approach it?

-Do you wear the mask the whole time? Or do you feel out the situation?
-Do you mention the mask at all?
-Do you just pass on the job if they want an in-person interview?

LoganFive, 22 days ago to random

"Good news! We turned on notifications of everything you're not interested in! If you'd like to opt out, follow this elaborate maze of the Minotaur."
-Every Company Everywhere

LoganFive, 27 days ago to poetry

A Tree

I kind of want to be a tree. I want to be accepted for staying where I am and just being. Not expected to become a different tree with more leaves and a “better” tree title.

And maybe my growth is only seasonal. Maybe, sometimes, I’m just trying to survive the winter, and no one expects me to be in perpetual spring. And as my leaves color the landscape and capture your eyes, I show you there can be beauty in withering, even in death. I show you that you can still love me even when I struggle, or fail.

And people just accept me, as a tree. As me.

#poetry

LoganFive, 27 days ago to random

Can I get a 1 word suggestion please?

LoganFive, 28 days ago to Haiku

alone, I light farts
flames searing the emptiness
not replacing you

#dailyhaikuprompt - fire
#haiku
#poetry

LoganFive, 1 month ago to random

Doctor: I'm sorry, but it looks like you're suffering from a severe lack of fucks to give.

Me: Whatever.

LoganFive, 1 month ago to random

I bet you Jon Hamm doesn’t even know that much about ham.

LoganFive, 1 month ago to random

Instead of a therapist, I am now looking for a hype man. Must be fully licensed.

LoganFive, 1 month ago to random

Celebrating paying our taxes with some high-end top ramen and water.